Constant And Never Ending Improvement~C.A.N.E.I.

Top 20 Ways We Waste Money

20. Buying drinks from drive throughs and convience stores

19. Eating out and having alcoholic drinks

18. Speeding

17. Rush delivery on mail orders

16. Tickets for traffic violations and parking violations

15. Not using coupons at grocery stores

14. Not properly maintenancing our vehicles

13. Not making your kids a lunch for school

12. Buying cheap shampoo or cheap products period. They do not last as long

11. Buying snacks or sweets 

10. Not eating left overs

9. Leaving lights and T.V. on all day

8. Turning heaters and A/C's on and off instead of setting at a comfortable temperature

7. By not mending torn clothes

6. By not asking for a better price on goods and services

5. Buying everything name brand

4. Financing personal goods at 23% on store credit cards

3.Buying cigarettes, tobacco, alcohol, energy drinks, espressos

2.Atm fees for using a foreign atm not your bank

1.Late fees on credit cards and bills

The Upside To A Down Turn Economy

As you may or may not know, our economy needs to be corrected all the time. We are either going up or going down but it is impossible to stay the same. When we talk about correction, we are usually talking about a market correction. If the market only went up, we would have astronomical inflation and our money would be worth less. If the economy only went down, our money would be worth less as well. What always has to happen is that the economy has to correct itself. 

I do not believe in scarcity for the most part. What I do believe is that everything will only survive if you make it survive. The outcome is on your shoulders.We can keep building retail stores all day long but you must bring in the traffic to support them. What usually ends up happening though, is that business men and women do not follow the trends that are ahead and then one day it all comes crashing down on them. It is not because we can have only so many retail stores. It is because people's buying habits are changing and the Internet has taken over a lot of the retail world. What these businesses need to understand is that in order to capture and keep the market they have, they must do better. They must figure out that customer service will have to rise to a new level. Cost need to be cut in order to service better and give a better deal. Many have not learned this message and are paying for it right now in this downturn. 

As much as we may hate having the economy go soft, we need it to from time to time to make the necessary corrections. We need it to get rid of the bad, lower prices and make people better than what they are. Housing prices were getting out of control and were being made affordable to only the wealthy. This is a huge mistake and so it had to be corrected. 

There have been so many arrogant companies out there for the past 10 -12 years thinking they can be as they wish and not care about the consumer. They were simply playing a numbers game. Now the tables have been shifted and the customer is now playing a numbers game. If you are going to get the business then you had better dance for them. Mediocrity is not going to work anymore. People want the best bang for their buck. 

Another upside to the down turn economy is that people are starting to realize they need to be more mindful of their money and finances. There was a lot of waste being committed and no one had any liquidity. This is very dangerous for a society as once too many people become poor, the up rise. This has been the case for every great nation since the beginning of time. We need to reteach people economics and help them to be better managed with their finances. The trick to a rich society is education. We need to embrace the idea of getting people the information they need to thrive in a responsible manner. We can avoid false economies if we show people how easy it can be to create real wealth and how to manage it once they have it. We need to teach people to say no I can't afford that right now. Then teach them to say, "how can I afford that?" Good finances is about having the discipline and knowledge to make sound decisions. I hope that is what we are learning from this economic downturn. 

Using Your Will Power to Gain Happiness

Do you know what will power is? How often do you call on it to help you push through something? Understanding the true power within you will help you lead to happiness in your everyday life. Many people become unhealthy and unhappy because they cannot seem to find the key to getting all they want out of life. What I am suggesting is that everything you need in life lies inside of you. We need to learn how to call on this force called "will power."

I said the key to happiness come from will power and I meant it. Have you ever seen a little baby as it starts to develop, get upset because it is trying to do something and he or she can't seem to get the motor function down? What is the first thing that happens? The baby starts to cry right? Then I believe something starts to happen very profoundly at a young age. The baby either figures out how to use will power to get what he or she wants or it lies on its back screaming. I know it is hard to believe but I feel that many learn this young and go on to a prosperous life while some continue to struggle their whole life with it.

The reason I equate happiness with this subject is because as human beings, when we achieve, we are in a much better place. One of the best tools for this is our inner power. We need to understand how much is inside of us that we can pull from it. How many times have you been in a situation and thought to yourself, if only I could do this? What do you normally do next? For most people they will lay down and take what happens to them. For a few they will fight through it and come out strong. Those who come out strong have called upon what lies inside of the. This is what I playfully call the "Rocky Balboa" in us. You know what I mean if you have ever seen a Rocky movie. Somehow, some way, Rocky always finds a way to pull through. In the movie they call it heart, but in real life I call it will power.

For some, this strength also makes them stubborn in ways. This stubbornness will not let them lay down. This stubbornness makes them get up and go one more round. I had a friend once who was stubborn and he thought this was a good thing. The problem was it never helped him when he needed it. He was a person who always laid down and never fought. He just could not figure out how to pull his strength out from inside of him. He was just stubborn for the sake of being stubborn. It had no real value for him. 

I hope the next time you find yourself in a tough spot you will remember that you have what it takes to succeed. Do not lay down. Instead get up and push through. Life is already tough enough without you taking it. Fight for yourself so you can be as happy as you want to be.

The Problem With Our Government, Is Our Government!

As part of our goal for personal growth, I am always trying to teach you that you must become aware of your surroundings. This includes at home, at work and in your community. Today, I am going to take this one big step further and include our Federal government. The problem with our country right now is the Federal government we have in place. It has strayed from what the originators of our Constitution had in mind. 

I am not one to be an extremist, or yell fire when it is  just smoke, but my friends I believe that the time is coming when this current government will have a revolt on its hands unless we the people start coming together and fix what is broken. The government is just that, broken. I will try not to rant, but I am frustrated at where we are at and want to do something about it. I want to be a part of the solution and take massive action to help in our country's healing.

The problem today is that our entire Federal government system is run by lobbyist and is wholly influenced by the dollar and greed. Special interest runs your life not the elected officials we thought we elected. If we are ever going to start repairing our government, we must start with pushing out all special interest and make it a capitol crime to influence politics in any way. It must be punishable on both the interest group and the politician. We must say no to any sort of pressure or lobbying. There are plenty of ways to make a case but funding campaigns to get your agenda across in government should not be one of them. 

Next, the backwards thinking, good old boy network needs to leave. We need new people, new ideas, and new politicians. This old school way of doing things has slowed down progress and gummed up the system. I am gad we grew up a bit and threw away our bigotries and elected an African-American President, but beyond that I am afraid that is all we have done. I hope the time for change really has come but it just may have darker skin and is business as usual. We need for change to mean we are getting rid of the way we have been doing most things and start creating and developing new ways to dig us out of this mess we are in as a country. What can yo do to get involved and help? The question is easy to ask and difficult to answer. Like most things I talk about, I would suggest first start by becoming aware whet these people are doing in regards to your life and your country. Be aware of the who, what, when, and where of our government. 

The reason as a country, the common person hates politics is because it is full of bureaucracy and red tape. The idea of a politician in most people's mind is liar, cheater, con-artist. We say we are the greatest nation on earth, yet we view our politicians no different than we do a dictator or tyrant of a third world country. We need to be real and start reshaping the face of America. The world is not happy with us and it is mostly because of those we have in power running us. This affects you more than you think. 

I suggest that you start getting involved in our government. There are many groups out there that has local level and national involvement for people who want to get involved. Look on the Internet and see if you can locate one that is alignment with how you live and want to be. See what you can do to help in the fight. Maybe you are not a political brain, but I bet you could help send out emails, write letters, get others involved. We have to ban together and make our voices heard. "We the people" are three of the most powerful words ever written and spoken in the United States History. What do you think the founding fathers were saying? I believe they meant many things when they wrote this. We the people are more when we rise together. We the people are to be heard. we the people will no longer stand for anything less than right. We the people want to be represented in a manner that is ideal for who are. We the people have had enough and will stand up and fight.

Let today be a wake up call for all Americans that if we do not act, we will all loose our way of life as we know it. I am sorry if I sound extreme, but we are in a time when things have become very extreme. God Bless and God bless America.

Weight Loss Redefined

Today we are going to talk about weight loss in a different fashion than the normal everyday way. We are not going to talk about dieting, or exercise per Se. We are not going to talk so much about sacrificing, or magic pills, or crappy food to eat that are less calories. We will not count calories, eat lien cuisine, or sweat to the oldies. What I want to focus on for you in your quest for weight loss is your mind set. Weight loss redefines is the minds ability to determine that enough is enough and take massive action. 

How are all of those diets working for you? Do you here the root word in diet? The root word you here is die. That's right because every diet makes you want to die because you are so staved and so depressed from sacrificing that you would rather die than keep up with what you are doing. I have never been on a diet that works yet. There are certainly successful parts to certain diets that can be useful but overall diets are a fad or gimmick for some company to make money on. Yes some do loose weight but it has very little to do with the diet they are on. It has more to do with their mindset.

The brain is complicated for the most part but there is a simplistic side to it as well. Here is how simple the brain is when we make it this way. When we decide something, the brain will follow orders. The brain in our heads runs us on auto pilot until we wake up and take control. If no orders are given, then it decides what will go on. Some things are good for us or not harmful, but somethings are very counter productive. So ultimately no matter what we want to achieve, it is either up to us or our brains auto pilot. 

The brains main motivation is self full-filing needs. The brain can be as powerful as we need it to be providing we engage, other wise it just coast and gets what it wants. When it comes to food the brain will put you in a sugar coma if you let it. The brain will lead you to 300lbs if you do not stop it. The brain likes chemical reaction and sugars and food is just that. What you need to do instead of running to a diet is start with waking up and taking back your brain. 

Every time I have wanted to drop a few pounds or a lot of pounds I have done it. It has never been about a diet or some latest and greatest exercise guru. What happens is I stand up and say hey, I need to loose some weight so I feel better and look better. When I do this I am telling my brain, hey I got this I am taking over. The second thing I do is determine what is putting on all the weight and I re-program myself to either feel sick over those foods or put controls in place to limit my intake. When I do this it is like re-programming my computer. New directions get input and new calculations or formulas pop out. Your brain is no different. You decide how you will react. 

The next part is very important. You must say and believe this with the greatest conviction. You must believe in yourself. You must believe that you can do this. You must believe that you have the strength of 1000 men inside of you and you will bring it all out to accomplish this. You can stand on your own feet and finish this race I promise if if you will only believe. Tell yourself this, believe this and live this. Never back down again ever on this area of your life. Weight loss can happen in the same way weight gain happened, one pound at a time. 

Do not get me wrong, you need activity and exercise. You need to limit the intake of food in your mouth. You need to cut down on the sugar and sweets. Six small meals a day is much better than the 3 large ones you are doing and all the snacks. The real answer though lies in your brain and your heart.

Why Friendship Starts With the Letter "F"

What is the worse grade that you can receive in school? The letter "F" right? I wonder if it is any coincidence that the word friendship starts with the same letter as so many friends constantly fail to be "A" students in their friendships. Here is what grade you are:

A - This is the ultimate friend. They make being a friend easy. Everyone wants to be their friend because of the trust and the understanding they posses.

B - This is a decent friend but they still lack some fundamentals of friendship. All in all, they are decent friends.

C - This friend is neither outstanding nor horrible but does just the minimum as a friend. They have a moderate understanding of friendship but needs to work much harder to be a "real friend."

D. - This friend may not be a friend at all. You probably put up a bunch from them and they rarely contribute much goodness to the relationship. They lack most of the fundamental values needed for success.

F - Lacks every great quality that a friend should have. This should be a stop sign to turn around and run as they are probably very problematic and selfish. It's all about "me" with them and do not consider others. You will continually be let down by them and come up short. 

What does it mean to be a friend? I do not know your definition but mine would be as follows:

My friend will always accept my apology and will never have an issue apologizing back.

My friend knows I am not perfect and accepts me for me. My friend loves me at the end

of the day no matter how different our opinions may be. My friend will help me in a pinch no questions asked. My friend will tell me like it is no matter how harsh the truth may be. My friend

does not care about being right, just cares about doing right. My friend will not judge me but will 

not put up with me. My friend listens to me and has patience while I am talking. My friend is part         of my family. My friend will laugh with me, cry with me and fight with me. My friend is                         intelligent. My friend values others and does not trample on people's freedoms.  My friend will be         a friend no matter what.  

What is your definition of a friend? I think that for the most part we are missing what a friend really is. You should not have to work your butt off to be someone's friend. Yes, a relationship is hard work but being a friend should not be. Get to know someone before you judge them and start off wrong. Come to understandings in your friendship early on. For some new friends this is done verbally but with some it will just be understood. 

Good friends come in all packages. Keep your eyes open as you never know where your next friend will come from. My new friends are Australian and they are great people. Now when I think about Australia, i think about them. I would have never guessed I would have so much in common with an Aussie but he is like my twin. We do not need to talk about our understanding as friends. We already just get it. 

I hope from here on out you will take a moment to see what your grade is as a friend. I hope you are a straight A student but if not, you can fix that. Start with defining what you want in a friend and then be just that. 

Customer Service, Why don't they Get it? - Pt.1

Customer Service, Why can’t they get it right? –Pt.1

My wife and I often go out to eat at restaurants and no matter where we eat it seems the service has not gotten any better. Customer service is so important I do not understand why the restaurants can't seem to get it right. Here is my story about a TGI Fridays in Springfield Missouri:

So we are sitting there talking intimately. There are many in the restaurant all around us but we do not care, as we do not even know they are there. We are joking and having a good time and discussing important issues as well. Then out of nowhere, the TGI Friday server burst into the middle of us while I am in mid sentence to tell us she is going to get us another drink. She then stands there mumbling for a few minutes and then leaves. We both look at each other then go back to what I was saying. A few minutes later she comes back again and forgets the drinks and interrupts again with, “ I’ll go and get you those refills now.” I mean why does she not get it? She is to be seen and not heard unless it is important to the meal or dining experience. I am not a snob but how rude and terrible can you get at your job?

Throughout the whole visit this continued. My wife and I get so annoyed that servers have no common sense. I do not mean to sound so critical but who is training these people? Sure they know how to carry the plates, and put in the orders, but who is teaching them common courtesy and manners? I think that section must be missing in the TGI training manual. We found this behavior so odd because everywhere we went in the restaurant we were constantly greeted and asked if we needed anything. It was clear that TGI’s policy was to go out of their way to make the customer feel that they were getting great treatment but someone is missing a whole other side of the equation.  

Next we will talk about my number one pet peeve of all time when I am at a restaurant. I mean it kills me every time. We are getting to the end of the meal, and we are still talking intimately. We are feeling good from the meal and are winding down our dining experience. The waitress comes over again and interrupts us and presents us with the bill. We oblige her and take the bill so we can keep talking and she starts reaching across the table to start clearing plates while we are trying to talk. I mean is this for real or what? I do not get it. Why do they have to do that every time? I set the plates I want taken away at the end of the table so they can easily be taken yet she wants to reach across the table in the middle of us to get the other ones. Why can’t she wait until we leave? I want to scream out loud, “leave me alone and go away,” but I refrain as I am not a maniac. This happens at almost every restaurant we go to. I feel like saying,” hey, I am renting this space right now so leave the dishes until I am done or I’ll put them at the end of the table when I’m ready.

My wish is that someone will start cluing in these restaurant and that they will start implementing some common courteous and etiquette training. I don’t care if the meal is $20.00 or $200.00; the service idea should still be the same. Stay out of the customers dining box unless you are invited in.

If you have restaurant dining horror stories or pet peeves send them to me via email or post a comment below.

Why Small Businesses Fail – Pt.6

Why Small Businesses Fail – Pt.6      

The last part of why small businesses fail when it comes to employees is about the waste they commit and the bad publicity they will spread. Their poor attitudes can spread like cancer if gone unnoticed so we will take a brief look at what we need to do to protect our business. Also, watch who is in charge of ordering supplies, handling checks, and dealing with mail or your business will pay the price.

I once was going through a slump when one of my businesses was about to bust. I started looking at every aspect of my business. I found many things but what I found to be the most alarming was how much waste my employees were committing. I would watch individual employees for a span of 3-5 days. I would watch everything and not let them know I was watching them or tracking them. What I first looked at was in an 8-9 hour period, how much production were we really receiving as a company from that employee? After about 15 employees I discovered we were in trouble. The average employee was delivering about 5.6 hours a day of production. The rest was just wasted money down the drain. If you are paying eight hours then get your eight hours.

My office staff in particular would work more and more hours and still not be productive. They would have to work 11 hours a day to get close to 8 hours of production. I had to do something about it fast. Ultimately I ended up closing down the business because of what I am about to tell you next. It was the main reason I had such poor production from the staff.

A few years earlier I hire a friend of mine from softball and took him under my wing. There is a lot to this story but the moral of the story is the important part. As time had passed I made him an offer to become a partner in the business. In looking back it was a huge mistake of mine. One, he wasn’t mature enough. Two he wasn’t smart enough and three friends do not necessarily make good partners. Well, what I found out along the way was that he was breeding a culture in the business which contributed to the lack of production. He created chaos, confusion, friendships, and poor performance. Once you have this in your business and a culture gets bread like this, then it is next to impossible to remove. What you have to do is trace it back to its roots and cut it out. I should have done that a long time ago.

The next thing to be aware of is closely monitor who is authorized or allowed to order supplies. It is not the big money that gets you in trouble. It’s the nickel and dime stuff that will kill you. Monitor this close and remember these words…. Learn to say “no!” It will mean more profit later.

The last thing we will talk about is watch what is done with the mail. I would suggest, if it is possible, to have a separate person open the mail and enter it than your bookkeeper. This is a true story I had happen. I once had a bookkeeper who was horrible and would not open the mail and stuff it in a drawer. What this did was look like we had more money than we really did. When she was let go for poor performance we cleaned out her desk and found the mother load. Unfortunately it was not a good one. Heed my warning and set up a system of controls on your accounting.  Also, pay closer attention than I did and never get surprised.

Why small businesses fail is because business is complicated and it has so many moving parts. Being an entrepreneur is not for the weak at heart. Please leave a comment if you found this article helpful or if you had any other thoughts about it. Remember C.A.N.E.I. stands for constant and never ending improvement

Quotes by Franklin D. Roosevelt

It is common sense to take a method and try it. 
If it fails, admit it frankly and try another.
 But above all, try something.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Quotes by Abraham Lincoln

Below are famous quotes from Abraham Lincoln. Please enjoy the wisdom from long ago that still holds true today!

 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing.

Abraham Lincoln

Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.

Abraham Lincoln

Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test
a man's character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln

Personal Growth Tip #2

Always, always, take responsibility for what you do. No matter how painful or how demoralizing it may seem, taking responsibility for your actions is a self cleansing mechanism.

If you are ever going to learn then you need to be ready to take responsibility for your actions. The reason you want to always do this is that is how you will best learn from what has gone on. If you blame others then you have no action to execute. When you take responsibility then you have to deal with it in one or many ways. The process is not over at that point and you get top keep on working on yourself.

I can't tell you how many times in business I have to deal with people who spend their whole life pushing blame on others. Not once did they ever stop to think about why they keep ending up in the same miserable spot. It is always someone else who needs to deal with this as they are not responsible. I feel so sorry for them as those people do not realize all they are hurting is themselves. They are achieving no personal growth whatsoever. Instead they continue to live in a miserable state and never realizing what their life could really look like.

Do not allow yourself to give in to temptation to hide what you have done at least not to yourself. If you con yourself into believing you do not deserve what is going on then you will build in internal lies in which you will have to deal with. You can not hide from yourself so do not try.

Personal growth happens when we decide to do something about the way we are currently living or acting. When you decide to take responsibility for yourself, you then will be granting yourself permission to change your behavior. I hope you will decide to do just that this new year and be on your way to a prosperous life and much happiness.

Personal Growth Tip #1

When we go through our daily lives, we get stuck in a rut and stop opening ourselves up to what we really want to achieve. This is inevitable as life is consuming and is happening every minute of everyday. What we need to do in order to keep growing is to constantly remind ourselves that we want to keep on achieving and what that entails.

I know it may seem a little weird but do not be afraid to schedule "me time" for yourself. You can do this in a number of ways depending on how your life is structured. Nothing is ridiculous so do not worry as no one will be judging you but you.

Put post it notes everywhere you may get ready in the morning, in your car or at work. Remind yourself to work on those things you want to improve like eat better, calm down or don't stress. Again nothing is off limits so go as far as you need. Set up reminders in your phone so they will go off all throughout the day. The point of the exercise is to keep you reminded and get out of your daily rut.

Remember it is ok to drive a new way to work today. Eat lunch at a different time. Go home early, wake up late. Eat breakfast first before you shower or vice versa depending on what your normal routine is. Comb your hair left handed, brush your teeth with both hands. Do whatever it takes to change things up to keep you alive and fresh. We are human and we need constant reminders. Personal growth comes from being aware.

Please leave me a comment on my articles if they help you or if you need more helpful tips or suggestions.

Facebook Phenomenom

It is about time that we mature people have a site to stay in touch with those we know, love and are related to. I am now in my mid thirties and do not really appreciate the teeny bopping, all to graphic world of MySpace.

I am no prude and can get wild and have as much fun as the next person but to me I want to be able to communicate to others in a clean, nice environment. I am not a Myspace hater. My space has its crowd and that is fine but I just never really enjoyed it as much as I am on Facebook. 

Facebook seems cleaner, nicer, less advertisements or craziness. Its easy to use features and navigation make it universal for many. I have been on Facebook for awhile and lately it seems like more and more people are signing up and using the site. I have found more and more friends and family on there than ever before. 

On Facebook you can do a search by name , school or city and find old friends or family members. You can post photos, link to your favorite sites, join groups, join a cause, start a link and so much more. The functionality of Facebook is awesome and amazing and I am so grateful for this site. It is one of the best social network site on the web that brings people back together in one place. 

If you have never checked out Facebook, you should go on there and just browse to see what it has to offer. The web URL is www.facebook.com. This is for people of all ages and interests. It is free and is easy to set up and use. There is a calendar for birthdays, marketplace for items for sale or wanted, and so much more. Come and take a look at Facebook and join me on line. We would love to hear from  you. See you in space!

No More Resolutions - Make Commitments This New Years

As 2008 comes to a close many people will start with their New Years resolutions. I say this year throw out your resolutions. They do not work and never have. What we need to do this year is have New Years Commitments! When we commitment to something, we then engage in it.

For a long time I have heard about so many New Years resolutions that people make. The gym is one of the biggest ones repeatedly made by so many. From January through February the gym is packed. By March it is eases up and by April it is back to normal. The problem with resolutions are they become like slogans to people. We do not need slogans, we need commitment.

Commitments are something we bind ourselves with. Yes, people break commitments all the time but you have a far better chance of keeping a commitment than a resolution. This year make at least 3 commitments to yourself that you will keep and make happen at all cost. We do not need 10 or 20 right now. we only need 3. Sit down, and write up a list of the top 20 things you want to change in your life. Then actually number them from 1-20. One being the most important and 20 being the least. Then take the top 3 off the list and devise a plan on how you are going to accomplish them. Once that is done make a solid commitment to making them happen

As a human being we are programmed to want change but in the end we fear change because we say it will never happen, so you figure what is the point? What I believe and know is that fear of change comes in when we do not work on changing enough. We get so used to keeping things as they were. The problem is that you will want to change something at some point in your life. How will you change if you fear changing?

Remember as Anthony Robins says, "repetition is the mother of all learning." You need to work on changing over and over again. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. If you do not like what comes about from the change then you can always change it back.

In 2009 do not make resolutions. Make 2009 your year of commitment and start getting all you want out of life. I wish you a happy New Year and I hope and pray you will seek out lasting change in your life. Life will not slow down just because you do not change. God Bless and be safe.

Why it Is All About Mindset

Do you ever wonder why you set out to plan something and you have it all worked out in your head and when the event finally comes it does not live up to what you wanted? The reason for this is that it is all in the way you are looking at it. It's your mindset or mind's point of view. Fortunately or unfortunately we all program our own minds most of the time and decide how we look at something. That is why everything is all about your mind set.

Think about it this way, how do you know that a sunset is pretty? Who determined that it is pretty? Maybe to you it is not but to me it is. How do we draw these conclusions? What is romantic to you? How do you feel when you see a mentally challenged boy? Do you like scary movies? All of these things are determined by you (and outside influences) but mostly by you. We decide how we look at things and how they should be. Have you ever thought about this before? Why am I even writing about it?

Your mindset controls everything you do all day long. How you look at things, deal with situations, pass judgement and so much more. In my daily life i see how this affects allot of people. One person can have a huge lasting affect on many. We need to be aware how we affect those around us and what is controlling that.

If you are unhappy with your life right now try stepping back and reevaluating what you see and how you see it. Reprogram your brain to change up how it views the world. We need to become better people again in this country. We have become very aggressive, very judgmental and very pessimistic. If we will all just realize it is how we have programed ourselves then just maybe we can do something about it.

The next time something doesn't play out how you thought it should, step back and reevaluate your thoughts. Maybe you will discover that you were looking at it all wrong.

I will cry for you my friend!

Today I spoke with a friend about a serious tragedy in her life. We have not spoken in many years and I will not say what the tragedy was and is. She deserves her privacy. What I want to say to her is this:" I will cry for you so you don't have to." I couldn't help but tell you that as the pain and tears you have been through is too much for one person to bare. I want to help you so I give you this now. My eyes have filled up with water ever since we talked. I will now be the one who will cry so you can start to laugh again and make your life what you want.

What would you do if you were the friend, loved one or acquaintance of someone who was going through something horrific? What could you do? How would you respond? I found myself saying over and over again I am so sorry to hear that. I am sorry that happened. How many times did I say that? I felt so stupid but I did not know what else to say. So right now all I can say is I will cry for you so I don't have to say I am sorry! I am sure she has heard that enough times and I am sure she is getting nothing from it.

When we go through a traumatic experience in life we usually go into some form of shock and feel like we are in a daze. I believe when that happens God sends people into our life or back into our life for a reason. I am sure that is why we have reunited as friends. I am here to help her or she is here to help me as God works in mysterious ways.

My friend who we will call Maggie, needs our prayers and thoughts to help her heal and grow strong from this. I know there is something good for her here and I need help delivering it to her. What would you do if life became tragic suddenly? How would you function? Do you know what you would do when your life gets all turned upside down? The only thing I know for sure is I would turn to God and pray. Other than that I would do the best I can.

Maggie is doing just that and rightfully so. I do not expect more than that for her right now. I pray she figures a way out and up but she deserves all the room in the world. Maggie when I was done talking to you my heart melted and I shed tears for you. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now but just know someone cares. You are in my prayers and I am here to burden your load. If you are reading this, I ask you to say a prayer for my friend who needs your strength. Life is too short and we all need to stop every once in a while and be thankful for everything we have in our lives. We never know what God has in store(or whomever you believe in) but what we need to do in the mean time is be a friend to as many as we can while we are here.

Thank you Maggie for sharing and I hope you are not mad at me for sharing. I felt so moved to tell some of your story today in the hopes someone out there will heal from this. 

The Automatic Millionaire

I recently Have read the book by David Bach called The Automatic Millionaire. For those of you who have never read it I highly suggest you do so as you will be astounded how much you will learn from this easy to read book. I am not writing a book review on it as much as I am using what I have read to help you use a broader principle in the book. You have to automate everything in your life to get more than 24 hours a day. That's right I said it. You can actually have more hours in the day if you automate everything that you can. The facts are these in life that God only gave us 24 hours in a day. (or whomever you believe gave) I have tried it all and nothing else has worked except one thing. I need to duplicate myself a 100 times over.

In the book, Bach talks about automating your investing by means of on line auto payments, having your employer auto deduct for 401 k contributions and any way you can to set your investing on autopilot. What I suggest is let's take that one step further. Why not automate everything we can so we can spend our time doing what we want to do? We can set up our investing to be automatic. Why not set up our bills to be paid automatic on bill pay for instance? One of the banks I belong to is Bank of America. There may be one better but I have never seen a better on line than Bank of America's. You can perform a huge variety of tasks and in real time. I use their bill pay function amongst other things. I used to make late payments, waste a bunch of time writing out my bills, and a whole variety of other things including being grouchy. I hate paying my bills but I do not do it any more. I deposit my money and the bank does the rest at my direction.

For a complete tutorial on your banks bill pay ask your banker or go on to their website. It is safe, fast and free to highly affordable.

I automate as much as I can in life. I set auto responders on my emails and have automatic signatures. If there is a way to do something once and forget about it I do it. The question is why aren't you? Go ahead and give it a try. You will be amazed by how simple it is to cut down on chores and give yourself back more time in life. Even the skeptics will agree that if you take any suggestions and put them to use then you will gain so much.

The other book and idea I really love is the Four Hour Work Week. The general idea behind this book is that you outsource everything in your life you do not want to do thus giving yourself more freedom in life. What a fabulous idea this is if you understand it. If everyone who reads this thinks like this then your life will be changed forever. What I am about to say is worth billions but you have to believe in it. Even if you have never owned a business you can still do this. You need to start thinking like a high priced CEO of a huge company. What this means is this to you. CEOs do not change their own oil to save a dollar. Walmart or Jiffy Lube is cheap so take it there. They do not clean their own house or take out the garbage to the street. They do not mow lawns, do laundry or wash their own cars. They do not dust, go grocery shopping or run errands. CEOs outsource all of that to everyone else so they can either make money, recuperate their minds and bodies, or they enjoy what they have built. Doing a 10.00 an hour job when you can use your mind to make millions does not make sense so they do not do it. Now you may not want millions but I bet if you could have 5 free hours a week to do as you wish you would consider what I am saying. It's not as hard as you think and not as expensive as you think. Give it a try and see what it does for you.

I would read these books if you have an interest in something better in life. You can get them both on Amazon.com or at Barnes and Nobles. Do yourself a favor and take back your life!

Write your own pay-cheque and improve your life!

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The 4 hour work week is the way to go

Outsource your life is the idea behind the 4 hour work week and it is not as crazy as it seems. I recently came across a site a www.elance.com. Elance will help you outsource things you need to get done in business and in life. You post on their site what you need and then people will bid on it to do it for you. They get you the bids and someone does what you need. There are so many people out there in business who will compete to do your daily duties for you. This allows you to do what you really want to do. The 4 hour work week is about innovation with your time and how to get the most out of life. This is a great book if you are interested. The idea is awesome. Let others do your work for you while you do other things to enjoy yourself or make more money. Here are 10 tips to outsource your life:

1.       Outsource your phone calls, emails, junk mail

2.       Get a maid to do your cleaning

3.       Have your IT work outsourced

4.       Have your marketing outsourced

5.       Personal chores/errands can be outsourced

6.       Meals can be prepared for you ahead of time

7.       Get a landscaper/clean up person

8.       Outsource your customer service calls

9.       Have cards sent out for you on special occasions

10.   Get a vehicle valet who will take care of washing, gassing and waxing your car.

These are all just suggestions but if you have a need, then there is someone out there who will fill it. Check out the site above and I will post more sites in the future.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Defining wealth – How to live better

I have recently turned around a tough financial time in my life in a matter of about 3 weeks. As I now sit here I was thinking about why I got to where I did and why it is important to be where I am at now. In the book by Robert Kyosaki - Rich Dad Poor Dad, the author talks about how you define true wealth. He states that true wealth is how many days can you go without working? For most people the answer is simple and that is a week to two weeks. The average American household has about $1100.00 in liquid cash available to them and that’s it. Poverty is getting worse everyday. If you have $2200.00 in liquid cash in the bank, that puts you in the top bracket of wealth in this country. We are not saving anymore and the spread between the rich and the poor is growing daily. Do you know what happens when this number gets way out of reach? It’s called anarchy. Every great civilization  has fallen in time and it is usually do to an up roaring from the poor. Once anarchy and chaos set in then the collapse happens. Do not get paranoid, get smarter.

In the last three weeks I have paid off all my bills besides my house payment. I reduced $2800.00 a month from my monthly bills. In my business I reduced my monthly overhead by $55,000.00 a month. Think about that in terms of liquid cash. I had to get up everyday and keep paying on bills before I even put a dime in my pocket. It had gotten so bad I just about gave up before I realized I had all the power I needed to turn it all around. In the business I have a little more to do but in two weeks or less I will have it right where we need to be. Why is all of this important? Think about what Rich Dad said. Wealth is defined by how long you can go without working? We need to build in patience and pay for things with cash when we have it. I have done that for years until about last year when I took my eye off the ball. Maybe I may make more than you or she make more than me but our lives are all conducive. We tend to spend to the level we make. What we should be doing is save to the level we make. If we are going to reach our goal of real wealth then we will need to get rid of our bills and start putting liquid cash in the bank. We owe it to ourselves to become wealthy. It is our right and we have the power to make it occur. All we have to do is stay focused and vigilant. If tomorrow comes and I want to stay in bed, I can now stay in bed. We are the masters of our own universe if we set it up that way.

Now, what is your plan for getting started? Sit down and make a list of all the bills you have and what they are costing you a month. Then take one at a time and start paying off. If you need to make more money, then get going. Figure out how much and how long you will need to get a second job, or make extra income to get it all paid off. For more help on setting up a plan, go to my website and sign up for coaching. Good luck to you and start becoming wealthy!

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Car buying 102- Do not get emotional

Retail car dealerships want you to get emotional about the new car you want. That’s why they are so admit you drive it and sit in it and get the feel for it. They want you to love that car at all cost. Do not get emotional about it.

In my last post I told you to set a time limit and stick to it. This was for two very good reasons. One reason is because you need to remain in control as much as possible. If you give up any of your control in this situation then you will be done for .The second reason is because they want to keep you hanging around and wearing you down. This was made famous by police and investigators. It is called wearing you down so you will sign the confession, or in this case the contract. That’s why the first stage is to get you hooked and get you emotional. They want to build into you that you must have that car and you will not leave without it. They are praying on your emotions and the more they wear you down, the more likely you are to do what it takes. Have no emotion in front of them about the car. In fact, a lot of times I act like the vehicle is ok. I can take it or leave it. I do not show any tiring at all either. I act the same as when I got there. I stay at one level the whole time.

I also want to point this out to you too. The salesperson, the sales manager, and the finance person are all part of an act. The salesman acts either dopey or like a pro. The sales manager is the bad person. The Finance Manager is the numbers guy. They all work in tandem to dominate you and get you where they want to. They leave you in a room or at a table or booth for periods at a time. One comes in and then one leaves. They peer at you over the booth they are in and all of it to work you. They come in and talk to you out of both sides of their mouths so when they leave you say , “ huh?” Don’t let them rattle you. Stay calm and keep cool. Do not argue in front of them with your spouse or on the phone.

Lastly, do not take a bus to the dealership or act desperate in any way. Borrow a friend’s car if need be or have them go with you. I also suggest taking someone with you who sits there quietly, looking disapproving. Have a plan ahead of time for them to never talk while any dealership personnel are in there. This will cause uneasiness but is very effective. When I am talking about dealerships I am not talking about all dealerships nor am I talking about manufacturers like Ford, Toyota, Chevy, Mazda, etc. This practice has been changing a bit over the years but still is very prevalent in the industry. Stay tuned as I will give more opinions on how you can save time, money and your sanity. For more stories on Car buying you can also see specials on 60 minutes, Dateline and other news programs on line.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

When it comes to change-Keep on moving

I have always enjoyed my ability to adapt to new places, situations and people. I do not know where I acquired it from because I come from a family who is terrified of change. My mother had 3 jobs here whole life. One of those three jobs was a second job she held concurrently with her second job for 15 years. Once she was offered another job through a large university for a lot more money and benefits and she turned it down as she was so uptight thinking about starting a new job. Why does this happen to so many people? Does this sound like you or are you more like me? Maybe you are somewhere in the middle even. Let’s talk about change and what it means to the human spirit.

In case you have never figured it out, change is happening in most cases rather you participate or not. The earth is spinning, seasons are on the move and you are getting older. Some believe that you can never remain constant. You are growing or shrinking, getting in better shape or worse or growing your business or declining your business. Change will occur even without your help. This is the natural law of the universe. From the moment we are born we are dying so the best thing you can do in life in regards to this is learn to adapt.

So why do so many fight change? The reasons most do not like change is because we are creatures of habit and we like familiarity. The best example of this is the home we live in. Most people love going home because no matter how nice it is or how crappy it is, it is our own familiar comfortable place. We make our home so we are comfortable and familiar to it. We sleep on the same side of the bed, we use the same routine to get up every morning to get ready for our day and we take the same path to work. We set up familiar to tell ourselves we are safe. Here comes the real problem and that is, what do we do when we have to change?

Learning to adapt to change is like most things. Repetition is the mother of all learning so you just have to start doing it. For years I would always eat the same kinds of food. The reason is when I was a child I ventured out one day not out of want to trying new things but because of monetary constraints. I wanted the most food for my little buck. When I got the food I was so disappointed. I went hungry and so from that day on until 3 years ago I never ventured out. One day though about three years ago I decided to get out of my comfort zone. I had this very close friend of mine who started pushing me to try new places. I fought it at first but slowly but surely I found out all I had been missing. I was very uncomfortable at first as you see I would relive my tragedy over and over again every time I was going to try something new. Now, who cares if it is not something I like as at least I gave it a try.

When it comes to change, go for it. Do not get frozen by the thought of changing anything up. If you are married, try new traditions. Take a new route to work, brush your teeth first, and anything else you  do every day as a routine. She/he who can adapt will always win at all they do!

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Who is right?

If you are sitting there convicted that you are right, then have no worries. You are right so you do not have to worry about cleaning up your messes, after all you are right. I wish I were you to feel so secure when I was wrong and not blink. I wish I could light a fire as bright as yours yet not burn bridges along the way as you have but I have God I must answer to. I wrote you an earlier blog about who are you to judge and yet you still continue. Judge and you will be judged is what I promised you so do not be surprised when the verdict comes back. I am glad you are right and you should keep telling yourself that as there will not be many around you to support you. I know that is a problem because it proves your point that the world is at fault for all of your problems. Scream it out so all can hear you blame them. It will not help you be any better but at least you will feel lousy. I am sorry you have become this but do not worry as there is some hope for you. You can drop to your knees and ask the good lord for forgiveness. When you are done with that, pick up a phone and start calling all the people who you have wronged in life. If you need some help with the phone bill and the time off work then do not call me as I am still here with you even you know you don’t deserve me. You just have forgotten about me. That is right, do not looked puzzle just because you never listen to me. Remember you are right so you do not need me. Who am I? Who are you without me? I am your conscience and you have been found wanting. Too bad you were always right because l would have helped you correct your mistakes and say I’m sorry but yet you always listen to your emotions. What a trip that has been as I have seen her alienate and ruin so many relationships for you. Who am I you ask? I am the only chance you have at a good life! I am your conscience. Heed my warnings!

Why would you run?

How many times have you been in a situation in life where you get your butt handed to you? I mean that life just beats on you in a situation where you feel so defeated? It has happened to all of us at some time on a regular basis in life. There is nothing wrong with you because of this. You are not weak or worthless. You are just human. The question Is, “What do you do when it occurs?” Do you lie down and roll over and take it? Do you want to run away from the situation and forget it happened? Do you have resentment for what went on or do you decide to face it like the challenge it is? I will tell you what some of my fellow teammates did and then I will tell you what I would do. Let me say this first. When life faces you with a rough time or a bad situation, face it. This is a defining moment in your life and it is a point to define your leadership! Leaders do not lie down. Leaders stand up and fight, and fight, and fight. Leaders have a never say die attitude and see every bad situation as an opportunity to rise to a challenge. Here is what my teammates did:

We have a softball team and we play in a highly competitive league. We are allowed unlimited homeruns in this league. This is good and bad depending on how you play the game. The good teams use the homeruns when they need them and bad teams just go up there swinging for the fences. We are a team who uses them when we need them. I was away on vacation and I put the leadership of the team in the hands of one of my trusted leaders who is also a friend. They played a team that hit homerun after homerun and was slaughtered 53-13. We are a championship team over the last 3 years. We have had bad games before but this was a bad night. What I understand is there were errors after errors, and a lack of” can do attitude”. For whatever reason we were to play the same team the next week and my fearless leader decided they didn’t want to play that team again so they forfeited. He gave me excuse after excuse and would get emotional about it. There was no talking to him.

What I would have done was rise to the challenge and face that team with a passion that would not relent. You cannot shake me with a big rig loaded with bricks as I am resolved. I do not always win in everything I do but I do win way more than I lose. Yes I am competitive but it is not the competitive nature in me that makes me this way. I have lived and have seen what living like a defeatist is like. Life has no possibilities for you. Your options are all out and you get what you get and I refuse to be that way. I also know that I am a leader and if this is the way I go about doing things then what will that mean for the ones who choose to follow me? What message will I be sending? Now I love my friend and appointed leader like a brother but he is all mouth and no backing a lot of the times. He lies down at the first sign of adversity and in return shows poor leadership. I want so much for him but what I have learned is that he needs to want more for himself. He needs to want more as a leader and realize that he has a following.

This is a story about softball but you can take out the subject of softball and put in so many other subjects or scenarios. You get fired from your job or you lose your house or you get mugged or raped. No matter what the situation is there are only two real choices. Lay there and take it or stand up and fight. These are all defining moments in your life and once you make a decision one way it will influence you the next time the next situation arises. This is where the lies we tell ourselves comes in. You might say, “Just this time I will deal with it this way and I won’t do it again.” Whatever lies you tell yourself just know this; you will do this again and again. Once you lie to yourself once then it all begins and is very tough to stop later. Do not do this to yourself. You are better than this and you are also a leader and need to show those who follow you something better. Stand up and fight!

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

How to improve your communication skills

Improving your communication skills is the key to having fulfilling relationships. No matter what relationship we are talking about, having clear, honest and open communications will increase your chances of success in the long run. In order to improve your communication skills you must understand that you must also get good communication back from the other party. You do not have the option of force so what you will have to do is encourage and train. That other person may be a lousy communicator with others but with you they will be superior as you command good communication in your relationships. Let's look at how we can improve our communication skills effectively.

First, start with your demeanor and personality. We must put off a vibe so to speak that says we are an affective communicator. We must live it and breathe it to all we encounter. We need to improve ourselves in our confidence in communicating to others. You must understand why we want to improve our communication skills because we want to be understood. In order for that to occur we need exact instructions to others.

Second, speak clearly and effectively using examples if necessary. If you are writing, then write neatly and draw a clear picture for whom the written form is intended. Do not get complicated in your communication. Instead be clear, concise and firm. Remember, presentation is everything in communicating so become a great presenter. Let the person know you are communicating with that you are like a seasoned actor who draws in the audience. The more of their attention you grab the better. Most peoples attention span is thirty seconds. If they are not connecting with you and drawn in then you will have even less time with their mind. Your communication skills need to constantly be perfected so never pass up an opportunity to practice them.

Do not leave anything open to interpretation that you do not want left open. Go as far as you need with the person that you are dealing with to make sure that your point is well understood with out guessing. If you fall short then they will fill in the blanks and we do not want that! We want to be in charge of our own communications and we want to be heard as we intended the message. We have our own voice to be heard.

Get the other party to participate in the communication. The more active you can get the other side the better then you will know they are receiving what you are doing. All communication on your side with no response from the other is side should be scary to you. We want affirmation that they understand and that the communication is good. If there is are objections or questions we want to know now not later. Do your best to engage your audience.

Lastly, have a clear plan before communicating. The more organized your communication is the better. If your other party involved with the communication is confused because it is disorganized then we will lose all chance of accomplishing our goal. For instance, if we are communicating with our spouse about how they spend too much money and we lay out our communication talking about the types of products they buy and how expensive they are. Then the message may be to change up my choice of products and get a better value for the dollar in their mind. Then he/she may keep spending as much money but get more products for the same price may be the message received. Figure it out before you open your mouth. Having to rehash the same message will be irritating to your spouse and you will have little chance to succeed.

Improving your communication skills has to be habit forming. They need to be used at work and at home. Communication skills will improve over time depending how much work you put into them. Do not give up as eventually your correct message will be heard the way you want it to be heard. I hope I communicated all of this clearly. 

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Into the wild –Building a network for success

No man is an island! There was a time when I thought I could live on an island and be my own man. I have felt this way since I was a young man until one day it dawned on me that no matter how I tried I always needed someone’s help or product or money or whatever I needed. I do not grow my own food or build my own car. I hire employees because I need their help growing my business. I join networking groups to grow my business and I have lots of friends that I hang out with. I also discovered the same thing that the boy in into the wild discovers and that is that life is no fun without someone to share it with. I believe God puts people in your life to be an eyewitness to your life. Without others, who would know you existed?

In this book and movie the character strips his whole life away and takes what he needs to go and live into the wild. His intentions are to get away from what has been plaguing him for his whole life and that is his parents and the phoniness of the world. He is a writer and believes he holds the key to a fulfilling life. What we discover along the way is that he spends a lot of time with people whom he really enjoys and that he really does need people. I also believe that he also discovered that you can never really run from your past as it is what makes up your present and future. Life is the combination of all of your experiences. Taking away any piece is not a complete person but only a part.

Just as the character in the movie, I too had problems in my young life with people and family. At some point I became tainted with the idea that all people would eventually disappoint me and leave me so I started to become withdrawn. I had the crazy idea that if I just eliminated people from my life that I could be happier. The less people I had to deal with the easier my life would be. This has never been so untrue in all my life. We need others to get through our journey in life. It has taken me forever but what I truly learned was that I have to remove poisonous people from my life and not just everybody as a whole. I constantly try and surround myself with good people and then weed out the bad. The more this goes on, the bigger my life gets. I am constantly working on my circle of friends in business and  in my personal life. This is how you get success in life. We need each other and there is just no way to avoid that.

Let me caution you on this when it comes to building your networks. Before you can build a successful network, you need to figure out who you are, what kind of people you want around you, and what is the purpose of your circle of friends. Building a network without a plan is like planting a garden without a blueprints. At the end there will just be sporadic plantings everywhere without a flow or garden atmosphere. Plan your network in advance and plan your person. Know what you want and need ahead of time to make it happen the way you want it to be. Get the results that you desire by going for it and not looking back. People will always disappoint you and let you down but if your network is strong then it will never matter. The network will always pick up the slack for those who do not come through. Life is a business deal and it needs to be thorough if you will succeed. I always say to my people that they need a backup plan for their back up plan. Having a solid network will accomplish this.

Do not get to the end of your life and realize you were wrong about what it takes to be happy in life. Discover for yourself as early as possible that people are in your life for a reason. Set your standards high on who you want in your life and keep an eye on who enters in the picture. For me, I have gotten so much better at guarding the gate. I still have much work to do but my life is night and day different from even twelve months ago. I am not bitter by those who have damaged me and I forgive them as quick as I can. I do however learn from each bad experience they bring me. I hope you will too!

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

What will you do?

One day life will punch you in the stomach with a situation that may be life threatening or a tough situation. This is a guarantee in life. The question will not be how will you avoid it? The question will be, “What will you do about it?” How will you respond to life’s challenges? I know that you have two choices. One will be that you can just lie down and the other is that you can rise up and face the challenge. The choice will always be yours. The outcome is depended on your attitude.

What will it do for you to give up? I was talking to one of my attorneys one day and he told me about one of his clients. He had walked by the client in the parking lot one day (they had offices in the same complex) . He asked his client how he was doing and his client said, “Well I have just found out I have prostate cancer and I am closing down by business. I will probably not see you next year as I will more than likely be dead!” He would die three months later as he had already decided he would die! The brain is a powerful tool and when you tell your brain what is going to happen, it makes it happen. Now I am not God or a doctor but I am pretty sure that his client could have made it a long time if he could change his mind. I mean think about what he did. He prepared his store for closing as he had already lost. He was willing to accept his sentence and take the death sentence. In the book by Lance Armstrong called It’s not about the Bike; Lance shows a spirit that said to the world that he will not lie down and die. His mother and his wife had the same spirit. His friends and family all were resolved to beat this cancer he had. He had testicular cancer which is very fast moving. He decided that he had no choice but to beat it and he did. He also went on to have a career that has been even more victorious than before the cancer. Lance showed me that I decide how the show ends by the way I think. Giving up is never an option for me. I have never had cancer and I hope I never do but if I do, I will not lay down and die. What will you do if you had cancer? What do you do if you are bankrupt? What do you do when your kids act up? How about when you are fighting with your spouse or if your business is failing? Do you lay down and take it?

I know that when harsh situations and bad circumstances present themselves in life you go into survival mode. This is very normal and you are not alone but consider this if you will. What would happen if you decided not to survive but instead you decided to thrive instead? Think about that idea. Instead of just getting through the situation, you actually came out ahead. How amazing would that feel to you? Wouldn’t that just empower you forever? Wouldn’t you just continually be able to take every bad situation and turn it around as once you learn the secret to success, it changes the whole way you approach situations. Life will never change. You will always be presented with these unavoidable realities and you will always have a choice how you deal with them. No, life will not always come out exactly how you want, but you will have a much better chance at making it the way you want it. Do not lie down or go into survival mode. Rise up and take a stance on the outcome. Be brave and face down adversity and give yourself a fighting chance. If I am wrong, then you will still die of cancer. If I am right, then you will be in permanent remission and living a full life. Call me on your one year reunion of your remission. I would love to add you to my success stories.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Living with alcoholism through adolescent eyes

One day he went to the doctor because he was not feeling very well. Like lines on a map, alcohol was taking a toll on his body. His face was weathering to that old familiar look. They had run tests 3 days earlier and the doctor wanted him back to discuss the results. This is never a good sign but alcoholics generally do not pick up on things of intuition. The doctor said to him,” I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is you can go home and have all the beers you want. The bad news is you will only get to enjoy them for a short while because you are killing yourself by way of alcohol.” He was killing his liver. Now I do not know how he put down the bottle that day, but what I do know is that he never put down the tenancies that got him to that point. You see alcoholism is not just about the liquid you drink or prefer. I do not care what any doctor tells you about alcoholism. If they do not talk about the alcoholic tenancies that must be put down then you have only won half the battle and gained half the truth.

Like most of you, I thought alcoholics were about drinking. It seems simple enough on the surface. Too much alcohol equaled alcoholic. My mother always said, “Most anything in moderation was ok for you.”  My step father must have missed that lesson and so must have my aunt and real father. Alcoholism does not start with a drink. It does not start with several drinks. What it starts with is a personality that has to drive the whole alcoholic train. Alcoholics get started with a personality of what is called personality tenancies. These tenancies are what drive a person to drink. Like demons in the night, alcoholics are haunted and are almost driven to drink. Some are aggressive people, some are passive people but they all have one thing in common. They all have habits that are neurotic and compulsive and that the alcohol will intensify.

My step father was the aggressive type. He would get violent with every drink. He lost all ambition the more he would pound his drink of choice. Budweiser in a tin can was his drink. I am not against Budweiser (although they had a play in my tragedy), as every person has the choice to drink in moderation. He could drink more beer than most people could drink water. To this day I do not know how he drank so much liquid. He was not a very nice man or father back when he drank. I do not know how my mother ever put up with him and all he did. I do not know how my brother and I ever turned out so well as alcoholics will steal families and dreams without a conscience. They are not aware of what they do except that they continually need more alcohol. They are chasing that high that came the first time they drank. Oh how they think their problems disappear with the booze. What they never realize until it is too late is that the problems will wait for you by the front door until you are done. They do not vanish or go away because you keep on drinking. They will pile up like newspapers until you pick them up and do something with them.

I am a survivor of an alcoholic family. I have lived through the yelling and the senseless fighting. The grease stains on the wall from food being thrown at it. I have witnessed the drunk driving and the all nighters that occurred regularly in our lives. I have survived a hell that no child should ever see much less any person. My childhood was taken when it comes to safety and security for the devil himself would enter our modest home nightly through a Budweiser can. I was a child afraid of a liquid and yet what I came to know later was that it was the habits that my step-father had that were the problem.

I believe that if you have no love in your life, then you are in trouble as tough love is no real love. Tough love is a recipe for alcohol. Going through life the tough way is a personality that reeks of alcohol. If you are a person with no spine and the world walks on you then you are in trouble as a paper bag will find its way into your hands more than likely. When you are an alcoholic, you need to discover what tenancies you have that is driving you to drink. Simply putting down the bottle will not stop all of the nightmares and rough life style. Seek out what ails you and fix it. When my step-father quit drinking, he was still an aggressive, combative, tough love kind of guy. He was still lacking crucial social skills outside of a bar. He had not figured how to function without alcohol flowing throw his blood as he had nowhere to go and hide anymore. He became even more angry and bitter with every passing day. His answer to anyone who crossed him was to beat them up or sue them for everything. He was a tough role model to follow as I was only 12 and beating up or suing everyone at my age was difficult. There had to be a better choice. Why couldn’t he see that his methods were disastrous and that even you know he was no longer drinking, he was still hurting our family. He needed to learn to stop all the anger and the aggressive behavior and the very attitude that made him an alcoholic. He would never get better until he stops acting like an alcoholic for beer was only the magnifier that gave him an excuse for his behaviors.

Now my story comes out great in the end as I am not an alcoholic and neither is my brother. As for my step father, I believe he is still on step 11 or however many steps there, he is one step away from kicking alcoholism. He has succeeded in most areas but still holds on a bit to those tenancies. I think age has slowed him down a bit and so has the passing of my mother. I hope one day when he gets to heaven that he will realize that only God needs to forgive him and that thank God he sent my mother to rescue him. As for me, I will do my best to not let people forget what my mother has taught me and that is “most anything in moderation is not bad for you!”

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. 

Who are you to judge others?

Judge and ye will be judged. This is pretty logical thinking as everyone I have ever met who has been judgmental is always in the hot seat. Playing judge and jury is great until you are in the defendant’s chair. Who are you to judge as life on its own is a tough thing to negotiate? Watch how you put yourself in a position of judgment as one day your time will come to be in the lime light.

I do not know when we all decided that we could be the judge of others. It just seems to start happening from the beginning when we are kids. It starts slowly and it builds. At some point we either learn to stop doing it so much or we kick into overdrive. Judging others is addicting and is hard to stop once you are an adult who had done it all your life. I know for me that it was and is a very hard habit to break. I have learned to take judgment for others and turn it into trying to help others without imposing my lifestyle on others. I know about judging as I have come under so much scrutiny in my life in the past. It has slowed down to nothing since I have cut it out. I would get judged for things I didn't even do and I would be outraged. What finally calmed me down was that I figured it was god's way of punishing me for all of the things I did do that I didn't get punished for. I also learned that the less I judged, the less I was judged.

What does it mean to judge others? Judging others is when you think you were appointed to be in a position to impose yourself on another. Most of the time I find those who are judging others are either being rude or are arrogant in thinking they are better. Either way, they are usually wrong. Judging is being critical towards others and it leads to hurtful feelings. Constructive criticism is to be helpful and should be welcomed. Judging others because you disapprove should not be acceptable. I do not know when judging others is helpful except in a court room and even then it is tainted.

In owning a business I unfortunately have to pass judgment all the time, in doing so for many years I have tried to get people to judge themselves in situations. I have found this to be very effective and it keeps me from judging others. I do not mind judging situations but people are very difficult and dangerous. I have guilt that I may be harming someone because of my judgment. I am a leader and it comes with the territory but I feel I have a responsibility to ensure I am not hurting my people with an unfair label. I want more from people so I must do my part to make sure I never cause them harm by my judgments. i have lived being unfairly judged and I do not like it. I am not a complainer but I know my own feelings in this matter. If I am going to be judged then I want to be judged on my own merits and without bias from people. I now I am not alone in this and I hope by writing this article I will inspire others to think about it before they judge others. As Americans we are judged worldwide and not always in a good manner. At some point in our life we need to understand the full impact of this action. I hope we will start today and realize it only takes one person to start leaving the gable at home.

Why did I go weak?

2007 was a very trying year for me in so many ways. It is hard as I say that because it also was awesome in so many ways. The finality of the year has recently just piled up on me and has finally staggered me. Lately I feel like there is a ton of bricks sitting on my chest and it is hard to breathe. I know what to do in both my personal life and my business life but I feel like I have failed lately. I want only the best for me and everyone around me but I am coming up short. Why did I go weak? I do not need to look for answers as I have them. I know what it takes to succeed and take care of myself but I have taken the focus off of where they should have been. So today I am apologizing to myself for doing that and I am forgiving myself for this time of weakness. I am human and I deserve to falter from time to time. I will work hard to clean up my messes and make corrections so they do not occur again like this. I know that I am strong overall and can make it through anything in life. I have stared down so much worse than any of this so I will not be afraid. I will conquer any and all of this and I will come out better than when I started. I only hope that you, my readers will also forgive me. I have not failed you, I have grown more. I have not failed you; I have helped you to succeed more. I know you have gone through this also, so we will heal together. We are human and we will fail from time to time. Do not let it make you lose hope or your passion for all you do. Today is a new day and we have the ability to start again.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

How to find your true passion

I am Teacher!

Some people will search their whole life and never find their true passion. They will live in a world wanting something so bad and they may never figure out what it is they desire. Many will talk about passion and many will know something about passion but few will find it. That is very unfortunate as I believe we can all find our true passion in life. I am Teacher!

I want you to ask yourself one question. I want you to ask yourself what puts the most joy into your heart in life. There are plenty of events and things that make you feel good and you enjoy them but what is really an awesome experience when it occurs? What would you change your whole life for because it is so awesome?  Whatever the answer is I would start making it your daily life. If you are one of the lucky ones who succeed in this, your life will never be the same. Trust me as I know how it feels. I am Teacher!

I found my passion through a series of events in my life. I wanted so much and wanted to be so much but lacked a lot of understanding. I thought I wanted other things in life never realizing I wanted something completely different. What I wanted was to teach people. I wanted to leave a mark on this world that was and is positive and I just couldn't figure out how to do it or if it was even something worth doing. I struggled with this for a long time until one day it was all too clear to me. I am Teacher! I had finally taught someone a great lesson and they applied it to their life. I was transformed from that day on and I will never look back. I had to look long and hard to figure out what motivated me and made me feel like a million bucks every day. I needed something that would fuel my fire even during the rough times. I needed passion in my daily life and I have found it. I love what I do and would not change it. People frustrate me daily but because I am so full of passion for what I do I keep pushing through. I know I can succeed in all that I do and I have hope for a bright outcome. What I have learned is that you too can find your passion and have all your dreams become a reality.

Do you ever wish that your life was different? Do you ever wish that you can lead the life that you want on your terms and not everyone else's terms? I would beg you to understand that life without passion is like having very little air to breathe. You can do it but you will struggle and work twice as hard. What is holding you back? You have to find the secret to living a full life and having joy daily. The secret is in finding your passion and living it. To find your passion, I have created some questions that should lead you to discovering what your true passion is. I have a long extensive list but I will get you some to get you on your way.

What motivates you long term? Short term motivation doesn't last. Knowing what is long lasting is the key to passion. What do you love in life? Love is a powerful emotion that has a lot of value. Discover what you love and understand it. If you are not doing it now as a career, what career would you love to have? Why settle for something else when anything is achievable. Who inspires you? Why not learn from someone who already has it figured out? What would your life look like if you found your passion? See it first, live it second. What do you dread doing in life? Make sure that you are not doing it now or that it is part of your true passion. What you need to do with these questions is ask them to yourself, and then be open and free to answer them. Getting passionate is not a quick process. It takes time and patience to understand so do not take these questions lightly. If you discover your true passion then you will be happy that you took the time to discover it. Anything good is not always easy upfront so do not give up. I know you will discover your true passion soon. I am grateful I have found mine and that I have taken the time to share it with you. I am Teacher!

Best ways to reduce stress

There are two types of stress in life. One stress is helpful and can drive you to peak performance and one stress will kill you quicker than you can imagine. I point this out as it is very helpful to understand the stress that you want to reduce. Reducing good stress is counterproductive. I own several businesses and am on the move constantly. I have several methods to reduce bad stress and a lot of times replace it with good stress. I also have worked really hear on correcting my mind set not to make everything so big and so final. "This too shall pass" my mom would always say and I believe it daily. If I do not take on all the world's problems I am fine. I do what I can do in my world and that keeps me grounded. I believe when you try and take on things that are impossible then you begin to get stressed out and overwhelmed. I am not insinuating by any means do not reach high. I am simply trying to suggest not to put yourself in a losing battle right off the back. We tend to stress when we feel defeated right from the get go. Take on new challenges that are smart and not insane.

When I first wake up I start by clearing my thoughts in my head. I get organized on what the day is going to bring me. I tell myself I will attack today with my best. I then thank God for another day in this life. From the time I wake up until I arrive at one of my offices, I work on my attitude. I also prepare myself mentally over the tasks I have to take on. I am then ready for my day. I often at some point in the day close my door and have me time. I like to just think and dream. I take a deep breath and let it out in a controlled manner. I let go of any bad thoughts and ideas I have in my head. They are not productive. I then re-challenge myself to perform better and reach new heights. I put good stress on me and let it drive me. I do not give myself an out and make sure I accomplish what I want and need. I then rejoin my day. I make a deal with myself daily I will stop myself when I feel myself getting worked up.

I also exercise in some way daily. Exercise is a great stress reducer. You do not have to run a marathon just get in 20 minutes or so and break a sweat. When I do not exercise I feel tense. I then put on weight and I get irritable. When I work out I feel awesome and oddly enough I feel a whole lot more stress free. I also meditate in my own way. I use reading as a form of meditation and also video games. For me those two activities focus my thoughts on only what I am doing and I always feel fresh after I have done them. I give my brain time off from real life if even for thirty minutes.

I stretch as often I can throughout the day. When I stress I get tight all over so little stretches here and there really help including my hands and arms. I usually take a few more deep breathes during stretching as well. I do all I can to be calm at all times.

My last stress reducer is what I call visualizing. When I am struggling through something or if I am so stressed out I cannot think I visualize what it will look like when I solve the problem. I need to see it before it happens so I can take comfort in the fact it will be solved. If you feel hopeless then you will continue to build stress. Sit down and see the resolve and work out the details ahead of time. You will be surprised how effective this will become for you.

These are just a few gems I use to reduce stress. I use whatever I can to keep bad stress away. I know it is fatal and I eliminate everywhere I can. You can eliminate a lot of stress if you start focusing on eliminating it. As I complete this article I feel the stress flying away from me as writing is also a stress reducer for me.

Reflections: Living every day with passion

I love my life as it is full of great surprises. I have a genuine love for life as I take strength in the power of who I am and what I want to be. In looking back on my life that has not always been the case. I had so much to give but was just missing something. I had no idea that there could ever be more to life than what I was living. I had people around me who seemed to be in the same mindset. We were all just living. From people I worked with to people I played softball with just seemed to be going through the motions. I really knew no better until one day I finally discovered what I had been missing. I was missing one key element in my life that would change it forever. What I discovered was that i was missing passion in my life! I was really non-existent before the day I discovered it. It has been a process but there was definitely a turning point in my life when I finally said that I am going to live everyday to the fullest I can reach for. I am going to love what I do and who I am. Thank goodness something finally woke me up and fueled my life. In finding my Passion I started becoming more aware of who was around me and how they affected me. The more I noticed the more I wanted to help so I started out on a mission. I have been a business owner for a long time and I have noticed over the years that there are a lot of people out there just going through the motions. They just do not seem to light up a room when they enter. I know they have the ability to but for some reason they just choose not to as if they are not empowered to. I watch them and I observe them and know they have potential. I just wish i could show them a DVD about where I came from. I too was one of them and lacked luster for all I did. I too was just going through the motions and I just wish they could see a different side. When I was younger I would want so much out of life. I enjoyed my life no matter where I was at. I had great times and bad but looking back I saw no real difference. I lacked very real understandings of why I came across people that had such peace in their heart and an extra skip to their walk. I was just living my life as I knew fit. Thank goodness for me I had a lot of drive that would eventually push me to something bigger in life. I found the fountain of youth and the keys to the gold. I feel so radiant with a charge in my voice and a glow to my heart. I have a force field around me that can be felt for miles. I love writing this article in the hopes that I can inspire one at a time. I live with passion daily and I hope I can share it with you. What would it take to get you springing out of bed daily? What would it take to get you all the energy in the world to accomplish all you want out of your life? I believe that the answer is most definitely passion. The question you are probably thinking is, "what is passion and what can it do for me?" Passion is living with your heart and mind wide open and loving every minute of it. Passion is knowing what you should be doing in life and actually living it. Passion is having a romance with yourself and loving yourself. Passion is having the courage to let it fly and enjoy the experience. Once you find passion then you can define it for yourself. I do not get to do that for you as when you find passion you will know it. Passion gives me a warm feeling and a confidence inside. I really cannot give you a straight forward answer on what passion is. I know I have it and I have witnessed it in other people. It is the smile on someone's face for no reason and it is drive in the guy next door for his career. Passion is about living in the moment with no regrets. How is passion found then if you don't have it now? The first piece of advice I have for you is learn to live life on your own terms. Become the dictator of your life and dreams and control your destiny. Do not give up power to anyone in this area of your life. Figure out what would be a great life for you and make it start happening. Have guidelines that you live by that equates to your best life. You will be so surprised how fast your life will turn around if you do this. I have so much more energy for what I do each and every day now. I do so much in my daily life but have no regrets ever in it. I live my life to the fullest always. The second piece of advice I have for you is find out what you love. To have passion in your life, you must love what you do and enjoy doing it. You will find that you will skip to the beat of your own drum if you do this. For me I realized I love teaching and inspiring so I have built a life plan around it. The last piece of advice is spread the word about who you are. Let your light shine on those around you and let them feel the passion pouring out of your soul. The more people feel the passion, the more you will feel it. Passion builds on itself and multiplies exponentially. Encourage others to live a passionate life that you live with and hang around with. You will enjoy it even more this way. Share what you learn so it reminds you of why you live this way. Successful and happy people congregate together. They know that the health of their mind depends on it and do not take chances with it. In looking back on my life I was never as happy as I am now. I know I can make a difference and I know that I love who I am and what I do daily. I want to spread the word to everyone I meet and help them find their passion in life. I hope you will join me in my mission to live your fullest life now. Look back at your life one day and have no regrets for you will not get back this day ever.

Get out of debt: A step by step guide

Like many things in life that you want to be successful in, you need to make a plan on getting out of debt. There is no one way to do it but I have comprised a step by step guide to give you an idea of how I went about it. It was 100% effective for me but your results may vary. Keep in mind that you need discipline to execute these steps and methods. The problem with that is probably what you lacked to get in debt to begin with. You do not need to worry though as we can start today disciplining ourselves to a debt free or a more debt free life.

My philosophies on what I consider bad debt is debt that is non-productive or that makes no sense paying off. Paying off your house makes no sense unless you want to. At today’s interest rates and with the tax advantages having the debt of your home is OK. Debt that you have used for business purpose is OK for the short haul. Do not have guilt over this debt. Car payments under 8-10% are not bad either. Everything else should probably go. I call this bad debt and we want to eliminate it so we can use our money more effectively. The following is my step by step guide to getting out of debt:

1. Cut up your retail credit cards. They have too high of an interest rate and they are designed to keep you coming back for more. Buy from those stores with cash. Do not get sucked in by getting 10% off today if you open a card because they will get it right back in interest rates.

2. Take one bill at a time and pay more on it. Pay the minimum on the rest. Pay those bills of one at a time until they are all gone. Do not look at the other bills while you are doing this or it may discourage you. Focus only on the one you want to pay off. Send in the minimums on the rest.

3. If you have a medical bill you are paying off you can negotiate a cheaper rate with the hospital. A lot of times they will reduce the debt to a reasonable amount for you. You may also qualify for state help if you are really poor. Check with the hospital billing office for details.

4. If you are behind with your utilities call them up and get put on a payment plan. If you stick to it they will work with you. You can also do this to help you pay off high interest credit cards faster. I like to call it the float. I float bills all the time when I want to pay off something else faster.

5. Go to the grocery store and take a list and a budget. Groceries can blow a budget out of the water quicker than anything. Do not go over your limit.

6. You can pay your credit cards, house payment and car payments twice a month to your creditors. You still pay the same price but it stops the interest once the first payment is received. For instance if you pay $1,000.00 a month on your house, send in $500.00 on the first and $500.00 on the fifteenth. This will reduce your debt quicker. Do not take no for an answer as the credit companies do not want you doing this.

7. Do not pay late fees. get your payments in on time. Do not give away money to needless things.

8. Work off a budget and stick to it. If you over spend one month then you will need to make up for it in the months to come so you can balance out at the end of the year.

9. Lower the interest rate on any debt you can. Use lower credit cards to wipe out debt from higher cards, etc. The higher the rate the more you will pay.

10. Take out spending money ahead of time at the beginning of the week and stick to it. also brown bag it as much as possible. Bringing lunch is way cheaper than buying it.

Control your spending and pay off your debt quickly. Get great satisfaction in every debt you wipe away

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Reflections: Fear

When I grew up, my life was my own but it took me sometime to realize that. I had fear about everything that I felt I had no say so in. I felt I was dealt a short hand in life. My mother divorced when I was 4 and my father played no active role in my life. At some short point we would move to a rough neighborhood in Los Angeles. By seven years old I was running the streets. I had a home but mother worked two jobs. I often kidded I was her third job. By seven years old I was fighting in the streets like no kid should. By 12 years old I had concussions several times, stitches, bruises and broken bones. What I was fearing was being alive by the age of eighteen so I could graduate high school. This too was my mom’s fear as she would cry several nights over it.

My daily life was not right. I have always been a big boy and needless to say as white as can be. The neighborhood I grew up in was other races I was not. They just seemed to love me. Love to hurt me, fight me or spit on me. At first I lost every fight. I was by all accounts a real wimp. Unfortunately or fortunately, I started winning at some point. I am now a grown adult in my thirties and know people who have never been hit or in a fight. Me on the other hand I have been in over 200, most before I was even in high school. When I say a fight I mean from fists to baseball bats to golf clubs. Many of the boys who wanted to hurt me traveled in packs. I don't recall much getting beat up by one person. It always seemed like three or better. Life has a way of hardening you and I was definitely getting there by fourth grade. It got so bad that one day I was angry with this boy Louis that I kicked him as hard as I could which took a clip board and went through his lips. He would be scarred for life and I wouldn't even flinch because he had tried to punk me. This is a term used when you run the streets. Now it means something else but either way why do I know it? I am in elementary school for heaven's sake. Is this normal to others?

At some point we would move to a town called Downey where I would end up graduating from but by this point in life the streets are deeply imbedded in me. You can take me out of the streets but you just can't seem to take the streets out of me. I wasn't there 3 days when I was fighting and getting trouble. I was still getting in fights with multiple kids except this time they are of the same ethnicity. I am confused as why do these people not like me? I just can't win. Here is where the real fear comes in my story.

For the next ten years I continue on with my life living like I still have to protect myself but I really don't anymore. I live in a nice neighborhood and have nicer things and better people to be around yet I still continued on with my tactics. I then graduate from high school still looking at the world like my battle grounds. The difference becomes though I am now an adult and getting in trouble fast. What I really started fearing was, will I end up with a horrible life because I will not change? My motto became at a young age that I will hit you before you hit me! My motto at 20 was I will hit you before you hit me! At 27 my motto was I will hit you before you hit me! I was afraid that it will never stop. Even when I was right, I was wrong because I became so aggressive. I had to in order to survive the life I was living yet I never realized I could stop it. Finally like a lot of lessons in life I learned that I had all the power and strength that I needed to do what I needed to do. Nine years later I am way more laid back. I still have that tiger in me but it has been tamed to the point where I pick and choose when I need to be aggressive. I will never be walked on or ran over but I am way more sophisticated about defending myself. The fear was real in me for a long time that I was never going to change. I would lie up late at nights with a pit in my stomach. I knew life wasn't that violent I had just never lived it. My mother was kind and loving and so was the rest of my family but I was a terror on wheels just waiting for you to attack me so I could pounce on you quicker than you could ever even think about it. I was always planning and looking for escape routes in case you cornered me. I looked at everything around me in case I needed a weapon. I trusted no one and was not trust worthy.

I often wondered if I traded away my youth for survival. If I were to show you a picture of me as a child I would look innocent but the real flesh was a different story. I felt at the time that I was a product of my environment yet now I know I was a product of my fear. I probably didn’t need to do half of what I did but I made the choices I did. I hid in dumpsters and bushes. I got suspended from school so many times I couldn’t give you a real number. I cried because I was scared and I cried because I was angry. Childhood was supposed to be innocent and graduating high school should have been exciting but instead I was living in fear and denial. I was big but I could run. I was fearful of so many yet feared no one.

Fear is deep in everyone's heart. Fear can drive you or it can hold you down like a ton of bricks. Let what has made you weak in the past make you strong again as you were intended to be. I now know I am not on the street and that I can act and be who I want to be. Life is a gift that I have been given and I want to cherish every moment of it. I will no longer fear that I can’t change because I have done it so many times. Overcoming this fear is what has led me to so many more changes.

Where can faith be found?

I do not believe that faith is found in a building. Faith is not delivered in a confessional box or by a man in it. Faith has never been beaten into a person or forced upon a child. Children just know that God is real or that the tooth ferry will visit or the Easter Bunny will come during the night. Children know the secret that faith must be found in your heart each and every day. I do not know if you are a Christian or a Buddhist but I do know that if you are ever going to find faith it will start deep in your heart and grow from there.

I do not remember the first time I heard about God but I believe it was somewhere around four years old. We grew up Catholic and were taught about God from the very beginning of life. Grandmother and grandfather had a taste in their mouth that was as sweet as melon for the Lord and it was defiantly passed down through our generations. When I was a child I did not know any better but to believe in God. I had no reason to fight it but I am not sure it was ever deep in my heart as it became one day. I was saved in a parking lot by my youth minister. His name was Chet and I had decided that it was time I fully except God into my heart. It was tough as there I was sitting in a Jack n the box parking lot amongst walking by spectators. I would have never been able to do that without my faith and love for God. From that moment on I learned a lot about myself. Faith is not just about faith in God but about believing in things I can’t necessarily see or touch. If I was ever going to get somewhere in life I would have to do just as I did that day in the parking lot. Open my heart and find the faith I need to get to my goals and dreams and through my struggles. My life is always about God but faith is always about my heart.

Do you believe in Santa Clause? If only you had that much faith in others including yourself. Faith is a great thing to have and enjoy because we seem to forget the magic it can produce it our life. Faith can ignite millions to act and believe in something bigger than them. Our world today is falling short on faith and I hope and pray that we somehow find it again in our daily lives. I love the idea of Santa Clause at it is the time of the year when so many forget what they can’t do and they believe in the magic of giving. Christmas is not about presents. It is about family, and thinking of others and mystical lights that create a fantasy. It is about the faith we have that no matter what Christmas will be special.

Faith can be found all around you if you are looking for it. Your children have faith you will feed them and keep them safe. Many have faith the police will protect them. I have faith that the Dodgers will win the World Series. Many have faith in their spiritual leaders to guide them. What do you have faith in and why? The reason probably is because you just know it in your heart that you can believe in them. My guidance is the Lord. You may have another spiritual guidance but ultimately it is your heart that guides you to that point in faith that says I believe and I will follow.

I am always trying to get people in my businesses to just have a little faith and realize something great can be accomplished. This is such a tough thing to get across to people as they have so many reasons why somethi8ng will not work out. The problem is that they are usually right because they have no faith. I believe that if you start having faith it builds as time goes on. The more you have faith, the more faith you will gain. I have faith that this article will touch someone and make a huge difference in their life.

The link between money and happiness

Money is no different than anything else in life. You decide how money makes you feel. Tying emotion to it is decided by the individual. I do not think money buys you happiness unless you decide it does. I also do not believe that money is the root of all evil unless that is your mindset. I will explore the difference to both of these attitudes and what we can do to decide how we will feel about money.

Money since the beginning of time has come in many forms for many countries. Gold always seems to be the king of currency since forever. If you want the best example to figure out about the link to money and happiness this would be it. Gold is shiny and is heavy. It is a mysterious metal that is not just laying around everywhere. It is hard to get but makes many smile. We are emotional about gold as currency or as jewelry. The flip side is some people have no opinion about gold at all except that it is a necessary evil. As human beings we stimulate our brain to decide what money means to us. When we have it, we send a chemical response to our brain that excites us. When we are lacking it, we generally send a negative response to our brain. Either way the choice is ours. What would stop you from sending a negative reaction to your brain if you are lacking funds? Think about it, you have the option of that being negative or positive. You get to decide. Do not fool yourself about this. You have the power, not me, or the bill collector, or government. You are the one in charge of this.

When we have enough money, we say to yourself, “I am happy, I feel safe and secure and I can spend extra money!" When you are broke you say to yourself, “I am uptight, I am frustrated, and I feel insecure!" I am not suggesting that you ever jump for joy about being broke but you can have a much different attitude about it. You also have the right to attach negative thoughts and have negative attitude towards money. The choice is all yours. Money is not an object that has any more power than what you assign to it. Do not give up any power than you do not want to money. What needs to happen is that you first discover how you feel about money and then determine how you want to feel about it. Then you need to live it.

I am often surprised how people feel so controlled by money and come up with so many urban legends or mottos about money. These are usually passed down from generation to generation. You probably feel about money how your parents did. If your thoughts are healthy then you should keep them. If they are unhealthy then maybe you should reevaluate them and change them.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Teaching kids about money management

I grew up in the 70's and 80's where money talk at the dinner table was definitely taboo. Financial education in our house was done in a very peculiar way. I would say, "can I have a new baseball glove?" My parents reply would be, " do we look like qwe are made of money?" I then proceeded to get slapped as I said, "no, you aren't green but a pale shade of pink!" That was about the top lesson in money management I ever received at home. I knew two things clearly. One is that I wanted things. Two, was we didn't have the money for those things. Money management is a weird thing as to have money, you need to know how to manage it. To not have money, is hard to manage. All joking aside, my mother taught me to pay my bills, balance my check book, and never pay anything late. I loved my mother dearly, but in retrospect this should have been just one small lesson in a succession of lessons. If we are ever going to have a great society we need to turn things around in educating our children about money management.

My perspective comes from being poor growing up. I was blessed to have a spirit of wanting so it pushed me to find a way to earn money. That was the easy part. The hard part was I never learned money management until about 8 years ago. I wonder the possibilities had I actually been taught it as a child? Oh well, no looking back in regret but I will learn from it. We defiantly talk about money at the dinner table often n my house. I work on keeping my children innocent but not naive. I will not spout out one liners like, "pay your bills, and credit cards are bad." This doesn't tell them anything useful and what it would seem to be is a scare tactic by me. This will only lead to rebellion on their parts and when they find out what I mean, it will be too late. We talk about business, and loans, and how wealthy we are. We talk about struggles, what is a check book, why you need credit. There is not much we will not discuss even with the six year old. Children are like sponges when they are real young so do not be afraid. You will be surprised what they will learn. My children live a pretty good life where they go without very little but mostly everything is earned. I do not believe in allowances but paying for their keep and giving bonuses. They have chores and special tasks to try and teach them what it takes to live in this world. Waiting until eighteen is a recipe for disaster. Tell them and teach them now when they will not be hurt by learning.

I have noticed today that the twenty somethings want everything now and do not want to earn it. They want to be CEO without any training and their goal setting is at an all time low for the past several generations. I would suspect that even with the Internet around, they have been given so little in money management or financial planning period. It is not too late but it is going to be hard to correct. What we should do is make sure if you have children that you take the time to have a talk about money. If you are money illiterate then seek out help. There are many out there who can help you in the education of your kids in money management. Do not fear the unknown as once you start you will be so happy by what gets achieved very quickly. There is so much ignorance in the world when it comes to money management. Is it any coincidence that 10% of the people hold 90% of the money? Wait, it is actually now 9% or so. We need to turn this around before we collapse as a society. The poor will uprise one day and over throw because of lack of money. This isn't bizarre as it has happened several times in history. The best investment we can make is to teach our children. Help us all out by giving them good lessons in money management. Don't make the mistakes my parents made. I know they loved me but they didn't know better. After you have read this article though, you have no excuse!

Why can't I be rich?

This is probably a really simple answer that may be hard to correct for you. Everyone who lives in this country has the same opportunity to become rich. A very select few are actually born into real riches and don't have to work. For the rest of us we will have to go out and make it happen. There is no age limit. I have seen it happen at 16 years old and it has happened at 65 years old. The reason you may not be able to be rich is because you may have never been taught how to be rich. You were probably taught by your mom and dad, who in turn were taught by there mom and dad. Being rich is a state of mind. In the book by Robert Kyosaki called Rich Dad Poor Dad, he writes a simple story about two kids. One has the rich dad, who is a business man. The other kid's dad is poor dad who is highly educated and has a good job. The book tells the tale about the American dream and how two people set out in life trying to make a life for themselves and their family. What you end up discovering in the story is that one works for money(the poor dad) and one has money work for him(the rich dad)In order to be rich, you have to think rich.

If you are to become rich, you must start with this question. How much money do I need to become rich? Can you imagine such a large number in your bank account? What would 5 million dollars look like? How big of a stack of one hundred dollar bills would it be? My definition of rich is, how many days can I go without working? I am still getting up and going to work so I need to think bigger and work less. Think about this thought I am about to pose to you. Have you ever know someone with money? Getting real riches start out hard but as you begin to build wealth, you discover you need to do less. Rich people figure out a way to make more money and do less getting it! Wait a minute. You are sitting there dead on your feet after your 12 hour day, exhausted. Were you not told to work hard and save and you can have a rich life? Do the right thing, obey the law, love what you do and everything will work out? You went to college and got a degree. This was supposed to be what I needed to make big money. What happened to all my riches? The answer is you got what you worked for. You work hard, you got a hard life. You went to college; you got a good job and a gold watch after 30 years. Does any of this make sense to you?

Think about how money works. You can work for one year and put $40,000.00 in the bank but you can spend $40,000.00 in about 2 seconds with one key stroke. If you kill yourself day in and day out to make money, it will never match up to how money works. Money needs to work for you and not against you. Spread that money out and get it working. Learn new ways of investing and compounding it. Figure out every way you can to put money away so it will grow. I do not believe in the Millionaire next door theory. The idea is to live a frugal life so at the end you can have a short life with riches. I do not want to work until 65 and then have some money to retire on, and find out 6 months later I have cancer and then die. I want to enjoy my daily life, living great, all the while I am building wealth. I will have a good life now and a even better one in 10 years when I retire.

Dream big and reach high should be your motto. Start following a game plan to get your riches. You need to have an investment strategy. Implement your goals, and then chase your dreams. Remember the biggest part to you reaching your riches is education about money. You will need to start all over and learn how to make money work for you. Learn investment strategies of the rich. Get a financial adviser who understands the same. Turn your financial world upside down and become rich. If you are asking yourself why can't I be rich, then you are in trouble. Ask yourself instead, why can't I be rich? This will motivate you to get the answer. You can be rich, just start moving.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Starting a business: Working with family members

I wanted to just tell him to stop acting like an immature man and grow up, but I couldn’t because he was my cousin. I know I should but instead I am worried about the way he will feel. I feel confused about this as it is against everything I know. I decided a long time ago never to sugar coat things. Be direct is the best thing I can do for my people and yet here I am. Seconds feel like hours right now as I feel like I am in a fog. Something is not right as I am not feeling myself. What had happened to me? I go to open my mouth again and just tell him how it was and the way it needed to be. Nothing, once again I just smile and crack a joke. Now time slows even more. I am also getting warm and feel like I am choking inside. This is not what I want to do or the way I want to run the company. What is the problem with telling him? He needs to hear it as he is just not looking at things right. He also is taking advantage of us being family. Not in a bad way but he seems to feel it gives him a sense of right. Tell him now or you will suffocate and die. “Ok then, I will see you later” and he drives off to home. I had failed him and myself. The company and others would suffer because of it. I am strong as a leader but I was weak with him. This is a huge mistake and I need to grow up myself and deal with it like a professional. When we are at work, we are business. We are not family and I have said that a million times. We need to keep that straight, after all it’s not like we are fighting or messing around. We seem to be working on the same page for the most part but we are definitely missing this though. I will correct this somehow immediately. It is best for everyone.

The next day I arrived to find my cousin in the same mess he was in yesterday. I asked if I could speak with him and I told him he needed to change his mindset and mature in what he was doing. His eyes grew tighter and his chest had puffiness to it. He was visibly disturbed by what I had said. He looked at me and said,” You don’t know what you are talking about!” I said to him that if we are ever going to get somewhere in this, he needed to be more open and be willing to take criticism. He was angry but yet after we talked for awhile he felt better and so did I.

Everyone has a family horror story in business as well as good stories too. What I have had is really a bit of both. I trust my cousin and I love working with him. He has also been tough to teach and train but overall he is no different than anyone else who works for me and with me. The worst part is I have found myself worrying more about us being cousins than our business prospering and growing. His actions were too complacent as I believe subconsciously he was not worrying about me as his leader or manager but instead he was dealing with me as family. I am not saying he was out for bad or trying to harm the company directly but we both had participated in an unhealthy business relationship. Business 101 is that no matter what, it is business. Business 102 is that no matter what, say it like it is and do not sugar coat it. I do not believe in setting up with cream before I nail you with the pie. “Oh you have been very good and improving. I have really enjoyed your attitude, but I am writing you up because you have been late way too much!” I think this is a horrible way to manage and I will not do it. Well, except with my cousin evidentially

We have since moved past this problem and are on to new ones, but just like this issue we will find a way to make it through them I hope. Working with family is a tough situation even when it is rewarding I feel that if you stick to the way I have stated above there will be less problems. Even when you are family there can be only one captain flying the plane. Decide who that is and then come to an agreement who will say it like is and who will respond back accordingly. Life is too short. Get all you can from it and working with family can be a great experience!

Never give up: How to keep your dreams alive

Dreams are a lot like chopping fire wood. If you keep looking at every piece you chop it will seem like a life time until you are warm. Know your goal upfront, have a plan and keep chopping looking back occasionally. After a while, you will have enough wood for the winter. I use wood chopping to point out many things in life. I always struggled with chopping the wood, but always enjoyed a nice warm fire when it was 20 degrees outside and snowing. Can you imagine what would happen if you gave up chopping fire wood because it was hard or tiresome? If that is your only heat, you will freeze to death. This is not an option and neither is giving up on your dreams.

There are many ideas and techniques out there that people use to keep on track. The best thing I do in my daily life is envision what it will be like when my dreams come true. I cannot imagine my life before I had dreams and the drive to pursue them. It must have been horrible as I would have had no hope. I love chasing my dreams every day. They seem impossible but I know that if I just keep chopping, I will get there. I stay convicted that I will achieve them. I am certain and no one can tell me different. I must guard them continually so that no one will talk me out of them or sway me. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to a young girl in a store. I go in there all the time and we had started to talk more. She told me she was working 3 jobs on one accassion. I was impressed. She also told me she was going to school to be a wedding planner. Again, I was impressed with her drive and determination. She then proceeded to tell me she wants to plan and run weddings of $100,000.00 plus. I laughed a bit and quickly caught myself. I was laughing as I could tell this girl was hardworking but unrealistic and shooting way high out of the gate. Yet I know I shouldn't try to knock her down with my insensitiveness about her dreams. After all she was determined, and had very specific goals. Who am I to give a chuckle at her adolescence or immaturity? Luckily she did not pick up on what I had done. I knew better and had guilt on my heart for days after.

What would you do if you didn't keep your dreams alive? Will you be able to get out of bed with the same conviction every morning? What would your thoughts be about? I would not know what I would do as every day I am excited to keep marching towards my dreams and goals. I love the excitement of living my dreams. Recently, I had a thought about great people in history of all countries. What would our world look like today if these people had never dreamed? Would there be space exploration? Would we have civilized government? Who would be the rich and who would be the poor? Would the internet even be a reality? I know life would exist but what kind of life? I got all tense and uptight so I stop thinking about such travesties. I like living in my dreams and I have hope so does everyone else. Dreams give strength to the poor and disadvantaged. They help a proper man act like a kid. Dreams built Disney Land and inspired the Beetles.

Maybe you are sitting there defeated right now as your dreams seem hopeless. Maybe you even feel like a failure, but the only failure will be is if you don't keep your dreams alive. There is an answer, keep on going. Talk yourself into one more round. Find what it will take and see if something new will get you back on track. Seek out someone who has been there and get their advice and expertise. Do not just sit there with pity on your mind. Stand up and seek out your dreams. No one could knock me off course with a ton of bricks and a Mack Truck! I am resolved in my quests. I will achieve my dreams one way or another and I am thankful for the fighting spirit I have. You can do it as I believe in you. You must also believe in yourself first! Remember; do not give up on your dreams as you may be one moment away from achieving them!

The difference between bad debt and good debt

I like to think that I have two kinds of debt. Bad debt, which I put on my retail credit card, and good debt which is a visa card I used to invest in a start up business. A long time ago, I had to claim bankruptcy, or at least that is what I thought at the time. In looking back on that situation I discovered three things. One is that I didn't have one good piece of debt on the Bankruptcy form. The second thing I learned is that I really didn't need to claim bankruptcy. The last thing I learned is very important is that if I had managed my debt to begin with I would have never got to the point that I did. Let's focus first on what I mean by bad debt.

Bad debt is debt that generally drags you down. It is a self prison that you put yourself into. The scenario goes like this, “wow that is a great deal! I really do not have the money though. Oh, I can put it on my retail credit card! I can make payments on the camera. It is the latest and greatest camera, I just have to have it. The best part is that I only have to make payments of $15.00 a month on it.” The problem is that by the time you pay off that camera, not only is it no longer on sale(by way of all the interest you paid- probably 23%) there is also a good chance you will no longer have the camera. Either way you have to get up and go to work to pay for it. You have no choices to make at that point! Bad debt usually comes with buyer’s remorse as it was a whole lot of fun for a day or two then all the romance goes away. What was once new is now old and it doesn't derive the same feelings for you anymore. Also, you suddenly see Bill and he has the latest and greatest camera now and it does twice the cool stuff yours does. How can he afford that? I remember my brother bought some really cool tires and rims when I was younger for his four by four. Six months into them, the truck was stolen. His insurance did not cover them but he still had to pay his debt! I thought at 14 how ridiculous this was! What I should have thought was, how ridiculous this was my brother did this to himself! He was a smart guy but today I know he made a poor debt decision! Bad debt is not productive. For instance, charging a new computer for your home use is not necessarily productive. Charging a new computer for your business is. Debt used for consumption is a luxury. Debt used for business is a necessity! You are building something and enjoying the write off. Let's look more at good debt.

Good debt is still stressful but if you are smarter about it, you are managing it. Good debt allows you some freedoms that bad debt will never allow. If debt is used to increase your productivity at the office or invest in something with a large potential return, then you may be on the beach somewhere reaping the rewards. Good debt usually provides tax relief or can allow tax relief. Good debt usually comes with a sense of satisfaction and the joy of it can return a thousand fold. The newness can wear down but you smile every time you think about what it is doing for you or your business. Good debt rarely comes with buyer's remorse after the purchase. Good debt will increase your net worth in what you are trying to achieve. Good debt is usually tied to production of a business or personal finances.

For your home uses that are consumer product driven, I suggest paying cash. Once you have bought it you own it. For business or financial purposes, it is ok to use debt to make money. Using other people's money at a small price is smart. Why tie up your own cash if you don't have to. Do not get sucked in by retailers who make it so attractive to open up a charge card and even give you a discount on that first purchase. Research has shown that once they get you started on charging, you will continue. Be stronger and be smarter in how you deal with your debt as the rewards are great. I hate charging anything I will eat, sit on, sleep on, or watch that is located in my home. I do not mind charging or financing anything for my business if it is a necessity for making more money. Your dollars will actually go further if you pay cash for bad debt items and charge or finance good debt items. Have a visa and a million dollar idea? Why not take a chance and put your card to work?

Testimonies: Unexpected death

I am not sure if death is ever expected, which is bizarre if you think about it because we are dying from the minute we are born! I also wonder is death ever timely? As I sit here writing, I am trying to imagine when my death would be timely and I just cannot settle on when that would be. I am a Christian and I have my beliefs in Heaven and God, but I still cannot think of a time in which it would be OK to die.

On December 28, 2006, I experienced an untimely and unexpected death. I was not ready for it on many levels. I was in shock once it occurred and have been recovering from it ever since. The unexpected death I am speaking about was my mother. I never expected her to die after all she was one of the main reasons I was ever alive. I owe her everything so I did not want her to ever die. I know this is selfish but even as a mature man I did not feel I should have ever expected her departure. We had a bond that was never suppose to depart. I loved her unconditionally and have ache since the day she took her last breath. The emotions I have experienced have been overwhelming to me. I keep my emotions under control pretty well but her unexpected death has obviously taken me by surprise. How will I ever deal with her death is hard to imagine right now. My birthday, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas have all passed without her here. I am struggling to pick a time when it would have been best for her to die but I am coming up short. She was needed in every month and in every situation. I need her now as I write this article to consult with her. If I pick up the phone and dial her number a stranger answers as her number has been recycled like her ashes into the earth. Her death is not needed at all during any minute of my life yet I would have never wanted her to have to bury me. That definitely would have been unexpected.

My mother lived with many health issues. She had congestive heart problems, Diabetes, Gout and other issues along the way. She survived 19 years in turmoil where most would have given in. Mother needed to die as it was unfair to her to keep suffering. She was not very old - 61 - but either way she was in a lot of pain. I celebrate her bravery as I can only imagine what she must have been feeling daily. I am selfish in my thoughts as I still wish she was here next me. She lived over a thousand miles away and yet we were neighbors. Daily phone calls and emails, letters and cards were a regular ritual with us. My birthday is in a few days and how I wish a card was coming in the mail. How did this happen? Why am I such a child still trapped in this man's body? Am I normal to be so selfish in my head? I am reluctant to even write about my thoughts for fear of being chastised or judged for such immature feelings. I never knew a life without her. She has always been as I got into fights, feared failure, graduated, got married, and had kids and every holiday. There were no before memories for me, only for her.

As my mother takes her last breath I realize this is it for us here on earth. It also becomes very dramatically clear to me that this too will be the fate of my three children one day. They too will experience unexpected death. How will they deal with this event in their life? Will it be timely for them? I would take a guess and say probably not. I do not think that anyone is ever going to be OK with death's timing that is left behind. I do believe that those who pass are expecting death to arrive, especially if they are very elderly or have serious illness or health issues. Death becomes comforting to those in pain. Sometimes for people in this state in life death is not timely enough for them as when you suffer for so long it gets tiring.

The death of my mother is tragic to me and was definitely not on my agenda for that day. I have made peace with it but still long for her motherly ways of days gone by. I wish we could rewind but that is foolish. If I ever figure out when her death would have been expected I will write another story called, “when I expected death of my mother!"

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/ 

Stop making excuses!

Thank goodness someone has finally said this out loud, even if it is me. Stop making excuses is what I am always telling people and thinking daily. You know what I am talking about don't you? You know the people who always have a great laundry list of reasons why this is not right, and that is not right, because people are always taking advantage of me. I can never get anywhere because of the government and the red tape, or my family was poor growing up. I never had a chance because I had a bad child life or my father abandoned me. Hold on, stop right there with al of that. My real father was horrible and my step father was an alcoholic but I still had the choice to choose my path. Are these people trying to sell to the rest of us that their life was predetermined from birth? This is like believing in Astrological signs that determine who you are by the date you were born. I would find this extremely depressing and helpless to know no matter what I do, my life has already been seen in the stars or because we were poor. What a hope less life you would have with no right of correction. Stop making excuses is the first place to start.

If you haven't realized it, excuses are just an OK for you not to do well or follow through on things. They are a 300lb weight of a reason in your 100 pound world. If you realize that you are excusing your life away then maybe you will stop making excuses. Excuses stop you from working. They stop you from thinking and trying. Excuses fill your head with impossibilities instead of possibilities. Will you at least consider that for every excuse you have that you have 3 reasons why you will not achieve or do something.This is powerful to realize as it can set you free. Will not understand that you are giving yourself permission to be OK with where things are at because there is a reason or excuse for it. I grew up poor and I found a way to make great money. My parents had polar opposite mindsets than me about business and money yet I found a way to make my own thoughts and have several profitable businesses. My excuse used to be we were poor and I was never taught anything different. I would have been OK with that excuse for self pity but I chose different. It fueled my fire. I wanted to be more than my parents were so i started reading about successful people and how they succeeded. I a=gave myself a chance by listening to other points of view. I now hope my children will be more than me. I hope that whatever crutch we are giving them they will choose not to use it. Do not OK your excuses ever. Put an end to excepting the status quo in this area of your life. Misery loves company and there are plenty of people out there who will join you in misery. The world is full of excuses.

So what can we do about the excuses in our life. What I know is this: Don't make excuses. Instead understand why you are where you are. Second, figure out a way to change your situation. Come up with a game plan and fight any urges to rely on any reasons. Lastly, do not allow yourself to blame anyone. Even if your situation is as horrible as rape or mugging or death of someone close to you, do not use that as a reason for anything. I know it is hard and you may be very traumatized by your situation. You will need to heal but when you do find a way out of this problem from occurring again and again. You can still have a very great life in spite of the horrific experience.

Please now join me in my way of life and stop the excuses from happening in your life as I have done in mine. If I meet you in life and I here a woe is me story from your mouth, just know I feel sorry for you. I will be thinking in my head that if this person only know what a sorry excuse that is they'd feel ridiculous.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

How to save time and money on your remodeling project

When it comes to saving money on your remodeling project, there is good money to pay your contractor, and there is bad money to pay your contractor. By referring to bad money I am not insinuating that the contractor is ripping you off, nor am I suggesting that it is a waste of money. When you are paying a contractor, there are things they are skilled at and there is somethings anyone can do. Pay your contractor well for what he is skilled at and take care of those things that you can do yourself. Good money is areas you do not even want to attempt to take on yourself. It is not even worth it to try. The contractor is a professional that does his/her job everyday and it takes time to acquire the skills that are needed. Unless you plan on being a contractor, do not invest your time in doing more than you are.

The following is a suggestive list on how to save a minimum of $300.00 to $500.00 on your remodeling project:

1. Take care of ordering and acquiring all of the materials for your job. Contractors can not  and will not do anything for free. When they deal with the materials for your job, they charge you for ordering your materials and they also charge a mark up. Most mark ups are anywhere from 14% to 40% above the cost. Order your own materials. Negotiate better material costs with suppliers and have it all delivered to your site.
2. Take care of all of the tear out on the job site that you can do. Tear out is not brain surgery but is time consuming and back breaking. Don't pay big dollars for labor work. If you are willing to do it, have fun. I love to tear things out.
3. Go out and get 3 bids. Choose the contractor that you like the most and seems the most confident and knowledgeable. Then go to two of there other bids and see how low you can get them to go. Once they send you a revision, take it to the contractor you like and see if he/she will lower their bid. The worst they will tell you is no. Good contractors will not sell on price so be prepared.
4. Take care of all of the clean up on the job site. Negotiate this up front with the contractor. Make sure you do a good job and you will also keep accidents down.
5. Do all the leg work on getting permits and calling in inspections. Have a designer do your drawings and you submit them. Paying labor costs of $70.00 plus dollars and hour for this is insane if you have the time to do it and want to save money. It is a process, so be prepared to have patience.
6. Give your contractor an incentive to get the job done quicker. I know this seems counterproductive to you, trying to save money, but it has been provened that the longer a job goes on, the more change orders can come up. Get them in and get them out.
7. Do your own priming and painting. Priming is easy as it is just a sealer. Painting is difficult because the homeowner is usually picky. If you are doing the painting, the contractor doesn't have to worry.
8. Have refreshments and snacks on the job site. This will keep them more productive and on your job site as much as possible. Hence your job will get done quicker.
9. Take care of hauling all the debris off of the job site as this too will get a mark up in price from the contractor.
10. Be cooperative as much as possible so you can help accommodate getting the job done efficiently with your contractor.

From the moment you meet with the perspective contractors, set their minds at ease about you. Contractors aren't dumb as they build in pain in the butt charges for difficult customers. Be humble and sensitive to this. Realize the contractor is on your team. Good contractors choose their clients and will generally raise their prices or not do the work at all if you even have a hint of unreasonable. Also, try negotiating shorter warranty periods so they will lower their costs. Most break downs or deficient work happens in the first six months or less. Don't make them worry about a year or longer. Have a consultant work with you on the project to inspect the work as it goes to protect your interest. This will also build trust with the contractor.

Most contractors are worried about frivolous lawsuits. Agree upfront to mandatory arbitration as the sole means for settling any discrepencies. This process is much cleaner, more efficient and less cumbersome. This will allow the contractor to release some funds your way to cut costs for you. Remember if you don't ask, you will not get it. Enjoy the experience and start figuring out what you will do with all the money you will be saving.

Accepting responsibility for your own work

I know as I read this title that it must be a story about the days gone bye. In a world rapidly changing, I do not see this happen too often anymore. I wish I could to tell you that I am sixty plus years old but I am not. I am half that but was brought up with what is called old school mentality. I was taught by my mother, my family and a few great souls who crossed my path that you must take responsibility for your own work, both good and bad. Stand up for what you do and don't do. I was taught that when you fall short you do what it takes to make it right. I did not live this way my whole life. It was ingrained in my head but like most I was stubborn to it for a long time. Thank goodness though the message was consistent around me. I also grew up working in the trades my whole life. I asked a million questions and had gained a lot of knowledge at a young age. The very best knowledge was exactly my title. Accepting responsibility for my own work. This was made clear to me from the first person who ever taught me a thing. He told me, " don't make excuses for your outcome.Instead, take responsibility for it. If it doesn't look very good, or if it doesn't work very good, then make it right and learn from it." As we fast forward to today I am living this as much as possible. I drive hard to achieve this daily. Why are more people not doing this?

I often use and hear the term, "these kids today, and their video games are ruining them". I played video games growing up and still do. I finally figured out it's not the computers and video games, but the lack of teaching to our children about the principles of responsibility. I just had to pause my writing as I went downstairs and removed my child's television set. I just received his report card and it is far below what he can do. I have made a mistake, and now I am correcting it. I am taking responsibility for what I did wrong with him and he will do the same. I will ensure he corrects his actions. My son is a smart boy who is often lazy and has other priorities. It is my responsibility to make sure I teach him to be responsible for himself. This is where I believe the problem is coming in. We are too busy being their buddies, absent in their lives, not responsible ourselves and so we are breeding a society of people who grow up and lack responsibility in all they do.

What does it mean to take responsibility for your own work? I believe it means that no matter what the outcome, you will own it and do what is needed with it. I believe it means that if I am on the job, you will know my outcome before it ever occurs because of who I am. This is my work and I will put my invisible stamp on it. It will say to you, this feels like his work because it is thorough or because it is half hearted. This will depend how you own your work. Not taking responsibility for your work is still an action you are taking. No one is exempt even when you are trying to be this way.

To be your best in all you do requires you to own what you do, and ensure success in it. Never think good enough, or even worse, "is it not my job?" I once had an employee say to me, "what does your money have to do with my paycheck?" I replied nothing, because you are fired!

Trying to believe – living in a scared state

In the last 15 years of my life I have been blessed with a vision of possibilities in life. At Thanks Giving my family often goes around in a circle and says one thing everyone is thankful for. Mine is always the same and that is, “The possibilities in life.” I am truly excited by that every day. I live in the what could be of life. This charges me and fuels me so I can push through anything I need. What I have noticed though is often times I am alone. Not many see what I see. I am not optimistic and I am not pessimistic, I am possibleistic. Ok, that is not a real word but if it was, I would be that. People simply have an issue with what they can’t see or understand. I know if I can dream it, I can do it! I just wish I could get more to realize it. Everyone I generally talk to gets to the same place. They want more and thinks there should be more but it sounds too good to be true. I on the other hand know that it is not. I know that it takes discipline to enact change and often times there is mass amounts of discomfort from it initially but eventually it goes away. We are resilient as human beings and we have learned to adapt to so much but there are so few brave souls. Not many will take big plunges and take a chance on making things different. Instead they talk about it, and complain about it but take very little action about it. Why would you want to do this to yourself? What do you have to lose? You see, people often think that if they make change in something that they could end up less so they won’t take that chance but I would argue that they are probably already less because they are living in fear over change. Fear can drive you or it can hold you back.

So what are life’s possibilities? The list is endless. It is just like I said, if you can dream it, you can do it. Want better finances, then make it happen. Want more quality time with your family, you can do it. What your business to be more successful, you can do it. What you need to know right from the get go is, that doing the same as you always have will produce no different results. Getting something different requires you to change it up. The second thing you need to do is vision what you want to change and see it happen before you do it. This sounds hard but it is not. You are already doing it on some levels and it is called dreaming. Turn the possibilities into reality. Dream Big- Reach High is my slogan I use because it is what the world seems to be lacking. We shoot for better than it was or better than my parents. We need to raise the bar to the best I want. Make it happen today for you by being open to life’s possibilities.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/