Constant And Never Ending Improvement~C.A.N.E.I.

Top 20 Ways We Waste Money

20. Buying drinks from drive throughs and convience stores

19. Eating out and having alcoholic drinks

18. Speeding

17. Rush delivery on mail orders

16. Tickets for traffic violations and parking violations

15. Not using coupons at grocery stores

14. Not properly maintenancing our vehicles

13. Not making your kids a lunch for school

12. Buying cheap shampoo or cheap products period. They do not last as long

11. Buying snacks or sweets 

10. Not eating left overs

9. Leaving lights and T.V. on all day

8. Turning heaters and A/C's on and off instead of setting at a comfortable temperature

7. By not mending torn clothes

6. By not asking for a better price on goods and services

5. Buying everything name brand

4. Financing personal goods at 23% on store credit cards

3.Buying cigarettes, tobacco, alcohol, energy drinks, espressos

2.Atm fees for using a foreign atm not your bank

1.Late fees on credit cards and bills

Using Your Will Power to Gain Happiness

Do you know what will power is? How often do you call on it to help you push through something? Understanding the true power within you will help you lead to happiness in your everyday life. Many people become unhealthy and unhappy because they cannot seem to find the key to getting all they want out of life. What I am suggesting is that everything you need in life lies inside of you. We need to learn how to call on this force called "will power."

I said the key to happiness come from will power and I meant it. Have you ever seen a little baby as it starts to develop, get upset because it is trying to do something and he or she can't seem to get the motor function down? What is the first thing that happens? The baby starts to cry right? Then I believe something starts to happen very profoundly at a young age. The baby either figures out how to use will power to get what he or she wants or it lies on its back screaming. I know it is hard to believe but I feel that many learn this young and go on to a prosperous life while some continue to struggle their whole life with it.

The reason I equate happiness with this subject is because as human beings, when we achieve, we are in a much better place. One of the best tools for this is our inner power. We need to understand how much is inside of us that we can pull from it. How many times have you been in a situation and thought to yourself, if only I could do this? What do you normally do next? For most people they will lay down and take what happens to them. For a few they will fight through it and come out strong. Those who come out strong have called upon what lies inside of the. This is what I playfully call the "Rocky Balboa" in us. You know what I mean if you have ever seen a Rocky movie. Somehow, some way, Rocky always finds a way to pull through. In the movie they call it heart, but in real life I call it will power.

For some, this strength also makes them stubborn in ways. This stubbornness will not let them lay down. This stubbornness makes them get up and go one more round. I had a friend once who was stubborn and he thought this was a good thing. The problem was it never helped him when he needed it. He was a person who always laid down and never fought. He just could not figure out how to pull his strength out from inside of him. He was just stubborn for the sake of being stubborn. It had no real value for him. 

I hope the next time you find yourself in a tough spot you will remember that you have what it takes to succeed. Do not lay down. Instead get up and push through. Life is already tough enough without you taking it. Fight for yourself so you can be as happy as you want to be.

Weight Loss Redefined

Today we are going to talk about weight loss in a different fashion than the normal everyday way. We are not going to talk about dieting, or exercise per Se. We are not going to talk so much about sacrificing, or magic pills, or crappy food to eat that are less calories. We will not count calories, eat lien cuisine, or sweat to the oldies. What I want to focus on for you in your quest for weight loss is your mind set. Weight loss redefines is the minds ability to determine that enough is enough and take massive action. 

How are all of those diets working for you? Do you here the root word in diet? The root word you here is die. That's right because every diet makes you want to die because you are so staved and so depressed from sacrificing that you would rather die than keep up with what you are doing. I have never been on a diet that works yet. There are certainly successful parts to certain diets that can be useful but overall diets are a fad or gimmick for some company to make money on. Yes some do loose weight but it has very little to do with the diet they are on. It has more to do with their mindset.

The brain is complicated for the most part but there is a simplistic side to it as well. Here is how simple the brain is when we make it this way. When we decide something, the brain will follow orders. The brain in our heads runs us on auto pilot until we wake up and take control. If no orders are given, then it decides what will go on. Some things are good for us or not harmful, but somethings are very counter productive. So ultimately no matter what we want to achieve, it is either up to us or our brains auto pilot. 

The brains main motivation is self full-filing needs. The brain can be as powerful as we need it to be providing we engage, other wise it just coast and gets what it wants. When it comes to food the brain will put you in a sugar coma if you let it. The brain will lead you to 300lbs if you do not stop it. The brain likes chemical reaction and sugars and food is just that. What you need to do instead of running to a diet is start with waking up and taking back your brain. 

Every time I have wanted to drop a few pounds or a lot of pounds I have done it. It has never been about a diet or some latest and greatest exercise guru. What happens is I stand up and say hey, I need to loose some weight so I feel better and look better. When I do this I am telling my brain, hey I got this I am taking over. The second thing I do is determine what is putting on all the weight and I re-program myself to either feel sick over those foods or put controls in place to limit my intake. When I do this it is like re-programming my computer. New directions get input and new calculations or formulas pop out. Your brain is no different. You decide how you will react. 

The next part is very important. You must say and believe this with the greatest conviction. You must believe in yourself. You must believe that you can do this. You must believe that you have the strength of 1000 men inside of you and you will bring it all out to accomplish this. You can stand on your own feet and finish this race I promise if if you will only believe. Tell yourself this, believe this and live this. Never back down again ever on this area of your life. Weight loss can happen in the same way weight gain happened, one pound at a time. 

Do not get me wrong, you need activity and exercise. You need to limit the intake of food in your mouth. You need to cut down on the sugar and sweets. Six small meals a day is much better than the 3 large ones you are doing and all the snacks. The real answer though lies in your brain and your heart.

Why Friendship Starts With the Letter "F"

What is the worse grade that you can receive in school? The letter "F" right? I wonder if it is any coincidence that the word friendship starts with the same letter as so many friends constantly fail to be "A" students in their friendships. Here is what grade you are:

A - This is the ultimate friend. They make being a friend easy. Everyone wants to be their friend because of the trust and the understanding they posses.

B - This is a decent friend but they still lack some fundamentals of friendship. All in all, they are decent friends.

C - This friend is neither outstanding nor horrible but does just the minimum as a friend. They have a moderate understanding of friendship but needs to work much harder to be a "real friend."

D. - This friend may not be a friend at all. You probably put up a bunch from them and they rarely contribute much goodness to the relationship. They lack most of the fundamental values needed for success.

F - Lacks every great quality that a friend should have. This should be a stop sign to turn around and run as they are probably very problematic and selfish. It's all about "me" with them and do not consider others. You will continually be let down by them and come up short. 

What does it mean to be a friend? I do not know your definition but mine would be as follows:

My friend will always accept my apology and will never have an issue apologizing back.

My friend knows I am not perfect and accepts me for me. My friend loves me at the end

of the day no matter how different our opinions may be. My friend will help me in a pinch no questions asked. My friend will tell me like it is no matter how harsh the truth may be. My friend

does not care about being right, just cares about doing right. My friend will not judge me but will 

not put up with me. My friend listens to me and has patience while I am talking. My friend is part         of my family. My friend will laugh with me, cry with me and fight with me. My friend is                         intelligent. My friend values others and does not trample on people's freedoms.  My friend will be         a friend no matter what.  

What is your definition of a friend? I think that for the most part we are missing what a friend really is. You should not have to work your butt off to be someone's friend. Yes, a relationship is hard work but being a friend should not be. Get to know someone before you judge them and start off wrong. Come to understandings in your friendship early on. For some new friends this is done verbally but with some it will just be understood. 

Good friends come in all packages. Keep your eyes open as you never know where your next friend will come from. My new friends are Australian and they are great people. Now when I think about Australia, i think about them. I would have never guessed I would have so much in common with an Aussie but he is like my twin. We do not need to talk about our understanding as friends. We already just get it. 

I hope from here on out you will take a moment to see what your grade is as a friend. I hope you are a straight A student but if not, you can fix that. Start with defining what you want in a friend and then be just that. 

No More Resolutions - Make Commitments This New Years

As 2008 comes to a close many people will start with their New Years resolutions. I say this year throw out your resolutions. They do not work and never have. What we need to do this year is have New Years Commitments! When we commitment to something, we then engage in it.

For a long time I have heard about so many New Years resolutions that people make. The gym is one of the biggest ones repeatedly made by so many. From January through February the gym is packed. By March it is eases up and by April it is back to normal. The problem with resolutions are they become like slogans to people. We do not need slogans, we need commitment.

Commitments are something we bind ourselves with. Yes, people break commitments all the time but you have a far better chance of keeping a commitment than a resolution. This year make at least 3 commitments to yourself that you will keep and make happen at all cost. We do not need 10 or 20 right now. we only need 3. Sit down, and write up a list of the top 20 things you want to change in your life. Then actually number them from 1-20. One being the most important and 20 being the least. Then take the top 3 off the list and devise a plan on how you are going to accomplish them. Once that is done make a solid commitment to making them happen

As a human being we are programmed to want change but in the end we fear change because we say it will never happen, so you figure what is the point? What I believe and know is that fear of change comes in when we do not work on changing enough. We get so used to keeping things as they were. The problem is that you will want to change something at some point in your life. How will you change if you fear changing?

Remember as Anthony Robins says, "repetition is the mother of all learning." You need to work on changing over and over again. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. If you do not like what comes about from the change then you can always change it back.

In 2009 do not make resolutions. Make 2009 your year of commitment and start getting all you want out of life. I wish you a happy New Year and I hope and pray you will seek out lasting change in your life. Life will not slow down just because you do not change. God Bless and be safe.

Car buying 101 - what the car dealerships do not want you to know.

Do you dread car dealerships like the plague? Does the thought of buying a new car excite you and make you sick all in the same thought?  Have you ever thought about why? Well today we are going to help you out and save you money. We are going to give you the inside to winning when buying a car. These are my opinion and I have successfully bought approximately 10 cars doing it this way but you will need to figure out how to make your personality work for you with these tips. Keep in mind and I mean this sincerely, you are lame to car salesman. They believe you are stupid and do not know any better. There are some out there that are great salespeople and are genuine but the group as a hole is very wrong. So let’s get started and be ready as I will give it to you straight.

First of all, you need to get clear right now. This is a game we are playing here and you need to win. Losing means giving away your cold hard cash and that is not an option. My first suggestion is to deal with fleet sales. This is the non-retail side to buying a car. You can get their attention particularly well if you have some form of a business and act like you are going to but more cars in the future. I am not suggesting to you to lie but remember this is a game to them so know the rules. Besides, it’s probably true as you will probably buy more cars in the future particularly if this transaction goes well. Next, start with the price of their car. If they ask tell them you are paying with cash. This will prevent them from trying to focus on everything at once and get you turned upside down. Negotiate the cost of the car and not payments and especially not interest rates. This will be a tip you need to get financed. They love financing as they make money on getting you financed. Do not accept stupid add ons like under coatings or some widget not important. Take them down 5-10% of the listed price at a minimum. The nice thing is that fleet service usually is better about price and play less games but games they still do play.

Once you have gotten the price where you want it then talk about what they will give you for your trade in. Go on to kellybluebook.com and know what your car is worth. Then go on that dealership site and see if they have any used cars comparable to yours. Information is powerful if used right.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that when you first arrived there give them a deadline like 30 minutes. Tell them if we can’t get this done in 30 – 45 minutes then you will walk. When that time comes around if you are not almost done (like 5 minutes from completion) then say bye to them. You can always give them a second chance but do not let them string you out for 2-3 hours as this is how they will get you to sign to anything.

Next is financing. Tell them you decided that you want to finance the car instead. You tell them exactly what you are willing to put down on the deal. Be reasonable but whatever you say to them must be final. Do not get inched along.

Lastly, gap insurances and warranties are something to consider but just know that they are a huge profit center for them and you usually never get the value out of them. Make sure you really want them before you say yes. Also, a lot of times the price is negotiable even when they tell you that they are not. You do not need to be rude or a liar but you do need to be firm and cunning a bit. When you drive off in your new car, smile all the way to your savings account with the left over money you saved!

Into the wild –Building a network for success

No man is an island! There was a time when I thought I could live on an island and be my own man. I have felt this way since I was a young man until one day it dawned on me that no matter how I tried I always needed someone’s help or product or money or whatever I needed. I do not grow my own food or build my own car. I hire employees because I need their help growing my business. I join networking groups to grow my business and I have lots of friends that I hang out with. I also discovered the same thing that the boy in into the wild discovers and that is that life is no fun without someone to share it with. I believe God puts people in your life to be an eyewitness to your life. Without others, who would know you existed?

In this book and movie the character strips his whole life away and takes what he needs to go and live into the wild. His intentions are to get away from what has been plaguing him for his whole life and that is his parents and the phoniness of the world. He is a writer and believes he holds the key to a fulfilling life. What we discover along the way is that he spends a lot of time with people whom he really enjoys and that he really does need people. I also believe that he also discovered that you can never really run from your past as it is what makes up your present and future. Life is the combination of all of your experiences. Taking away any piece is not a complete person but only a part.

Just as the character in the movie, I too had problems in my young life with people and family. At some point I became tainted with the idea that all people would eventually disappoint me and leave me so I started to become withdrawn. I had the crazy idea that if I just eliminated people from my life that I could be happier. The less people I had to deal with the easier my life would be. This has never been so untrue in all my life. We need others to get through our journey in life. It has taken me forever but what I truly learned was that I have to remove poisonous people from my life and not just everybody as a whole. I constantly try and surround myself with good people and then weed out the bad. The more this goes on, the bigger my life gets. I am constantly working on my circle of friends in business and  in my personal life. This is how you get success in life. We need each other and there is just no way to avoid that.

Let me caution you on this when it comes to building your networks. Before you can build a successful network, you need to figure out who you are, what kind of people you want around you, and what is the purpose of your circle of friends. Building a network without a plan is like planting a garden without a blueprints. At the end there will just be sporadic plantings everywhere without a flow or garden atmosphere. Plan your network in advance and plan your person. Know what you want and need ahead of time to make it happen the way you want it to be. Get the results that you desire by going for it and not looking back. People will always disappoint you and let you down but if your network is strong then it will never matter. The network will always pick up the slack for those who do not come through. Life is a business deal and it needs to be thorough if you will succeed. I always say to my people that they need a backup plan for their back up plan. Having a solid network will accomplish this.

Do not get to the end of your life and realize you were wrong about what it takes to be happy in life. Discover for yourself as early as possible that people are in your life for a reason. Set your standards high on who you want in your life and keep an eye on who enters in the picture. For me, I have gotten so much better at guarding the gate. I still have much work to do but my life is night and day different from even twelve months ago. I am not bitter by those who have damaged me and I forgive them as quick as I can. I do however learn from each bad experience they bring me. I hope you will too!

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Avoiding domestic violence

When domestic violence is present in a relationship, avoidance is the last thing that will occur. I have seen domestic violence get worse but I have never seen anyone avoid it. I am sad that there are people are out there in relationships that are attacking their spouses. What I want to understand is why do you attack on the weak? I also want to ask the ones who are being attacked, “Why do you think you can avoid the situation?” You never did anything to make it occur in the first place, so trying to keep things calm is not the answer. Why not shake things up and make some waves? If your domestic violence is really bad then at some point it will probably turn fatal or very harmful. Why not give yourself a chance and start fighting back?

Now I do not necessarily believe that violence is the answer but I do believe violence is already definitely happening. Sometimes, like it or not, it takes fire to fight fire. Maybe when you are being beaten on and feeling weak, why not try and swing back? What about getting away and running? Why not call 911? I do not know the answer but I do know there is an answer. I have seen the effects of someone being scared from an abusive person. I know you feel frozen and it seems impossible to think. I do not know how you feel but I have an idea you must feel helpless. What I am hoping for you is that you realize that not doing anything will only lead to a building of abuse and maybe you might end up dead. I do not want that for you ever. I want you to know that you can make it through this and the way to do that is to take action.

So why is domestic violence so crippling? I know if you stop and think about it you would tell me it is because the person who is abusing you knows you better than anyone. They know your habits, your thoughts, your fears, your weaknesses. They know you intimately and they know you angrily but what they do not know about you is your strengths. These abusers fail to see this in you. Your abusers are bullies who prey on the weak. They have never seen your strengths and do not realize that you can be strong. They have exploited every weakness in you but they will never consider your strengths. That is your abusers weakness you can exploit. Use your strength against them. When I wrestled in junior high and high school, I learned that the best tactics to winning were using the other wrestlers strengths against them. Their weaknesses then became exposed and soon enough I would have my hand raised. Will you consider yourself strong enough to overtake your abuser? If you understand my wrestling story, then you will realize you do not have to be the strongest. Just use their strength against them and get out alive. It is possible and you do have strength inside of you. You just need to find it and bring it out. The best offense is to be low key until you are ready to play your cards. Some are strong enough to stand up and be tough but for the rest of you, be quiet until it is time to strike. Do not resort to violence unless it comes down to defense. There are so many options available to you.

How is the abuser gaining access to your fears? Are you giving them up easily? Change things up and try and not act so scared in front of your abuser. Do not play tough as it will agitate them but instead confuse them with new actions. Make them reconsider their actions by the way you are adapting to a changing environment. Let them consider that maybe they do not know you as well as they thought. Get more people involved in an indirect way. Have more people around more often and do not try and act like you are frozen. You can also go to a battered women’s shelter, call the police or get some protection. You can call the local news channel or write an article and publicize what is going on. I know none of it seems great but not taking action is still way worse. Have the power to know action is needed and I believe in you. I do not know you but I know what you can do because I have seen it in others like you. They stood up and fought for you to inspire you. Today can be your day and you can start over and get this looser out of your life. Learn their weaknesses.

I know a girl who was being abused by an ex-boyfriend. He was stalking her and more. I will not tell you the details but what eventually solved the problem were my nudging and her knowledge of him. He was doing something so dumb that it eventually got him in a lot of trouble and taken away to jail. He is awaiting trial but we are hopeful he will go away for a long time. In case you do not know it, people who abuse women and children on the outside, get dealt with in prison, do not last long inside. At least, they will have a lot of very rough days inside. Remember, you can never avoid domestic violence but you can change it.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/