Constant And Never Ending Improvement~C.A.N.E.I.

Why Friendship Starts With the Letter "F"

What is the worse grade that you can receive in school? The letter "F" right? I wonder if it is any coincidence that the word friendship starts with the same letter as so many friends constantly fail to be "A" students in their friendships. Here is what grade you are:

A - This is the ultimate friend. They make being a friend easy. Everyone wants to be their friend because of the trust and the understanding they posses.

B - This is a decent friend but they still lack some fundamentals of friendship. All in all, they are decent friends.

C - This friend is neither outstanding nor horrible but does just the minimum as a friend. They have a moderate understanding of friendship but needs to work much harder to be a "real friend."

D. - This friend may not be a friend at all. You probably put up a bunch from them and they rarely contribute much goodness to the relationship. They lack most of the fundamental values needed for success.

F - Lacks every great quality that a friend should have. This should be a stop sign to turn around and run as they are probably very problematic and selfish. It's all about "me" with them and do not consider others. You will continually be let down by them and come up short. 

What does it mean to be a friend? I do not know your definition but mine would be as follows:

My friend will always accept my apology and will never have an issue apologizing back.

My friend knows I am not perfect and accepts me for me. My friend loves me at the end

of the day no matter how different our opinions may be. My friend will help me in a pinch no questions asked. My friend will tell me like it is no matter how harsh the truth may be. My friend

does not care about being right, just cares about doing right. My friend will not judge me but will 

not put up with me. My friend listens to me and has patience while I am talking. My friend is part         of my family. My friend will laugh with me, cry with me and fight with me. My friend is                         intelligent. My friend values others and does not trample on people's freedoms.  My friend will be         a friend no matter what.  

What is your definition of a friend? I think that for the most part we are missing what a friend really is. You should not have to work your butt off to be someone's friend. Yes, a relationship is hard work but being a friend should not be. Get to know someone before you judge them and start off wrong. Come to understandings in your friendship early on. For some new friends this is done verbally but with some it will just be understood. 

Good friends come in all packages. Keep your eyes open as you never know where your next friend will come from. My new friends are Australian and they are great people. Now when I think about Australia, i think about them. I would have never guessed I would have so much in common with an Aussie but he is like my twin. We do not need to talk about our understanding as friends. We already just get it. 

I hope from here on out you will take a moment to see what your grade is as a friend. I hope you are a straight A student but if not, you can fix that. Start with defining what you want in a friend and then be just that. 

Famous quotes By Dale Carnegie

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

Dale Carnegie

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets
you, not the loss of sleep.

Dale Carnegie

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Dale Carnegie

It is not what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.

Dale Carnegie

 

Who Is Right? Personal growth tip #4

Who is right?

If you are sitting there convinced that you are right, then have no worries. You are right, so you do not have to worry about cleaning up your messes, after all you are right. I wish I were you to feel so secure when I was wrong and not blink. I wish I could light a fire as bright as yours, yet not burn bridges along the way as you have but I have God I must answer to. I wrote you an earlier blog about who are you to judge and yet you still continue. Judge and you will be judged is what I promised you so do not be surprised when the verdict comes back. I am glad you are right, and you should keep telling yourself that as there will not be many around you to support you. I know that is not a problem because it proves your point that the world is at fault for all of your problems. Scream it out so all can hear you blame them. It will not help you be any better of a person but at least you will feel lousy. I am sorry you have become this but do not worry as there is some hope for you. You can drop to your knees and ask the good lord for forgiveness. When you are done with that, pick up a phone and start calling all the people who you have wronged in life. If you need some help with the phone bill and the time off work then do not call me as I am still here with you even you know you don’t deserve me. You just have forgotten about me. That is right, do not looked puzzle just because you never listen to me. Remember you are right so you do not need me. Who am I? Who are you without me? I am your salvation in this world besides GOD and you have been found wanting. Too bad you were always right because l would have helped you correct your mistakes and say I’m sorry but yet you always listen to your emotions. What a trip that has been as I have seen her alienate and ruin so many relationships for you. Who am I you ask? I am the only chance you have at a good life! I am your conscience.

Why Small Businesses Fail – Pt.6

Why Small Businesses Fail – Pt.6      

The last part of why small businesses fail when it comes to employees is about the waste they commit and the bad publicity they will spread. Their poor attitudes can spread like cancer if gone unnoticed so we will take a brief look at what we need to do to protect our business. Also, watch who is in charge of ordering supplies, handling checks, and dealing with mail or your business will pay the price.

I once was going through a slump when one of my businesses was about to bust. I started looking at every aspect of my business. I found many things but what I found to be the most alarming was how much waste my employees were committing. I would watch individual employees for a span of 3-5 days. I would watch everything and not let them know I was watching them or tracking them. What I first looked at was in an 8-9 hour period, how much production were we really receiving as a company from that employee? After about 15 employees I discovered we were in trouble. The average employee was delivering about 5.6 hours a day of production. The rest was just wasted money down the drain. If you are paying eight hours then get your eight hours.

My office staff in particular would work more and more hours and still not be productive. They would have to work 11 hours a day to get close to 8 hours of production. I had to do something about it fast. Ultimately I ended up closing down the business because of what I am about to tell you next. It was the main reason I had such poor production from the staff.

A few years earlier I hire a friend of mine from softball and took him under my wing. There is a lot to this story but the moral of the story is the important part. As time had passed I made him an offer to become a partner in the business. In looking back it was a huge mistake of mine. One, he wasn’t mature enough. Two he wasn’t smart enough and three friends do not necessarily make good partners. Well, what I found out along the way was that he was breeding a culture in the business which contributed to the lack of production. He created chaos, confusion, friendships, and poor performance. Once you have this in your business and a culture gets bread like this, then it is next to impossible to remove. What you have to do is trace it back to its roots and cut it out. I should have done that a long time ago.

The next thing to be aware of is closely monitor who is authorized or allowed to order supplies. It is not the big money that gets you in trouble. It’s the nickel and dime stuff that will kill you. Monitor this close and remember these words…. Learn to say “no!” It will mean more profit later.

The last thing we will talk about is watch what is done with the mail. I would suggest, if it is possible, to have a separate person open the mail and enter it than your bookkeeper. This is a true story I had happen. I once had a bookkeeper who was horrible and would not open the mail and stuff it in a drawer. What this did was look like we had more money than we really did. When she was let go for poor performance we cleaned out her desk and found the mother load. Unfortunately it was not a good one. Heed my warning and set up a system of controls on your accounting.  Also, pay closer attention than I did and never get surprised.

Why small businesses fail is because business is complicated and it has so many moving parts. Being an entrepreneur is not for the weak at heart. Please leave a comment if you found this article helpful or if you had any other thoughts about it. Remember C.A.N.E.I. stands for constant and never ending improvement

Quotes by Franklin D. Roosevelt

It is common sense to take a method and try it. 
If it fails, admit it frankly and try another.
 But above all, try something.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Quotes by Abraham Lincoln

Below are famous quotes from Abraham Lincoln. Please enjoy the wisdom from long ago that still holds true today!

 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing.

Abraham Lincoln

Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.

Abraham Lincoln

Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test
a man's character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln

Personal Growth Tip #1

When we go through our daily lives, we get stuck in a rut and stop opening ourselves up to what we really want to achieve. This is inevitable as life is consuming and is happening every minute of everyday. What we need to do in order to keep growing is to constantly remind ourselves that we want to keep on achieving and what that entails.

I know it may seem a little weird but do not be afraid to schedule "me time" for yourself. You can do this in a number of ways depending on how your life is structured. Nothing is ridiculous so do not worry as no one will be judging you but you.

Put post it notes everywhere you may get ready in the morning, in your car or at work. Remind yourself to work on those things you want to improve like eat better, calm down or don't stress. Again nothing is off limits so go as far as you need. Set up reminders in your phone so they will go off all throughout the day. The point of the exercise is to keep you reminded and get out of your daily rut.

Remember it is ok to drive a new way to work today. Eat lunch at a different time. Go home early, wake up late. Eat breakfast first before you shower or vice versa depending on what your normal routine is. Comb your hair left handed, brush your teeth with both hands. Do whatever it takes to change things up to keep you alive and fresh. We are human and we need constant reminders. Personal growth comes from being aware.

Please leave me a comment on my articles if they help you or if you need more helpful tips or suggestions.

Why Small Businesses Fail - Pt. 5

In the last post we talked about employees and the affects they can have on your business. The topic in that post was more about attitudes and personalities and how they can affect the reputation or performance of your business. In this post we will be discussing the legal issue associated with having employees and suggestions on what you can do to effectively deal with them. I am not an attorney, nor am I giving legal advise. What I am going to tell you is my opinion and what I have experienced and learned. You should always seek the legal advise of a qualified attorney if you so desire.

As previously mentioned, employees are paramount to having a successful business and can be one of your biggest assets. The other side to that coin is they are also one of your biggest liabilities. In case you didn't know the law looks at you like a custodian when you have employees and therefore charges you with complete care, control and custody of those employees and holds you highly responsible to their safety and anything else associated to them. What this means for you is that you will be afforded no excuses when it comes to properly caring for your employees. This is very important to know right from the start.

If this is your first business or are just starting one or have been in business for awhile I would suggest that you find an attorney who specializes in employment law. Employment attorneys are generally more expensive but are usually cheaper in the end because you will not have to pay their hours for learning or research. Once you have chosen an employment attorney i would suggest creating a short, simple employee manual and make it subject to change. Have your new attorney check any type of literature that may deal with employees. If a document is in existence make sure it is lawful.

Document, document, document any troubles, reviews, promotions, etc that you deal with. Watch what you write as it may be used against you later. Remember that ultimately we want to be successful so we are not just doing this to protect the company. If we are going to retain employees long term we need to be thorough in all we do with them.

My next suggestion is a bit bold and you will need to make sure it is done right. i will give you a generic over view here but for the full report/e-book you will need to email me. What I am about to tell you is a great tool for you with your employees and can save you thousands each year. I have been challenged by it several times by many agencies and I have always come out clean on it. What I am talking about is putting your employees on a wage rate agreement where they are paid minimum wage and any additional money earned will be by work performance only. I can't tell you how many times this has saved me and the customer. Lower cost equals lower prices past on to the customer. It is 100% legal and keeps the employees who are a little dishonest in check. For a sample of the agreement and the accompanying e-book, email me at the link below my picture.

Make arbitration mandatory for your employees should they have any type of grievance. This process is much cleaner, healthier and less costly for all involved. Arbitration is about the issue at hand and not about all kinds of other money wasting tactics used in a regular lawsuit or miscellaneous grievance. If there is an issue between employer and employee, the goal should be to get it resolved and not prolong it.

Employees are a mouth piece or ambassadors for your company so make sure you are always listening to what they are saying to your customers. Monitor phone calls, emails, and any verbal & written communications they are involved in. Promising services or other such things to customers leaves you in the hot seat if they are false. It is your right to snoop around and keep your eyes and ears open.

Implement an intensive training program and stick to it. Employees who are left alone will cause the company real issues. Let your employees know you care and that you are aware of them at all times. Do not coddle them or baby them but do take the time to acknowledge them.

Lastly, employee safety is a much bigger deal than you may put on it. There are plenty of companies out there who will set up and run a safety program for you for minimal costs. They will even supply you with industry specific forms to have your employees fill out. Accidents can drive up the cost of doing business and also lowers employee moral. Keep your employees safe at all times.

What we have just discussed is not intended to scare you but make you very aware of what your responsibilities are as an employer. You can effectively run your company while properly caring for your employees.

Facebook Phenomenom

It is about time that we mature people have a site to stay in touch with those we know, love and are related to. I am now in my mid thirties and do not really appreciate the teeny bopping, all to graphic world of MySpace.

I am no prude and can get wild and have as much fun as the next person but to me I want to be able to communicate to others in a clean, nice environment. I am not a Myspace hater. My space has its crowd and that is fine but I just never really enjoyed it as much as I am on Facebook. 

Facebook seems cleaner, nicer, less advertisements or craziness. Its easy to use features and navigation make it universal for many. I have been on Facebook for awhile and lately it seems like more and more people are signing up and using the site. I have found more and more friends and family on there than ever before. 

On Facebook you can do a search by name , school or city and find old friends or family members. You can post photos, link to your favorite sites, join groups, join a cause, start a link and so much more. The functionality of Facebook is awesome and amazing and I am so grateful for this site. It is one of the best social network site on the web that brings people back together in one place. 

If you have never checked out Facebook, you should go on there and just browse to see what it has to offer. The web URL is www.facebook.com. This is for people of all ages and interests. It is free and is easy to set up and use. There is a calendar for birthdays, marketplace for items for sale or wanted, and so much more. Come and take a look at Facebook and join me on line. We would love to hear from  you. See you in space!

No More Resolutions - Make Commitments This New Years

As 2008 comes to a close many people will start with their New Years resolutions. I say this year throw out your resolutions. They do not work and never have. What we need to do this year is have New Years Commitments! When we commitment to something, we then engage in it.

For a long time I have heard about so many New Years resolutions that people make. The gym is one of the biggest ones repeatedly made by so many. From January through February the gym is packed. By March it is eases up and by April it is back to normal. The problem with resolutions are they become like slogans to people. We do not need slogans, we need commitment.

Commitments are something we bind ourselves with. Yes, people break commitments all the time but you have a far better chance of keeping a commitment than a resolution. This year make at least 3 commitments to yourself that you will keep and make happen at all cost. We do not need 10 or 20 right now. we only need 3. Sit down, and write up a list of the top 20 things you want to change in your life. Then actually number them from 1-20. One being the most important and 20 being the least. Then take the top 3 off the list and devise a plan on how you are going to accomplish them. Once that is done make a solid commitment to making them happen

As a human being we are programmed to want change but in the end we fear change because we say it will never happen, so you figure what is the point? What I believe and know is that fear of change comes in when we do not work on changing enough. We get so used to keeping things as they were. The problem is that you will want to change something at some point in your life. How will you change if you fear changing?

Remember as Anthony Robins says, "repetition is the mother of all learning." You need to work on changing over and over again. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. If you do not like what comes about from the change then you can always change it back.

In 2009 do not make resolutions. Make 2009 your year of commitment and start getting all you want out of life. I wish you a happy New Year and I hope and pray you will seek out lasting change in your life. Life will not slow down just because you do not change. God Bless and be safe.

Why it Is All About Mindset

Do you ever wonder why you set out to plan something and you have it all worked out in your head and when the event finally comes it does not live up to what you wanted? The reason for this is that it is all in the way you are looking at it. It's your mindset or mind's point of view. Fortunately or unfortunately we all program our own minds most of the time and decide how we look at something. That is why everything is all about your mind set.

Think about it this way, how do you know that a sunset is pretty? Who determined that it is pretty? Maybe to you it is not but to me it is. How do we draw these conclusions? What is romantic to you? How do you feel when you see a mentally challenged boy? Do you like scary movies? All of these things are determined by you (and outside influences) but mostly by you. We decide how we look at things and how they should be. Have you ever thought about this before? Why am I even writing about it?

Your mindset controls everything you do all day long. How you look at things, deal with situations, pass judgement and so much more. In my daily life i see how this affects allot of people. One person can have a huge lasting affect on many. We need to be aware how we affect those around us and what is controlling that.

If you are unhappy with your life right now try stepping back and reevaluating what you see and how you see it. Reprogram your brain to change up how it views the world. We need to become better people again in this country. We have become very aggressive, very judgmental and very pessimistic. If we will all just realize it is how we have programed ourselves then just maybe we can do something about it.

The next time something doesn't play out how you thought it should, step back and reevaluate your thoughts. Maybe you will discover that you were looking at it all wrong.

I will cry for you my friend!

Today I spoke with a friend about a serious tragedy in her life. We have not spoken in many years and I will not say what the tragedy was and is. She deserves her privacy. What I want to say to her is this:" I will cry for you so you don't have to." I couldn't help but tell you that as the pain and tears you have been through is too much for one person to bare. I want to help you so I give you this now. My eyes have filled up with water ever since we talked. I will now be the one who will cry so you can start to laugh again and make your life what you want.

What would you do if you were the friend, loved one or acquaintance of someone who was going through something horrific? What could you do? How would you respond? I found myself saying over and over again I am so sorry to hear that. I am sorry that happened. How many times did I say that? I felt so stupid but I did not know what else to say. So right now all I can say is I will cry for you so I don't have to say I am sorry! I am sure she has heard that enough times and I am sure she is getting nothing from it.

When we go through a traumatic experience in life we usually go into some form of shock and feel like we are in a daze. I believe when that happens God sends people into our life or back into our life for a reason. I am sure that is why we have reunited as friends. I am here to help her or she is here to help me as God works in mysterious ways.

My friend who we will call Maggie, needs our prayers and thoughts to help her heal and grow strong from this. I know there is something good for her here and I need help delivering it to her. What would you do if life became tragic suddenly? How would you function? Do you know what you would do when your life gets all turned upside down? The only thing I know for sure is I would turn to God and pray. Other than that I would do the best I can.

Maggie is doing just that and rightfully so. I do not expect more than that for her right now. I pray she figures a way out and up but she deserves all the room in the world. Maggie when I was done talking to you my heart melted and I shed tears for you. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now but just know someone cares. You are in my prayers and I am here to burden your load. If you are reading this, I ask you to say a prayer for my friend who needs your strength. Life is too short and we all need to stop every once in a while and be thankful for everything we have in our lives. We never know what God has in store(or whomever you believe in) but what we need to do in the mean time is be a friend to as many as we can while we are here.

Thank you Maggie for sharing and I hope you are not mad at me for sharing. I felt so moved to tell some of your story today in the hopes someone out there will heal from this. 

When it comes to change-Keep on moving

I have always enjoyed my ability to adapt to new places, situations and people. I do not know where I acquired it from because I come from a family who is terrified of change. My mother had 3 jobs here whole life. One of those three jobs was a second job she held concurrently with her second job for 15 years. Once she was offered another job through a large university for a lot more money and benefits and she turned it down as she was so uptight thinking about starting a new job. Why does this happen to so many people? Does this sound like you or are you more like me? Maybe you are somewhere in the middle even. Let’s talk about change and what it means to the human spirit.

In case you have never figured it out, change is happening in most cases rather you participate or not. The earth is spinning, seasons are on the move and you are getting older. Some believe that you can never remain constant. You are growing or shrinking, getting in better shape or worse or growing your business or declining your business. Change will occur even without your help. This is the natural law of the universe. From the moment we are born we are dying so the best thing you can do in life in regards to this is learn to adapt.

So why do so many fight change? The reasons most do not like change is because we are creatures of habit and we like familiarity. The best example of this is the home we live in. Most people love going home because no matter how nice it is or how crappy it is, it is our own familiar comfortable place. We make our home so we are comfortable and familiar to it. We sleep on the same side of the bed, we use the same routine to get up every morning to get ready for our day and we take the same path to work. We set up familiar to tell ourselves we are safe. Here comes the real problem and that is, what do we do when we have to change?

Learning to adapt to change is like most things. Repetition is the mother of all learning so you just have to start doing it. For years I would always eat the same kinds of food. The reason is when I was a child I ventured out one day not out of want to trying new things but because of monetary constraints. I wanted the most food for my little buck. When I got the food I was so disappointed. I went hungry and so from that day on until 3 years ago I never ventured out. One day though about three years ago I decided to get out of my comfort zone. I had this very close friend of mine who started pushing me to try new places. I fought it at first but slowly but surely I found out all I had been missing. I was very uncomfortable at first as you see I would relive my tragedy over and over again every time I was going to try something new. Now, who cares if it is not something I like as at least I gave it a try.

When it comes to change, go for it. Do not get frozen by the thought of changing anything up. If you are married, try new traditions. Take a new route to work, brush your teeth first, and anything else you  do every day as a routine. She/he who can adapt will always win at all they do!

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Turning it all around!

What would it take for you to turn around a bad situation? How often does that work out for you? I know for me the only situations I can't seem to turn around the most are the ones where I need cooperation from others. Working on a relationship, a team or an organization where all hell has broken loose can be a very trying experience. Most of the people that I call on to help me out to turn something around always seem to be stubborn, slow or caught up in a tailspin. Most of the time I have been the master at turning things around but lately it has been twice as much work.

I do not know why people love having so much drama in their life, but they do. They seem to create it at the work place and they seem to have it at home and even with their friends. The drama replaces common sense and decency. I always ask them why this goes on in their life and I always get a look of confusion. The look is like, " What drama?" That is what they always seem to be saying with that look on their face and I actually believe them. No, I am not a fool or someone who is naive. What I have come to discover is this; They do not know they create drama until later. Yes that is right I said not until later when they look around and see no one around them. That is the moment I believe they realize they create drama, but sadly enough they start again the next time like an endless cycle that repeats itself for eternity.

I have confronted many of people like this and it is one of the most frustrating things I have ever done. It is like trying to get an alcoholic or drug addict to kick the addiction. You are not dealing with the person, you are dealing with the drama. You could cure cancer easier than getting someone to recognize the destruction they are causing with there drama. I really hate the word drama in this sense but nothing describes it better for what it is. Life is like a stage and the dramatics they deliver is so important to them! I bring up drama in trying to turn things around depending on the situation because it is usually the number one cause of why you or I have turmoil. People hurting themselves and you and have no clue they are doing it.

So what does it take to turn around a bad situation other than getting someone to recognize their drama? There are no rules when you are trying to turn the tide. It's a dog eat dog world and you better be prepared to dig in and do what it takes to do this. It is like a merry go round. Remember when  you were a kid trying to get that thing going in one direction? First you expend so much energy getting it going and then it starts to take off. Easier and easier it get turning around. Then, do you remember what happens when you try and stop it and take it the other way? it almost rips your arm off when you grab it and then it takes a lot more energy to go the other way because of your equilibrium and your strength has diminished a bit. Turning around situations are a little like that but a whole lot worse as a merry go round is a physical object you can manipulate. People are not the same in this case and even if you do manipulate them, they realize it sooner or later and start fighting you even worse. What needs to happen is you need to re motivate the principles in your problem. Who are the players involved and why are we at where we are at? Once you have this down then you must be prepared for battle. You have got to watch yourself though as I have found myself getting caught up in it and have gotten a little out of control. Once the battle heats up you may have a tendency to say or do things that are not the ordinary for you. Keep yourself calm, cool and collected and turn the problem into a positive.

When I am working on turning around a problem I find I need to keep me and my people, friends or team motivated continually painting a picture for all to see where we could be instead of where we are. Do not give up hope as if you keep on working the situation, something good will come out of it!

Who is right?

If you are sitting there convicted that you are right, then have no worries. You are right so you do not have to worry about cleaning up your messes, after all you are right. I wish I were you to feel so secure when I was wrong and not blink. I wish I could light a fire as bright as yours yet not burn bridges along the way as you have but I have God I must answer to. I wrote you an earlier blog about who are you to judge and yet you still continue. Judge and you will be judged is what I promised you so do not be surprised when the verdict comes back. I am glad you are right and you should keep telling yourself that as there will not be many around you to support you. I know that is a problem because it proves your point that the world is at fault for all of your problems. Scream it out so all can hear you blame them. It will not help you be any better but at least you will feel lousy. I am sorry you have become this but do not worry as there is some hope for you. You can drop to your knees and ask the good lord for forgiveness. When you are done with that, pick up a phone and start calling all the people who you have wronged in life. If you need some help with the phone bill and the time off work then do not call me as I am still here with you even you know you don’t deserve me. You just have forgotten about me. That is right, do not looked puzzle just because you never listen to me. Remember you are right so you do not need me. Who am I? Who are you without me? I am your conscience and you have been found wanting. Too bad you were always right because l would have helped you correct your mistakes and say I’m sorry but yet you always listen to your emotions. What a trip that has been as I have seen her alienate and ruin so many relationships for you. Who am I you ask? I am the only chance you have at a good life! I am your conscience. Heed my warnings!

How to improve your communication skills

Improving your communication skills is the key to having fulfilling relationships. No matter what relationship we are talking about, having clear, honest and open communications will increase your chances of success in the long run. In order to improve your communication skills you must understand that you must also get good communication back from the other party. You do not have the option of force so what you will have to do is encourage and train. That other person may be a lousy communicator with others but with you they will be superior as you command good communication in your relationships. Let's look at how we can improve our communication skills effectively.

First, start with your demeanor and personality. We must put off a vibe so to speak that says we are an affective communicator. We must live it and breathe it to all we encounter. We need to improve ourselves in our confidence in communicating to others. You must understand why we want to improve our communication skills because we want to be understood. In order for that to occur we need exact instructions to others.

Second, speak clearly and effectively using examples if necessary. If you are writing, then write neatly and draw a clear picture for whom the written form is intended. Do not get complicated in your communication. Instead be clear, concise and firm. Remember, presentation is everything in communicating so become a great presenter. Let the person know you are communicating with that you are like a seasoned actor who draws in the audience. The more of their attention you grab the better. Most peoples attention span is thirty seconds. If they are not connecting with you and drawn in then you will have even less time with their mind. Your communication skills need to constantly be perfected so never pass up an opportunity to practice them.

Do not leave anything open to interpretation that you do not want left open. Go as far as you need with the person that you are dealing with to make sure that your point is well understood with out guessing. If you fall short then they will fill in the blanks and we do not want that! We want to be in charge of our own communications and we want to be heard as we intended the message. We have our own voice to be heard.

Get the other party to participate in the communication. The more active you can get the other side the better then you will know they are receiving what you are doing. All communication on your side with no response from the other is side should be scary to you. We want affirmation that they understand and that the communication is good. If there is are objections or questions we want to know now not later. Do your best to engage your audience.

Lastly, have a clear plan before communicating. The more organized your communication is the better. If your other party involved with the communication is confused because it is disorganized then we will lose all chance of accomplishing our goal. For instance, if we are communicating with our spouse about how they spend too much money and we lay out our communication talking about the types of products they buy and how expensive they are. Then the message may be to change up my choice of products and get a better value for the dollar in their mind. Then he/she may keep spending as much money but get more products for the same price may be the message received. Figure it out before you open your mouth. Having to rehash the same message will be irritating to your spouse and you will have little chance to succeed.

Improving your communication skills has to be habit forming. They need to be used at work and at home. Communication skills will improve over time depending how much work you put into them. Do not give up as eventually your correct message will be heard the way you want it to be heard. I hope I communicated all of this clearly. 

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Into the wild –Building a network for success

No man is an island! There was a time when I thought I could live on an island and be my own man. I have felt this way since I was a young man until one day it dawned on me that no matter how I tried I always needed someone’s help or product or money or whatever I needed. I do not grow my own food or build my own car. I hire employees because I need their help growing my business. I join networking groups to grow my business and I have lots of friends that I hang out with. I also discovered the same thing that the boy in into the wild discovers and that is that life is no fun without someone to share it with. I believe God puts people in your life to be an eyewitness to your life. Without others, who would know you existed?

In this book and movie the character strips his whole life away and takes what he needs to go and live into the wild. His intentions are to get away from what has been plaguing him for his whole life and that is his parents and the phoniness of the world. He is a writer and believes he holds the key to a fulfilling life. What we discover along the way is that he spends a lot of time with people whom he really enjoys and that he really does need people. I also believe that he also discovered that you can never really run from your past as it is what makes up your present and future. Life is the combination of all of your experiences. Taking away any piece is not a complete person but only a part.

Just as the character in the movie, I too had problems in my young life with people and family. At some point I became tainted with the idea that all people would eventually disappoint me and leave me so I started to become withdrawn. I had the crazy idea that if I just eliminated people from my life that I could be happier. The less people I had to deal with the easier my life would be. This has never been so untrue in all my life. We need others to get through our journey in life. It has taken me forever but what I truly learned was that I have to remove poisonous people from my life and not just everybody as a whole. I constantly try and surround myself with good people and then weed out the bad. The more this goes on, the bigger my life gets. I am constantly working on my circle of friends in business and  in my personal life. This is how you get success in life. We need each other and there is just no way to avoid that.

Let me caution you on this when it comes to building your networks. Before you can build a successful network, you need to figure out who you are, what kind of people you want around you, and what is the purpose of your circle of friends. Building a network without a plan is like planting a garden without a blueprints. At the end there will just be sporadic plantings everywhere without a flow or garden atmosphere. Plan your network in advance and plan your person. Know what you want and need ahead of time to make it happen the way you want it to be. Get the results that you desire by going for it and not looking back. People will always disappoint you and let you down but if your network is strong then it will never matter. The network will always pick up the slack for those who do not come through. Life is a business deal and it needs to be thorough if you will succeed. I always say to my people that they need a backup plan for their back up plan. Having a solid network will accomplish this.

Do not get to the end of your life and realize you were wrong about what it takes to be happy in life. Discover for yourself as early as possible that people are in your life for a reason. Set your standards high on who you want in your life and keep an eye on who enters in the picture. For me, I have gotten so much better at guarding the gate. I still have much work to do but my life is night and day different from even twelve months ago. I am not bitter by those who have damaged me and I forgive them as quick as I can. I do however learn from each bad experience they bring me. I hope you will too!

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Avoiding domestic violence

When domestic violence is present in a relationship, avoidance is the last thing that will occur. I have seen domestic violence get worse but I have never seen anyone avoid it. I am sad that there are people are out there in relationships that are attacking their spouses. What I want to understand is why do you attack on the weak? I also want to ask the ones who are being attacked, “Why do you think you can avoid the situation?” You never did anything to make it occur in the first place, so trying to keep things calm is not the answer. Why not shake things up and make some waves? If your domestic violence is really bad then at some point it will probably turn fatal or very harmful. Why not give yourself a chance and start fighting back?

Now I do not necessarily believe that violence is the answer but I do believe violence is already definitely happening. Sometimes, like it or not, it takes fire to fight fire. Maybe when you are being beaten on and feeling weak, why not try and swing back? What about getting away and running? Why not call 911? I do not know the answer but I do know there is an answer. I have seen the effects of someone being scared from an abusive person. I know you feel frozen and it seems impossible to think. I do not know how you feel but I have an idea you must feel helpless. What I am hoping for you is that you realize that not doing anything will only lead to a building of abuse and maybe you might end up dead. I do not want that for you ever. I want you to know that you can make it through this and the way to do that is to take action.

So why is domestic violence so crippling? I know if you stop and think about it you would tell me it is because the person who is abusing you knows you better than anyone. They know your habits, your thoughts, your fears, your weaknesses. They know you intimately and they know you angrily but what they do not know about you is your strengths. These abusers fail to see this in you. Your abusers are bullies who prey on the weak. They have never seen your strengths and do not realize that you can be strong. They have exploited every weakness in you but they will never consider your strengths. That is your abusers weakness you can exploit. Use your strength against them. When I wrestled in junior high and high school, I learned that the best tactics to winning were using the other wrestlers strengths against them. Their weaknesses then became exposed and soon enough I would have my hand raised. Will you consider yourself strong enough to overtake your abuser? If you understand my wrestling story, then you will realize you do not have to be the strongest. Just use their strength against them and get out alive. It is possible and you do have strength inside of you. You just need to find it and bring it out. The best offense is to be low key until you are ready to play your cards. Some are strong enough to stand up and be tough but for the rest of you, be quiet until it is time to strike. Do not resort to violence unless it comes down to defense. There are so many options available to you.

How is the abuser gaining access to your fears? Are you giving them up easily? Change things up and try and not act so scared in front of your abuser. Do not play tough as it will agitate them but instead confuse them with new actions. Make them reconsider their actions by the way you are adapting to a changing environment. Let them consider that maybe they do not know you as well as they thought. Get more people involved in an indirect way. Have more people around more often and do not try and act like you are frozen. You can also go to a battered women’s shelter, call the police or get some protection. You can call the local news channel or write an article and publicize what is going on. I know none of it seems great but not taking action is still way worse. Have the power to know action is needed and I believe in you. I do not know you but I know what you can do because I have seen it in others like you. They stood up and fought for you to inspire you. Today can be your day and you can start over and get this looser out of your life. Learn their weaknesses.

I know a girl who was being abused by an ex-boyfriend. He was stalking her and more. I will not tell you the details but what eventually solved the problem were my nudging and her knowledge of him. He was doing something so dumb that it eventually got him in a lot of trouble and taken away to jail. He is awaiting trial but we are hopeful he will go away for a long time. In case you do not know it, people who abuse women and children on the outside, get dealt with in prison, do not last long inside. At least, they will have a lot of very rough days inside. Remember, you can never avoid domestic violence but you can change it.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Living with alcoholism through adolescent eyes

One day he went to the doctor because he was not feeling very well. Like lines on a map, alcohol was taking a toll on his body. His face was weathering to that old familiar look. They had run tests 3 days earlier and the doctor wanted him back to discuss the results. This is never a good sign but alcoholics generally do not pick up on things of intuition. The doctor said to him,” I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is you can go home and have all the beers you want. The bad news is you will only get to enjoy them for a short while because you are killing yourself by way of alcohol.” He was killing his liver. Now I do not know how he put down the bottle that day, but what I do know is that he never put down the tenancies that got him to that point. You see alcoholism is not just about the liquid you drink or prefer. I do not care what any doctor tells you about alcoholism. If they do not talk about the alcoholic tenancies that must be put down then you have only won half the battle and gained half the truth.

Like most of you, I thought alcoholics were about drinking. It seems simple enough on the surface. Too much alcohol equaled alcoholic. My mother always said, “Most anything in moderation was ok for you.”  My step father must have missed that lesson and so must have my aunt and real father. Alcoholism does not start with a drink. It does not start with several drinks. What it starts with is a personality that has to drive the whole alcoholic train. Alcoholics get started with a personality of what is called personality tenancies. These tenancies are what drive a person to drink. Like demons in the night, alcoholics are haunted and are almost driven to drink. Some are aggressive people, some are passive people but they all have one thing in common. They all have habits that are neurotic and compulsive and that the alcohol will intensify.

My step father was the aggressive type. He would get violent with every drink. He lost all ambition the more he would pound his drink of choice. Budweiser in a tin can was his drink. I am not against Budweiser (although they had a play in my tragedy), as every person has the choice to drink in moderation. He could drink more beer than most people could drink water. To this day I do not know how he drank so much liquid. He was not a very nice man or father back when he drank. I do not know how my mother ever put up with him and all he did. I do not know how my brother and I ever turned out so well as alcoholics will steal families and dreams without a conscience. They are not aware of what they do except that they continually need more alcohol. They are chasing that high that came the first time they drank. Oh how they think their problems disappear with the booze. What they never realize until it is too late is that the problems will wait for you by the front door until you are done. They do not vanish or go away because you keep on drinking. They will pile up like newspapers until you pick them up and do something with them.

I am a survivor of an alcoholic family. I have lived through the yelling and the senseless fighting. The grease stains on the wall from food being thrown at it. I have witnessed the drunk driving and the all nighters that occurred regularly in our lives. I have survived a hell that no child should ever see much less any person. My childhood was taken when it comes to safety and security for the devil himself would enter our modest home nightly through a Budweiser can. I was a child afraid of a liquid and yet what I came to know later was that it was the habits that my step-father had that were the problem.

I believe that if you have no love in your life, then you are in trouble as tough love is no real love. Tough love is a recipe for alcohol. Going through life the tough way is a personality that reeks of alcohol. If you are a person with no spine and the world walks on you then you are in trouble as a paper bag will find its way into your hands more than likely. When you are an alcoholic, you need to discover what tenancies you have that is driving you to drink. Simply putting down the bottle will not stop all of the nightmares and rough life style. Seek out what ails you and fix it. When my step-father quit drinking, he was still an aggressive, combative, tough love kind of guy. He was still lacking crucial social skills outside of a bar. He had not figured how to function without alcohol flowing throw his blood as he had nowhere to go and hide anymore. He became even more angry and bitter with every passing day. His answer to anyone who crossed him was to beat them up or sue them for everything. He was a tough role model to follow as I was only 12 and beating up or suing everyone at my age was difficult. There had to be a better choice. Why couldn’t he see that his methods were disastrous and that even you know he was no longer drinking, he was still hurting our family. He needed to learn to stop all the anger and the aggressive behavior and the very attitude that made him an alcoholic. He would never get better until he stops acting like an alcoholic for beer was only the magnifier that gave him an excuse for his behaviors.

Now my story comes out great in the end as I am not an alcoholic and neither is my brother. As for my step father, I believe he is still on step 11 or however many steps there, he is one step away from kicking alcoholism. He has succeeded in most areas but still holds on a bit to those tenancies. I think age has slowed him down a bit and so has the passing of my mother. I hope one day when he gets to heaven that he will realize that only God needs to forgive him and that thank God he sent my mother to rescue him. As for me, I will do my best to not let people forget what my mother has taught me and that is “most anything in moderation is not bad for you!”

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. 

Who are you to judge others?

Judge and ye will be judged. This is pretty logical thinking as everyone I have ever met who has been judgmental is always in the hot seat. Playing judge and jury is great until you are in the defendant’s chair. Who are you to judge as life on its own is a tough thing to negotiate? Watch how you put yourself in a position of judgment as one day your time will come to be in the lime light.

I do not know when we all decided that we could be the judge of others. It just seems to start happening from the beginning when we are kids. It starts slowly and it builds. At some point we either learn to stop doing it so much or we kick into overdrive. Judging others is addicting and is hard to stop once you are an adult who had done it all your life. I know for me that it was and is a very hard habit to break. I have learned to take judgment for others and turn it into trying to help others without imposing my lifestyle on others. I know about judging as I have come under so much scrutiny in my life in the past. It has slowed down to nothing since I have cut it out. I would get judged for things I didn't even do and I would be outraged. What finally calmed me down was that I figured it was god's way of punishing me for all of the things I did do that I didn't get punished for. I also learned that the less I judged, the less I was judged.

What does it mean to judge others? Judging others is when you think you were appointed to be in a position to impose yourself on another. Most of the time I find those who are judging others are either being rude or are arrogant in thinking they are better. Either way, they are usually wrong. Judging is being critical towards others and it leads to hurtful feelings. Constructive criticism is to be helpful and should be welcomed. Judging others because you disapprove should not be acceptable. I do not know when judging others is helpful except in a court room and even then it is tainted.

In owning a business I unfortunately have to pass judgment all the time, in doing so for many years I have tried to get people to judge themselves in situations. I have found this to be very effective and it keeps me from judging others. I do not mind judging situations but people are very difficult and dangerous. I have guilt that I may be harming someone because of my judgment. I am a leader and it comes with the territory but I feel I have a responsibility to ensure I am not hurting my people with an unfair label. I want more from people so I must do my part to make sure I never cause them harm by my judgments. i have lived being unfairly judged and I do not like it. I am not a complainer but I know my own feelings in this matter. If I am going to be judged then I want to be judged on my own merits and without bias from people. I now I am not alone in this and I hope by writing this article I will inspire others to think about it before they judge others. As Americans we are judged worldwide and not always in a good manner. At some point in our life we need to understand the full impact of this action. I hope we will start today and realize it only takes one person to start leaving the gable at home.

Is coaching right for me?

What is a life coach or a success coach? Quite simply, it is someone whom you generally hire to pay attention to details in life you are missing. I believe that there are plenty of smart people out there who could be so much happier if they just had someone who could help guide them in a better direction in life and point out what they are missing. Having a life coach is needed for 95% of the population as we live such busy lives these days. The fact is we all have things in our lives we want to fix or make better and just can't seem to make the time to stop and figure it out. A life coach can redirect you and get you going in the right direction. You can enjoy a piece of mind like you never have with a success coach.

The CANEI Corporation can help you do just that. We would love to be your life or success coach. Robert has many techniques that will help you regain control of your daily life. Robert will help influence you in a more spiritual and calming prospective on how to achieve and create a sense of calmness in your life. If you feel like everyday is slipping by then contact Robert today to sign up for training and start on a new path to help you get the upper hand. All of Robert's coaching is just that, it's coaching. You will need to participate and make decisions on your own with Robert as your guide. The CANEI Corporation can help you in your personal life as well as your professional life. We can even help whole companies work as a team. Robert's business philosophy is that no company can prosper without a team attitude. Together Everyone Achieves More!

I know coaching will enrich your life and help you achieve more this year in your life. Contact Robert at : robert.k@thecaneicorporation.com for more information. You can also sign up on the website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com. Click on coaching and fill out the information. Someone will contact you shortly. Best of luck to you and I know you will enjoy the benefits of coaching.

Starting a business: Working with family members

I wanted to just tell him to stop acting like an immature man and grow up, but I couldn’t because he was my cousin. I know I should but instead I am worried about the way he will feel. I feel confused about this as it is against everything I know. I decided a long time ago never to sugar coat things. Be direct is the best thing I can do for my people and yet here I am. Seconds feel like hours right now as I feel like I am in a fog. Something is not right as I am not feeling myself. What had happened to me? I go to open my mouth again and just tell him how it was and the way it needed to be. Nothing, once again I just smile and crack a joke. Now time slows even more. I am also getting warm and feel like I am choking inside. This is not what I want to do or the way I want to run the company. What is the problem with telling him? He needs to hear it as he is just not looking at things right. He also is taking advantage of us being family. Not in a bad way but he seems to feel it gives him a sense of right. Tell him now or you will suffocate and die. “Ok then, I will see you later” and he drives off to home. I had failed him and myself. The company and others would suffer because of it. I am strong as a leader but I was weak with him. This is a huge mistake and I need to grow up myself and deal with it like a professional. When we are at work, we are business. We are not family and I have said that a million times. We need to keep that straight, after all it’s not like we are fighting or messing around. We seem to be working on the same page for the most part but we are definitely missing this though. I will correct this somehow immediately. It is best for everyone.

The next day I arrived to find my cousin in the same mess he was in yesterday. I asked if I could speak with him and I told him he needed to change his mindset and mature in what he was doing. His eyes grew tighter and his chest had puffiness to it. He was visibly disturbed by what I had said. He looked at me and said,” You don’t know what you are talking about!” I said to him that if we are ever going to get somewhere in this, he needed to be more open and be willing to take criticism. He was angry but yet after we talked for awhile he felt better and so did I.

Everyone has a family horror story in business as well as good stories too. What I have had is really a bit of both. I trust my cousin and I love working with him. He has also been tough to teach and train but overall he is no different than anyone else who works for me and with me. The worst part is I have found myself worrying more about us being cousins than our business prospering and growing. His actions were too complacent as I believe subconsciously he was not worrying about me as his leader or manager but instead he was dealing with me as family. I am not saying he was out for bad or trying to harm the company directly but we both had participated in an unhealthy business relationship. Business 101 is that no matter what, it is business. Business 102 is that no matter what, say it like it is and do not sugar coat it. I do not believe in setting up with cream before I nail you with the pie. “Oh you have been very good and improving. I have really enjoyed your attitude, but I am writing you up because you have been late way too much!” I think this is a horrible way to manage and I will not do it. Well, except with my cousin evidentially

We have since moved past this problem and are on to new ones, but just like this issue we will find a way to make it through them I hope. Working with family is a tough situation even when it is rewarding I feel that if you stick to the way I have stated above there will be less problems. Even when you are family there can be only one captain flying the plane. Decide who that is and then come to an agreement who will say it like is and who will respond back accordingly. Life is too short. Get all you can from it and working with family can be a great experience!

Testimonies: Unexpected death

I am not sure if death is ever expected, which is bizarre if you think about it because we are dying from the minute we are born! I also wonder is death ever timely? As I sit here writing, I am trying to imagine when my death would be timely and I just cannot settle on when that would be. I am a Christian and I have my beliefs in Heaven and God, but I still cannot think of a time in which it would be OK to die.

On December 28, 2006, I experienced an untimely and unexpected death. I was not ready for it on many levels. I was in shock once it occurred and have been recovering from it ever since. The unexpected death I am speaking about was my mother. I never expected her to die after all she was one of the main reasons I was ever alive. I owe her everything so I did not want her to ever die. I know this is selfish but even as a mature man I did not feel I should have ever expected her departure. We had a bond that was never suppose to depart. I loved her unconditionally and have ache since the day she took her last breath. The emotions I have experienced have been overwhelming to me. I keep my emotions under control pretty well but her unexpected death has obviously taken me by surprise. How will I ever deal with her death is hard to imagine right now. My birthday, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas have all passed without her here. I am struggling to pick a time when it would have been best for her to die but I am coming up short. She was needed in every month and in every situation. I need her now as I write this article to consult with her. If I pick up the phone and dial her number a stranger answers as her number has been recycled like her ashes into the earth. Her death is not needed at all during any minute of my life yet I would have never wanted her to have to bury me. That definitely would have been unexpected.

My mother lived with many health issues. She had congestive heart problems, Diabetes, Gout and other issues along the way. She survived 19 years in turmoil where most would have given in. Mother needed to die as it was unfair to her to keep suffering. She was not very old - 61 - but either way she was in a lot of pain. I celebrate her bravery as I can only imagine what she must have been feeling daily. I am selfish in my thoughts as I still wish she was here next me. She lived over a thousand miles away and yet we were neighbors. Daily phone calls and emails, letters and cards were a regular ritual with us. My birthday is in a few days and how I wish a card was coming in the mail. How did this happen? Why am I such a child still trapped in this man's body? Am I normal to be so selfish in my head? I am reluctant to even write about my thoughts for fear of being chastised or judged for such immature feelings. I never knew a life without her. She has always been as I got into fights, feared failure, graduated, got married, and had kids and every holiday. There were no before memories for me, only for her.

As my mother takes her last breath I realize this is it for us here on earth. It also becomes very dramatically clear to me that this too will be the fate of my three children one day. They too will experience unexpected death. How will they deal with this event in their life? Will it be timely for them? I would take a guess and say probably not. I do not think that anyone is ever going to be OK with death's timing that is left behind. I do believe that those who pass are expecting death to arrive, especially if they are very elderly or have serious illness or health issues. Death becomes comforting to those in pain. Sometimes for people in this state in life death is not timely enough for them as when you suffer for so long it gets tiring.

The death of my mother is tragic to me and was definitely not on my agenda for that day. I have made peace with it but still long for her motherly ways of days gone by. I wish we could rewind but that is foolish. If I ever figure out when her death would have been expected I will write another story called, “when I expected death of my mother!"

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/ 

Stop making excuses!

Thank goodness someone has finally said this out loud, even if it is me. Stop making excuses is what I am always telling people and thinking daily. You know what I am talking about don't you? You know the people who always have a great laundry list of reasons why this is not right, and that is not right, because people are always taking advantage of me. I can never get anywhere because of the government and the red tape, or my family was poor growing up. I never had a chance because I had a bad child life or my father abandoned me. Hold on, stop right there with al of that. My real father was horrible and my step father was an alcoholic but I still had the choice to choose my path. Are these people trying to sell to the rest of us that their life was predetermined from birth? This is like believing in Astrological signs that determine who you are by the date you were born. I would find this extremely depressing and helpless to know no matter what I do, my life has already been seen in the stars or because we were poor. What a hope less life you would have with no right of correction. Stop making excuses is the first place to start.

If you haven't realized it, excuses are just an OK for you not to do well or follow through on things. They are a 300lb weight of a reason in your 100 pound world. If you realize that you are excusing your life away then maybe you will stop making excuses. Excuses stop you from working. They stop you from thinking and trying. Excuses fill your head with impossibilities instead of possibilities. Will you at least consider that for every excuse you have that you have 3 reasons why you will not achieve or do something.This is powerful to realize as it can set you free. Will not understand that you are giving yourself permission to be OK with where things are at because there is a reason or excuse for it. I grew up poor and I found a way to make great money. My parents had polar opposite mindsets than me about business and money yet I found a way to make my own thoughts and have several profitable businesses. My excuse used to be we were poor and I was never taught anything different. I would have been OK with that excuse for self pity but I chose different. It fueled my fire. I wanted to be more than my parents were so i started reading about successful people and how they succeeded. I a=gave myself a chance by listening to other points of view. I now hope my children will be more than me. I hope that whatever crutch we are giving them they will choose not to use it. Do not OK your excuses ever. Put an end to excepting the status quo in this area of your life. Misery loves company and there are plenty of people out there who will join you in misery. The world is full of excuses.

So what can we do about the excuses in our life. What I know is this: Don't make excuses. Instead understand why you are where you are. Second, figure out a way to change your situation. Come up with a game plan and fight any urges to rely on any reasons. Lastly, do not allow yourself to blame anyone. Even if your situation is as horrible as rape or mugging or death of someone close to you, do not use that as a reason for anything. I know it is hard and you may be very traumatized by your situation. You will need to heal but when you do find a way out of this problem from occurring again and again. You can still have a very great life in spite of the horrific experience.

Please now join me in my way of life and stop the excuses from happening in your life as I have done in mine. If I meet you in life and I here a woe is me story from your mouth, just know I feel sorry for you. I will be thinking in my head that if this person only know what a sorry excuse that is they'd feel ridiculous.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Getting inspired

Wake up, I am talking to you! Today we are going to get inspired in our lives. The rat race is over. Today is independence day for you. I want to inspre you and I have a few questions for you. What would it take to inspire you to new levels? Have you ever though about it? Would I have to convince you it is possible with charts or examples? WOuld I have to pay you or dangle a carrot in front of your face for motivation? Would it take a tradjedy in your life to shake you? I ask these questions because I wish I knew the answer sometimes because you seem to be stagnet. I know of so many people just like you who want so much more in life but doing something about it just never seems like a viable option for them. Is it for you? Will you be able to do something about it? I really wish more people new my secret to getting inspired. I want to take you on a journey of my daily life. I want to show you what I look at everyday and help guide you to a life of inspiration. I want to inspire you to reach big and dream high. I want to encourage you to be the first female President of the United States. I want to inspire you to cure cancer or end racism. I want to inpire you to teach school children tolerance.

Life everyday to me is a series of possibilities. I look at what I see that could happen and who I can help make something happen with. I feel like I have something to share with the whole world. As I am walking down the street I see people and situations that inspire me to greatness. I want to light the world on fire. I am not necessarily a positive thinker and I do not always see the glass half full. What I do see is that there is somewhere I can go with every situation. From the moment I get out of bed I know I can do something great with today. It just is a matter of figuring out what that great is. I never shut down my brain. I am always working through possibilities of how I can make something happen. I am always looking for ways to inspire others and getting them to understand they can make a differnece. With my actions I always hope to inspire. Words are cheap but actions are grand. Mother Teresa was inspirational to millions with her actions and I am grateful.

So let's get you inspired. Let's look at your life in everyway and see what we like and dislike about it. Are your finances a mess? We can change that. Do you have struggles in your job? Maybe we need to get more knowledge or change our thinking. Are your relationships horrible? No worries, there is a plan of attack for that too. Why do you want to change? Life will pay you what you ask of it so let's ask for all we can handle! You want more. You require more and you deserve more. I am not talking materialistic items. I am talking all of life's fullfillment. I am talking all of life's desires for you. You are the master of your domain and it is time you take charge. Get up and get out of that comfort zone. Make the changes necessary for a truly inspirational life. Live your best life now and enjoy your hard work. I want this for you and so should you as it would be sad for you to not know my insprations for you. This is the life you want so grab it.

Trying to believe – living in a scared state

In the last 15 years of my life I have been blessed with a vision of possibilities in life. At Thanks Giving my family often goes around in a circle and says one thing everyone is thankful for. Mine is always the same and that is, “The possibilities in life.” I am truly excited by that every day. I live in the what could be of life. This charges me and fuels me so I can push through anything I need. What I have noticed though is often times I am alone. Not many see what I see. I am not optimistic and I am not pessimistic, I am possibleistic. Ok, that is not a real word but if it was, I would be that. People simply have an issue with what they can’t see or understand. I know if I can dream it, I can do it! I just wish I could get more to realize it. Everyone I generally talk to gets to the same place. They want more and thinks there should be more but it sounds too good to be true. I on the other hand know that it is not. I know that it takes discipline to enact change and often times there is mass amounts of discomfort from it initially but eventually it goes away. We are resilient as human beings and we have learned to adapt to so much but there are so few brave souls. Not many will take big plunges and take a chance on making things different. Instead they talk about it, and complain about it but take very little action about it. Why would you want to do this to yourself? What do you have to lose? You see, people often think that if they make change in something that they could end up less so they won’t take that chance but I would argue that they are probably already less because they are living in fear over change. Fear can drive you or it can hold you back.

So what are life’s possibilities? The list is endless. It is just like I said, if you can dream it, you can do it. Want better finances, then make it happen. Want more quality time with your family, you can do it. What your business to be more successful, you can do it. What you need to know right from the get go is, that doing the same as you always have will produce no different results. Getting something different requires you to change it up. The second thing you need to do is vision what you want to change and see it happen before you do it. This sounds hard but it is not. You are already doing it on some levels and it is called dreaming. Turn the possibilities into reality. Dream Big- Reach High is my slogan I use because it is what the world seems to be lacking. We shoot for better than it was or better than my parents. We need to raise the bar to the best I want. Make it happen today for you by being open to life’s possibilities.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Fighting Fair in a Relationship

When two people are in a relationship, the time will come when a disagreement will ensue. It doesn’t matter if it is man or women, 2 men, two women, or children, there is a healthy way to fight and there is unhealthy way to fight. Let’s look at the difference between the two.

Let’s say you are both disagreeing over something. One side is upset because he never picks up his clothes. The other side thinks she is always being nitpicky. If the focus of the argument stays with this then it would be a healthy fight. Where the problem comes in is that we all know it won’t stay with this. The next thing they start bringing up 100 other issues into the fight. You are lazy, you are always screaming, etc, etc, etc. Now we are fighting unhealthy. When the fight no longer is about the issue at hand, you have then lost all hopes of getting anywhere good. Only bad blood will come from this method of fighting. Stay on course and keep focus. Talk out why it is such a problem he nevers picks up his clothes. Let her know how her being nitpicky makes you feel uptight. Talk about the real issues and you will find that both sides have a chance at succeeding in this fight. When we bring up other issues it tends to start looking very personal and it tends to get defenses very high. When you are trying to solve an issue, you need defenses to go away. Don’t attack the other person, reason and display humbleness. Help them to see that you are sincere and willing to work this out.

The next time you are in a disagreement and it is going astray, stop and apologize and refocus the disagreement. Go back to where it began and focus on a solution.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Leadership – Am I leader

Someone once said a leader is the first one to move in a room! The question is that you? I do not believe that a leader is always the one up on stage or the one leading the troops in battle. A leader is you and me and your neighbor and your boss or co-worker. Leadership is not necessarily vocal or outspoken. To me a leader is someone who is brave and inspires. A leader is a silent voice in a noisy world. That voice of reasoning for the unreasonable. A leader will take risks when it is risky, but none of this is necessarily about public speaking or running a business. You are a leader even if you don’t recognize it. A leader could be a parent leading their children. A Pastor leading his congregation, a receptionist leading by example or a postman leading by professionalism. We all have the responsibility of leadership but few of us embrace it or understand it. What you ultimately need to do is ask yourself, what kind of a leader do I want to be?

Leadership takes a lot of courage because someone will be following. When someone is following, take the responsibility of leading them seriously. We all have different levels of leadership, so yours may be brief. Learn to embrace it. I try to my fullest to lead by my spiritual values. I hope you do to but whatever your motivation is, make it clear to yourself first. Once you decide that, then you need to watch when your followers are present. Here is what I believe you need to consider when you are in your leadership role:

1.     What guides me when I am a leader?

2.     What do I show in my actions after I speak or make my move?

3.     I am I responsible with my role?

4.     Am I getting an appropriate response?

5.     Do I feel fulfilled in my duties?

You are a leader and I want you to recognize it today. Embrace it and play your part as you have leadership duties everyday in your life. Be the first one to make a move in the room. We are all counting on someone for guidance.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/