KATHY GRIFFIN
1.
A lot of celebrities, especially when you're talking
about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody
ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.
2. A lot of stars don't have a sense of humor.
3. But if something funny happens, I can't resist. I have to tell the people.
4. Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.
5. Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I'm not going to let that stand.
7. I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I'm going to bomb at.
8. I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.
9. I am in love with Larry David.
10. I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It's definitely rated R.
11. I do road gigs occasionally but I don't want to go out on the road for months at a time.
12. I don't like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.
13. I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act,
it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in
front of a computer; that is not my style.
14. I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you've ever heard.
15. I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.
16. I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.
17. I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.
18. I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography.
19. I'm always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.
20. I'm basically always on tour.
21. I'm not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.
22. I'm on every worst-dressed list imaginable.
23. If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night.
24. It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.
25. My act has always reflected what's going on in my life.
26. My act is based on my life.
27. No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.
28. So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.
29. So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can't help it.
30. That's life when you're on the D-list.
31. That's what I loved about Temptation Island. I don't even know why they did it.
32. The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don't know they are.
33. The thing that bums me out about The Real World is I don't want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.
34. The thing that cracks me up is how these reality
characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and
how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.
35. Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn't care less if it's true.
