Constant And Never Ending Improvement~C.A.N.E.I.

Using Your Will Power to Gain Happiness

Do you know what will power is? How often do you call on it to help you push through something? Understanding the true power within you will help you lead to happiness in your everyday life. Many people become unhealthy and unhappy because they cannot seem to find the key to getting all they want out of life. What I am suggesting is that everything you need in life lies inside of you. We need to learn how to call on this force called "will power."

I said the key to happiness come from will power and I meant it. Have you ever seen a little baby as it starts to develop, get upset because it is trying to do something and he or she can't seem to get the motor function down? What is the first thing that happens? The baby starts to cry right? Then I believe something starts to happen very profoundly at a young age. The baby either figures out how to use will power to get what he or she wants or it lies on its back screaming. I know it is hard to believe but I feel that many learn this young and go on to a prosperous life while some continue to struggle their whole life with it.

The reason I equate happiness with this subject is because as human beings, when we achieve, we are in a much better place. One of the best tools for this is our inner power. We need to understand how much is inside of us that we can pull from it. How many times have you been in a situation and thought to yourself, if only I could do this? What do you normally do next? For most people they will lay down and take what happens to them. For a few they will fight through it and come out strong. Those who come out strong have called upon what lies inside of the. This is what I playfully call the "Rocky Balboa" in us. You know what I mean if you have ever seen a Rocky movie. Somehow, some way, Rocky always finds a way to pull through. In the movie they call it heart, but in real life I call it will power.

For some, this strength also makes them stubborn in ways. This stubbornness will not let them lay down. This stubbornness makes them get up and go one more round. I had a friend once who was stubborn and he thought this was a good thing. The problem was it never helped him when he needed it. He was a person who always laid down and never fought. He just could not figure out how to pull his strength out from inside of him. He was just stubborn for the sake of being stubborn. It had no real value for him. 

I hope the next time you find yourself in a tough spot you will remember that you have what it takes to succeed. Do not lay down. Instead get up and push through. Life is already tough enough without you taking it. Fight for yourself so you can be as happy as you want to be.

Weight Loss Redefined

Today we are going to talk about weight loss in a different fashion than the normal everyday way. We are not going to talk about dieting, or exercise per Se. We are not going to talk so much about sacrificing, or magic pills, or crappy food to eat that are less calories. We will not count calories, eat lien cuisine, or sweat to the oldies. What I want to focus on for you in your quest for weight loss is your mind set. Weight loss redefines is the minds ability to determine that enough is enough and take massive action. 

How are all of those diets working for you? Do you here the root word in diet? The root word you here is die. That's right because every diet makes you want to die because you are so staved and so depressed from sacrificing that you would rather die than keep up with what you are doing. I have never been on a diet that works yet. There are certainly successful parts to certain diets that can be useful but overall diets are a fad or gimmick for some company to make money on. Yes some do loose weight but it has very little to do with the diet they are on. It has more to do with their mindset.

The brain is complicated for the most part but there is a simplistic side to it as well. Here is how simple the brain is when we make it this way. When we decide something, the brain will follow orders. The brain in our heads runs us on auto pilot until we wake up and take control. If no orders are given, then it decides what will go on. Some things are good for us or not harmful, but somethings are very counter productive. So ultimately no matter what we want to achieve, it is either up to us or our brains auto pilot. 

The brains main motivation is self full-filing needs. The brain can be as powerful as we need it to be providing we engage, other wise it just coast and gets what it wants. When it comes to food the brain will put you in a sugar coma if you let it. The brain will lead you to 300lbs if you do not stop it. The brain likes chemical reaction and sugars and food is just that. What you need to do instead of running to a diet is start with waking up and taking back your brain. 

Every time I have wanted to drop a few pounds or a lot of pounds I have done it. It has never been about a diet or some latest and greatest exercise guru. What happens is I stand up and say hey, I need to loose some weight so I feel better and look better. When I do this I am telling my brain, hey I got this I am taking over. The second thing I do is determine what is putting on all the weight and I re-program myself to either feel sick over those foods or put controls in place to limit my intake. When I do this it is like re-programming my computer. New directions get input and new calculations or formulas pop out. Your brain is no different. You decide how you will react. 

The next part is very important. You must say and believe this with the greatest conviction. You must believe in yourself. You must believe that you can do this. You must believe that you have the strength of 1000 men inside of you and you will bring it all out to accomplish this. You can stand on your own feet and finish this race I promise if if you will only believe. Tell yourself this, believe this and live this. Never back down again ever on this area of your life. Weight loss can happen in the same way weight gain happened, one pound at a time. 

Do not get me wrong, you need activity and exercise. You need to limit the intake of food in your mouth. You need to cut down on the sugar and sweets. Six small meals a day is much better than the 3 large ones you are doing and all the snacks. The real answer though lies in your brain and your heart.

Why Friendship Starts With the Letter "F"

What is the worse grade that you can receive in school? The letter "F" right? I wonder if it is any coincidence that the word friendship starts with the same letter as so many friends constantly fail to be "A" students in their friendships. Here is what grade you are:

A - This is the ultimate friend. They make being a friend easy. Everyone wants to be their friend because of the trust and the understanding they posses.

B - This is a decent friend but they still lack some fundamentals of friendship. All in all, they are decent friends.

C - This friend is neither outstanding nor horrible but does just the minimum as a friend. They have a moderate understanding of friendship but needs to work much harder to be a "real friend."

D. - This friend may not be a friend at all. You probably put up a bunch from them and they rarely contribute much goodness to the relationship. They lack most of the fundamental values needed for success.

F - Lacks every great quality that a friend should have. This should be a stop sign to turn around and run as they are probably very problematic and selfish. It's all about "me" with them and do not consider others. You will continually be let down by them and come up short. 

What does it mean to be a friend? I do not know your definition but mine would be as follows:

My friend will always accept my apology and will never have an issue apologizing back.

My friend knows I am not perfect and accepts me for me. My friend loves me at the end

of the day no matter how different our opinions may be. My friend will help me in a pinch no questions asked. My friend will tell me like it is no matter how harsh the truth may be. My friend

does not care about being right, just cares about doing right. My friend will not judge me but will 

not put up with me. My friend listens to me and has patience while I am talking. My friend is part         of my family. My friend will laugh with me, cry with me and fight with me. My friend is                         intelligent. My friend values others and does not trample on people's freedoms.  My friend will be         a friend no matter what.  

What is your definition of a friend? I think that for the most part we are missing what a friend really is. You should not have to work your butt off to be someone's friend. Yes, a relationship is hard work but being a friend should not be. Get to know someone before you judge them and start off wrong. Come to understandings in your friendship early on. For some new friends this is done verbally but with some it will just be understood. 

Good friends come in all packages. Keep your eyes open as you never know where your next friend will come from. My new friends are Australian and they are great people. Now when I think about Australia, i think about them. I would have never guessed I would have so much in common with an Aussie but he is like my twin. We do not need to talk about our understanding as friends. We already just get it. 

I hope from here on out you will take a moment to see what your grade is as a friend. I hope you are a straight A student but if not, you can fix that. Start with defining what you want in a friend and then be just that. 

Charlie Rose Interviews Anthony Robbins

Anthony Robbins, Motivational Speaker / Author is being interviewed by Charlie Rose in this video.

Famous quotes By Dale Carnegie

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

Dale Carnegie

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets
you, not the loss of sleep.

Dale Carnegie

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Dale Carnegie

It is not what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.

Dale Carnegie

 

Famous quotes by Martin Luther King

These famous quotes by Martin Luther King are poetically brilliant and very appropriate. What i know about being racist is that racism knows no boundries. If one class of people thinks they are exempt then one day they will be rudely awakened. Long live equality and long live freedom for all man and women:   When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative. Martin Luther King Jr.

We must learn to live together as brothers
or perish together as fools.

Martin Luther King Jr.

The good neighbour looks beyond the external accidents and discerns those inner qualities that make all men
human and, therefore, brothers.

Martin Luther King Jr

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.

Martin Luther King Jr

Famous Quotes by Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.

Albert Einstein

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any man who reads too much and uses
his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking.

Albert Einstein

The important thing is not to stop questioning.

Albert Einstein

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. Albert Einstein The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is at all comprehensible. Albert Einstein The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one. Albert Einstein

Quotes by Franklin D. Roosevelt

It is common sense to take a method and try it. 
If it fails, admit it frankly and try another.
 But above all, try something.

Franklin D. Roosevelt

Quotes by Abraham Lincoln

Below are famous quotes from Abraham Lincoln. Please enjoy the wisdom from long ago that still holds true today!

 

Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing.

Abraham Lincoln

Force is all-conquering, but its victories are short-lived.

Abraham Lincoln

Tis better to be silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.

Abraham Lincoln

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test
a man's character, give him power.

Abraham Lincoln

Personal Growth Tip #2

Always, always, take responsibility for what you do. No matter how painful or how demoralizing it may seem, taking responsibility for your actions is a self cleansing mechanism.

If you are ever going to learn then you need to be ready to take responsibility for your actions. The reason you want to always do this is that is how you will best learn from what has gone on. If you blame others then you have no action to execute. When you take responsibility then you have to deal with it in one or many ways. The process is not over at that point and you get top keep on working on yourself.

I can't tell you how many times in business I have to deal with people who spend their whole life pushing blame on others. Not once did they ever stop to think about why they keep ending up in the same miserable spot. It is always someone else who needs to deal with this as they are not responsible. I feel so sorry for them as those people do not realize all they are hurting is themselves. They are achieving no personal growth whatsoever. Instead they continue to live in a miserable state and never realizing what their life could really look like.

Do not allow yourself to give in to temptation to hide what you have done at least not to yourself. If you con yourself into believing you do not deserve what is going on then you will build in internal lies in which you will have to deal with. You can not hide from yourself so do not try.

Personal growth happens when we decide to do something about the way we are currently living or acting. When you decide to take responsibility for yourself, you then will be granting yourself permission to change your behavior. I hope you will decide to do just that this new year and be on your way to a prosperous life and much happiness.

Personal Growth Tip #1

When we go through our daily lives, we get stuck in a rut and stop opening ourselves up to what we really want to achieve. This is inevitable as life is consuming and is happening every minute of everyday. What we need to do in order to keep growing is to constantly remind ourselves that we want to keep on achieving and what that entails.

I know it may seem a little weird but do not be afraid to schedule "me time" for yourself. You can do this in a number of ways depending on how your life is structured. Nothing is ridiculous so do not worry as no one will be judging you but you.

Put post it notes everywhere you may get ready in the morning, in your car or at work. Remind yourself to work on those things you want to improve like eat better, calm down or don't stress. Again nothing is off limits so go as far as you need. Set up reminders in your phone so they will go off all throughout the day. The point of the exercise is to keep you reminded and get out of your daily rut.

Remember it is ok to drive a new way to work today. Eat lunch at a different time. Go home early, wake up late. Eat breakfast first before you shower or vice versa depending on what your normal routine is. Comb your hair left handed, brush your teeth with both hands. Do whatever it takes to change things up to keep you alive and fresh. We are human and we need constant reminders. Personal growth comes from being aware.

Please leave me a comment on my articles if they help you or if you need more helpful tips or suggestions.

No More Resolutions - Make Commitments This New Years

As 2008 comes to a close many people will start with their New Years resolutions. I say this year throw out your resolutions. They do not work and never have. What we need to do this year is have New Years Commitments! When we commitment to something, we then engage in it.

For a long time I have heard about so many New Years resolutions that people make. The gym is one of the biggest ones repeatedly made by so many. From January through February the gym is packed. By March it is eases up and by April it is back to normal. The problem with resolutions are they become like slogans to people. We do not need slogans, we need commitment.

Commitments are something we bind ourselves with. Yes, people break commitments all the time but you have a far better chance of keeping a commitment than a resolution. This year make at least 3 commitments to yourself that you will keep and make happen at all cost. We do not need 10 or 20 right now. we only need 3. Sit down, and write up a list of the top 20 things you want to change in your life. Then actually number them from 1-20. One being the most important and 20 being the least. Then take the top 3 off the list and devise a plan on how you are going to accomplish them. Once that is done make a solid commitment to making them happen

As a human being we are programmed to want change but in the end we fear change because we say it will never happen, so you figure what is the point? What I believe and know is that fear of change comes in when we do not work on changing enough. We get so used to keeping things as they were. The problem is that you will want to change something at some point in your life. How will you change if you fear changing?

Remember as Anthony Robins says, "repetition is the mother of all learning." You need to work on changing over and over again. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. If you do not like what comes about from the change then you can always change it back.

In 2009 do not make resolutions. Make 2009 your year of commitment and start getting all you want out of life. I wish you a happy New Year and I hope and pray you will seek out lasting change in your life. Life will not slow down just because you do not change. God Bless and be safe.

I will cry for you my friend!

Today I spoke with a friend about a serious tragedy in her life. We have not spoken in many years and I will not say what the tragedy was and is. She deserves her privacy. What I want to say to her is this:" I will cry for you so you don't have to." I couldn't help but tell you that as the pain and tears you have been through is too much for one person to bare. I want to help you so I give you this now. My eyes have filled up with water ever since we talked. I will now be the one who will cry so you can start to laugh again and make your life what you want.

What would you do if you were the friend, loved one or acquaintance of someone who was going through something horrific? What could you do? How would you respond? I found myself saying over and over again I am so sorry to hear that. I am sorry that happened. How many times did I say that? I felt so stupid but I did not know what else to say. So right now all I can say is I will cry for you so I don't have to say I am sorry! I am sure she has heard that enough times and I am sure she is getting nothing from it.

When we go through a traumatic experience in life we usually go into some form of shock and feel like we are in a daze. I believe when that happens God sends people into our life or back into our life for a reason. I am sure that is why we have reunited as friends. I am here to help her or she is here to help me as God works in mysterious ways.

My friend who we will call Maggie, needs our prayers and thoughts to help her heal and grow strong from this. I know there is something good for her here and I need help delivering it to her. What would you do if life became tragic suddenly? How would you function? Do you know what you would do when your life gets all turned upside down? The only thing I know for sure is I would turn to God and pray. Other than that I would do the best I can.

Maggie is doing just that and rightfully so. I do not expect more than that for her right now. I pray she figures a way out and up but she deserves all the room in the world. Maggie when I was done talking to you my heart melted and I shed tears for you. I cannot imagine what you are going through right now but just know someone cares. You are in my prayers and I am here to burden your load. If you are reading this, I ask you to say a prayer for my friend who needs your strength. Life is too short and we all need to stop every once in a while and be thankful for everything we have in our lives. We never know what God has in store(or whomever you believe in) but what we need to do in the mean time is be a friend to as many as we can while we are here.

Thank you Maggie for sharing and I hope you are not mad at me for sharing. I felt so moved to tell some of your story today in the hopes someone out there will heal from this. 

Turning it all around!

What would it take for you to turn around a bad situation? How often does that work out for you? I know for me the only situations I can't seem to turn around the most are the ones where I need cooperation from others. Working on a relationship, a team or an organization where all hell has broken loose can be a very trying experience. Most of the people that I call on to help me out to turn something around always seem to be stubborn, slow or caught up in a tailspin. Most of the time I have been the master at turning things around but lately it has been twice as much work.

I do not know why people love having so much drama in their life, but they do. They seem to create it at the work place and they seem to have it at home and even with their friends. The drama replaces common sense and decency. I always ask them why this goes on in their life and I always get a look of confusion. The look is like, " What drama?" That is what they always seem to be saying with that look on their face and I actually believe them. No, I am not a fool or someone who is naive. What I have come to discover is this; They do not know they create drama until later. Yes that is right I said not until later when they look around and see no one around them. That is the moment I believe they realize they create drama, but sadly enough they start again the next time like an endless cycle that repeats itself for eternity.

I have confronted many of people like this and it is one of the most frustrating things I have ever done. It is like trying to get an alcoholic or drug addict to kick the addiction. You are not dealing with the person, you are dealing with the drama. You could cure cancer easier than getting someone to recognize the destruction they are causing with there drama. I really hate the word drama in this sense but nothing describes it better for what it is. Life is like a stage and the dramatics they deliver is so important to them! I bring up drama in trying to turn things around depending on the situation because it is usually the number one cause of why you or I have turmoil. People hurting themselves and you and have no clue they are doing it.

So what does it take to turn around a bad situation other than getting someone to recognize their drama? There are no rules when you are trying to turn the tide. It's a dog eat dog world and you better be prepared to dig in and do what it takes to do this. It is like a merry go round. Remember when  you were a kid trying to get that thing going in one direction? First you expend so much energy getting it going and then it starts to take off. Easier and easier it get turning around. Then, do you remember what happens when you try and stop it and take it the other way? it almost rips your arm off when you grab it and then it takes a lot more energy to go the other way because of your equilibrium and your strength has diminished a bit. Turning around situations are a little like that but a whole lot worse as a merry go round is a physical object you can manipulate. People are not the same in this case and even if you do manipulate them, they realize it sooner or later and start fighting you even worse. What needs to happen is you need to re motivate the principles in your problem. Who are the players involved and why are we at where we are at? Once you have this down then you must be prepared for battle. You have got to watch yourself though as I have found myself getting caught up in it and have gotten a little out of control. Once the battle heats up you may have a tendency to say or do things that are not the ordinary for you. Keep yourself calm, cool and collected and turn the problem into a positive.

When I am working on turning around a problem I find I need to keep me and my people, friends or team motivated continually painting a picture for all to see where we could be instead of where we are. Do not give up hope as if you keep on working the situation, something good will come out of it!

How to improve your communication skills

Improving your communication skills is the key to having fulfilling relationships. No matter what relationship we are talking about, having clear, honest and open communications will increase your chances of success in the long run. In order to improve your communication skills you must understand that you must also get good communication back from the other party. You do not have the option of force so what you will have to do is encourage and train. That other person may be a lousy communicator with others but with you they will be superior as you command good communication in your relationships. Let's look at how we can improve our communication skills effectively.

First, start with your demeanor and personality. We must put off a vibe so to speak that says we are an affective communicator. We must live it and breathe it to all we encounter. We need to improve ourselves in our confidence in communicating to others. You must understand why we want to improve our communication skills because we want to be understood. In order for that to occur we need exact instructions to others.

Second, speak clearly and effectively using examples if necessary. If you are writing, then write neatly and draw a clear picture for whom the written form is intended. Do not get complicated in your communication. Instead be clear, concise and firm. Remember, presentation is everything in communicating so become a great presenter. Let the person know you are communicating with that you are like a seasoned actor who draws in the audience. The more of their attention you grab the better. Most peoples attention span is thirty seconds. If they are not connecting with you and drawn in then you will have even less time with their mind. Your communication skills need to constantly be perfected so never pass up an opportunity to practice them.

Do not leave anything open to interpretation that you do not want left open. Go as far as you need with the person that you are dealing with to make sure that your point is well understood with out guessing. If you fall short then they will fill in the blanks and we do not want that! We want to be in charge of our own communications and we want to be heard as we intended the message. We have our own voice to be heard.

Get the other party to participate in the communication. The more active you can get the other side the better then you will know they are receiving what you are doing. All communication on your side with no response from the other is side should be scary to you. We want affirmation that they understand and that the communication is good. If there is are objections or questions we want to know now not later. Do your best to engage your audience.

Lastly, have a clear plan before communicating. The more organized your communication is the better. If your other party involved with the communication is confused because it is disorganized then we will lose all chance of accomplishing our goal. For instance, if we are communicating with our spouse about how they spend too much money and we lay out our communication talking about the types of products they buy and how expensive they are. Then the message may be to change up my choice of products and get a better value for the dollar in their mind. Then he/she may keep spending as much money but get more products for the same price may be the message received. Figure it out before you open your mouth. Having to rehash the same message will be irritating to your spouse and you will have little chance to succeed.

Improving your communication skills has to be habit forming. They need to be used at work and at home. Communication skills will improve over time depending how much work you put into them. Do not give up as eventually your correct message will be heard the way you want it to be heard. I hope I communicated all of this clearly. 

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Avoiding domestic violence

When domestic violence is present in a relationship, avoidance is the last thing that will occur. I have seen domestic violence get worse but I have never seen anyone avoid it. I am sad that there are people are out there in relationships that are attacking their spouses. What I want to understand is why do you attack on the weak? I also want to ask the ones who are being attacked, “Why do you think you can avoid the situation?” You never did anything to make it occur in the first place, so trying to keep things calm is not the answer. Why not shake things up and make some waves? If your domestic violence is really bad then at some point it will probably turn fatal or very harmful. Why not give yourself a chance and start fighting back?

Now I do not necessarily believe that violence is the answer but I do believe violence is already definitely happening. Sometimes, like it or not, it takes fire to fight fire. Maybe when you are being beaten on and feeling weak, why not try and swing back? What about getting away and running? Why not call 911? I do not know the answer but I do know there is an answer. I have seen the effects of someone being scared from an abusive person. I know you feel frozen and it seems impossible to think. I do not know how you feel but I have an idea you must feel helpless. What I am hoping for you is that you realize that not doing anything will only lead to a building of abuse and maybe you might end up dead. I do not want that for you ever. I want you to know that you can make it through this and the way to do that is to take action.

So why is domestic violence so crippling? I know if you stop and think about it you would tell me it is because the person who is abusing you knows you better than anyone. They know your habits, your thoughts, your fears, your weaknesses. They know you intimately and they know you angrily but what they do not know about you is your strengths. These abusers fail to see this in you. Your abusers are bullies who prey on the weak. They have never seen your strengths and do not realize that you can be strong. They have exploited every weakness in you but they will never consider your strengths. That is your abusers weakness you can exploit. Use your strength against them. When I wrestled in junior high and high school, I learned that the best tactics to winning were using the other wrestlers strengths against them. Their weaknesses then became exposed and soon enough I would have my hand raised. Will you consider yourself strong enough to overtake your abuser? If you understand my wrestling story, then you will realize you do not have to be the strongest. Just use their strength against them and get out alive. It is possible and you do have strength inside of you. You just need to find it and bring it out. The best offense is to be low key until you are ready to play your cards. Some are strong enough to stand up and be tough but for the rest of you, be quiet until it is time to strike. Do not resort to violence unless it comes down to defense. There are so many options available to you.

How is the abuser gaining access to your fears? Are you giving them up easily? Change things up and try and not act so scared in front of your abuser. Do not play tough as it will agitate them but instead confuse them with new actions. Make them reconsider their actions by the way you are adapting to a changing environment. Let them consider that maybe they do not know you as well as they thought. Get more people involved in an indirect way. Have more people around more often and do not try and act like you are frozen. You can also go to a battered women’s shelter, call the police or get some protection. You can call the local news channel or write an article and publicize what is going on. I know none of it seems great but not taking action is still way worse. Have the power to know action is needed and I believe in you. I do not know you but I know what you can do because I have seen it in others like you. They stood up and fought for you to inspire you. Today can be your day and you can start over and get this looser out of your life. Learn their weaknesses.

I know a girl who was being abused by an ex-boyfriend. He was stalking her and more. I will not tell you the details but what eventually solved the problem were my nudging and her knowledge of him. He was doing something so dumb that it eventually got him in a lot of trouble and taken away to jail. He is awaiting trial but we are hopeful he will go away for a long time. In case you do not know it, people who abuse women and children on the outside, get dealt with in prison, do not last long inside. At least, they will have a lot of very rough days inside. Remember, you can never avoid domestic violence but you can change it.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

What will you do?

One day life will punch you in the stomach with a situation that may be life threatening or a tough situation. This is a guarantee in life. The question will not be how will you avoid it? The question will be, “What will you do about it?” How will you respond to life’s challenges? I know that you have two choices. One will be that you can just lie down and the other is that you can rise up and face the challenge. The choice will always be yours. The outcome is depended on your attitude.

What will it do for you to give up? I was talking to one of my attorneys one day and he told me about one of his clients. He had walked by the client in the parking lot one day (they had offices in the same complex) . He asked his client how he was doing and his client said, “Well I have just found out I have prostate cancer and I am closing down by business. I will probably not see you next year as I will more than likely be dead!” He would die three months later as he had already decided he would die! The brain is a powerful tool and when you tell your brain what is going to happen, it makes it happen. Now I am not God or a doctor but I am pretty sure that his client could have made it a long time if he could change his mind. I mean think about what he did. He prepared his store for closing as he had already lost. He was willing to accept his sentence and take the death sentence. In the book by Lance Armstrong called It’s not about the Bike; Lance shows a spirit that said to the world that he will not lie down and die. His mother and his wife had the same spirit. His friends and family all were resolved to beat this cancer he had. He had testicular cancer which is very fast moving. He decided that he had no choice but to beat it and he did. He also went on to have a career that has been even more victorious than before the cancer. Lance showed me that I decide how the show ends by the way I think. Giving up is never an option for me. I have never had cancer and I hope I never do but if I do, I will not lay down and die. What will you do if you had cancer? What do you do if you are bankrupt? What do you do when your kids act up? How about when you are fighting with your spouse or if your business is failing? Do you lay down and take it?

I know that when harsh situations and bad circumstances present themselves in life you go into survival mode. This is very normal and you are not alone but consider this if you will. What would happen if you decided not to survive but instead you decided to thrive instead? Think about that idea. Instead of just getting through the situation, you actually came out ahead. How amazing would that feel to you? Wouldn’t that just empower you forever? Wouldn’t you just continually be able to take every bad situation and turn it around as once you learn the secret to success, it changes the whole way you approach situations. Life will never change. You will always be presented with these unavoidable realities and you will always have a choice how you deal with them. No, life will not always come out exactly how you want, but you will have a much better chance at making it the way you want it. Do not lie down or go into survival mode. Rise up and take a stance on the outcome. Be brave and face down adversity and give yourself a fighting chance. If I am wrong, then you will still die of cancer. If I am right, then you will be in permanent remission and living a full life. Call me on your one year reunion of your remission. I would love to add you to my success stories.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Living with alcoholism through adolescent eyes

One day he went to the doctor because he was not feeling very well. Like lines on a map, alcohol was taking a toll on his body. His face was weathering to that old familiar look. They had run tests 3 days earlier and the doctor wanted him back to discuss the results. This is never a good sign but alcoholics generally do not pick up on things of intuition. The doctor said to him,” I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is you can go home and have all the beers you want. The bad news is you will only get to enjoy them for a short while because you are killing yourself by way of alcohol.” He was killing his liver. Now I do not know how he put down the bottle that day, but what I do know is that he never put down the tenancies that got him to that point. You see alcoholism is not just about the liquid you drink or prefer. I do not care what any doctor tells you about alcoholism. If they do not talk about the alcoholic tenancies that must be put down then you have only won half the battle and gained half the truth.

Like most of you, I thought alcoholics were about drinking. It seems simple enough on the surface. Too much alcohol equaled alcoholic. My mother always said, “Most anything in moderation was ok for you.”  My step father must have missed that lesson and so must have my aunt and real father. Alcoholism does not start with a drink. It does not start with several drinks. What it starts with is a personality that has to drive the whole alcoholic train. Alcoholics get started with a personality of what is called personality tenancies. These tenancies are what drive a person to drink. Like demons in the night, alcoholics are haunted and are almost driven to drink. Some are aggressive people, some are passive people but they all have one thing in common. They all have habits that are neurotic and compulsive and that the alcohol will intensify.

My step father was the aggressive type. He would get violent with every drink. He lost all ambition the more he would pound his drink of choice. Budweiser in a tin can was his drink. I am not against Budweiser (although they had a play in my tragedy), as every person has the choice to drink in moderation. He could drink more beer than most people could drink water. To this day I do not know how he drank so much liquid. He was not a very nice man or father back when he drank. I do not know how my mother ever put up with him and all he did. I do not know how my brother and I ever turned out so well as alcoholics will steal families and dreams without a conscience. They are not aware of what they do except that they continually need more alcohol. They are chasing that high that came the first time they drank. Oh how they think their problems disappear with the booze. What they never realize until it is too late is that the problems will wait for you by the front door until you are done. They do not vanish or go away because you keep on drinking. They will pile up like newspapers until you pick them up and do something with them.

I am a survivor of an alcoholic family. I have lived through the yelling and the senseless fighting. The grease stains on the wall from food being thrown at it. I have witnessed the drunk driving and the all nighters that occurred regularly in our lives. I have survived a hell that no child should ever see much less any person. My childhood was taken when it comes to safety and security for the devil himself would enter our modest home nightly through a Budweiser can. I was a child afraid of a liquid and yet what I came to know later was that it was the habits that my step-father had that were the problem.

I believe that if you have no love in your life, then you are in trouble as tough love is no real love. Tough love is a recipe for alcohol. Going through life the tough way is a personality that reeks of alcohol. If you are a person with no spine and the world walks on you then you are in trouble as a paper bag will find its way into your hands more than likely. When you are an alcoholic, you need to discover what tenancies you have that is driving you to drink. Simply putting down the bottle will not stop all of the nightmares and rough life style. Seek out what ails you and fix it. When my step-father quit drinking, he was still an aggressive, combative, tough love kind of guy. He was still lacking crucial social skills outside of a bar. He had not figured how to function without alcohol flowing throw his blood as he had nowhere to go and hide anymore. He became even more angry and bitter with every passing day. His answer to anyone who crossed him was to beat them up or sue them for everything. He was a tough role model to follow as I was only 12 and beating up or suing everyone at my age was difficult. There had to be a better choice. Why couldn’t he see that his methods were disastrous and that even you know he was no longer drinking, he was still hurting our family. He needed to learn to stop all the anger and the aggressive behavior and the very attitude that made him an alcoholic. He would never get better until he stops acting like an alcoholic for beer was only the magnifier that gave him an excuse for his behaviors.

Now my story comes out great in the end as I am not an alcoholic and neither is my brother. As for my step father, I believe he is still on step 11 or however many steps there, he is one step away from kicking alcoholism. He has succeeded in most areas but still holds on a bit to those tenancies. I think age has slowed him down a bit and so has the passing of my mother. I hope one day when he gets to heaven that he will realize that only God needs to forgive him and that thank God he sent my mother to rescue him. As for me, I will do my best to not let people forget what my mother has taught me and that is “most anything in moderation is not bad for you!”

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. 

Who are you to judge others?

Judge and ye will be judged. This is pretty logical thinking as everyone I have ever met who has been judgmental is always in the hot seat. Playing judge and jury is great until you are in the defendant’s chair. Who are you to judge as life on its own is a tough thing to negotiate? Watch how you put yourself in a position of judgment as one day your time will come to be in the lime light.

I do not know when we all decided that we could be the judge of others. It just seems to start happening from the beginning when we are kids. It starts slowly and it builds. At some point we either learn to stop doing it so much or we kick into overdrive. Judging others is addicting and is hard to stop once you are an adult who had done it all your life. I know for me that it was and is a very hard habit to break. I have learned to take judgment for others and turn it into trying to help others without imposing my lifestyle on others. I know about judging as I have come under so much scrutiny in my life in the past. It has slowed down to nothing since I have cut it out. I would get judged for things I didn't even do and I would be outraged. What finally calmed me down was that I figured it was god's way of punishing me for all of the things I did do that I didn't get punished for. I also learned that the less I judged, the less I was judged.

What does it mean to judge others? Judging others is when you think you were appointed to be in a position to impose yourself on another. Most of the time I find those who are judging others are either being rude or are arrogant in thinking they are better. Either way, they are usually wrong. Judging is being critical towards others and it leads to hurtful feelings. Constructive criticism is to be helpful and should be welcomed. Judging others because you disapprove should not be acceptable. I do not know when judging others is helpful except in a court room and even then it is tainted.

In owning a business I unfortunately have to pass judgment all the time, in doing so for many years I have tried to get people to judge themselves in situations. I have found this to be very effective and it keeps me from judging others. I do not mind judging situations but people are very difficult and dangerous. I have guilt that I may be harming someone because of my judgment. I am a leader and it comes with the territory but I feel I have a responsibility to ensure I am not hurting my people with an unfair label. I want more from people so I must do my part to make sure I never cause them harm by my judgments. i have lived being unfairly judged and I do not like it. I am not a complainer but I know my own feelings in this matter. If I am going to be judged then I want to be judged on my own merits and without bias from people. I now I am not alone in this and I hope by writing this article I will inspire others to think about it before they judge others. As Americans we are judged worldwide and not always in a good manner. At some point in our life we need to understand the full impact of this action. I hope we will start today and realize it only takes one person to start leaving the gable at home.

Why did I go weak?

2007 was a very trying year for me in so many ways. It is hard as I say that because it also was awesome in so many ways. The finality of the year has recently just piled up on me and has finally staggered me. Lately I feel like there is a ton of bricks sitting on my chest and it is hard to breathe. I know what to do in both my personal life and my business life but I feel like I have failed lately. I want only the best for me and everyone around me but I am coming up short. Why did I go weak? I do not need to look for answers as I have them. I know what it takes to succeed and take care of myself but I have taken the focus off of where they should have been. So today I am apologizing to myself for doing that and I am forgiving myself for this time of weakness. I am human and I deserve to falter from time to time. I will work hard to clean up my messes and make corrections so they do not occur again like this. I know that I am strong overall and can make it through anything in life. I have stared down so much worse than any of this so I will not be afraid. I will conquer any and all of this and I will come out better than when I started. I only hope that you, my readers will also forgive me. I have not failed you, I have grown more. I have not failed you; I have helped you to succeed more. I know you have gone through this also, so we will heal together. We are human and we will fail from time to time. Do not let it make you lose hope or your passion for all you do. Today is a new day and we have the ability to start again.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

How to find your true passion

I am Teacher!

Some people will search their whole life and never find their true passion. They will live in a world wanting something so bad and they may never figure out what it is they desire. Many will talk about passion and many will know something about passion but few will find it. That is very unfortunate as I believe we can all find our true passion in life. I am Teacher!

I want you to ask yourself one question. I want you to ask yourself what puts the most joy into your heart in life. There are plenty of events and things that make you feel good and you enjoy them but what is really an awesome experience when it occurs? What would you change your whole life for because it is so awesome?  Whatever the answer is I would start making it your daily life. If you are one of the lucky ones who succeed in this, your life will never be the same. Trust me as I know how it feels. I am Teacher!

I found my passion through a series of events in my life. I wanted so much and wanted to be so much but lacked a lot of understanding. I thought I wanted other things in life never realizing I wanted something completely different. What I wanted was to teach people. I wanted to leave a mark on this world that was and is positive and I just couldn't figure out how to do it or if it was even something worth doing. I struggled with this for a long time until one day it was all too clear to me. I am Teacher! I had finally taught someone a great lesson and they applied it to their life. I was transformed from that day on and I will never look back. I had to look long and hard to figure out what motivated me and made me feel like a million bucks every day. I needed something that would fuel my fire even during the rough times. I needed passion in my daily life and I have found it. I love what I do and would not change it. People frustrate me daily but because I am so full of passion for what I do I keep pushing through. I know I can succeed in all that I do and I have hope for a bright outcome. What I have learned is that you too can find your passion and have all your dreams become a reality.

Do you ever wish that your life was different? Do you ever wish that you can lead the life that you want on your terms and not everyone else's terms? I would beg you to understand that life without passion is like having very little air to breathe. You can do it but you will struggle and work twice as hard. What is holding you back? You have to find the secret to living a full life and having joy daily. The secret is in finding your passion and living it. To find your passion, I have created some questions that should lead you to discovering what your true passion is. I have a long extensive list but I will get you some to get you on your way.

What motivates you long term? Short term motivation doesn't last. Knowing what is long lasting is the key to passion. What do you love in life? Love is a powerful emotion that has a lot of value. Discover what you love and understand it. If you are not doing it now as a career, what career would you love to have? Why settle for something else when anything is achievable. Who inspires you? Why not learn from someone who already has it figured out? What would your life look like if you found your passion? See it first, live it second. What do you dread doing in life? Make sure that you are not doing it now or that it is part of your true passion. What you need to do with these questions is ask them to yourself, and then be open and free to answer them. Getting passionate is not a quick process. It takes time and patience to understand so do not take these questions lightly. If you discover your true passion then you will be happy that you took the time to discover it. Anything good is not always easy upfront so do not give up. I know you will discover your true passion soon. I am grateful I have found mine and that I have taken the time to share it with you. I am Teacher!

Best ways to reduce stress

There are two types of stress in life. One stress is helpful and can drive you to peak performance and one stress will kill you quicker than you can imagine. I point this out as it is very helpful to understand the stress that you want to reduce. Reducing good stress is counterproductive. I own several businesses and am on the move constantly. I have several methods to reduce bad stress and a lot of times replace it with good stress. I also have worked really hear on correcting my mind set not to make everything so big and so final. "This too shall pass" my mom would always say and I believe it daily. If I do not take on all the world's problems I am fine. I do what I can do in my world and that keeps me grounded. I believe when you try and take on things that are impossible then you begin to get stressed out and overwhelmed. I am not insinuating by any means do not reach high. I am simply trying to suggest not to put yourself in a losing battle right off the back. We tend to stress when we feel defeated right from the get go. Take on new challenges that are smart and not insane.

When I first wake up I start by clearing my thoughts in my head. I get organized on what the day is going to bring me. I tell myself I will attack today with my best. I then thank God for another day in this life. From the time I wake up until I arrive at one of my offices, I work on my attitude. I also prepare myself mentally over the tasks I have to take on. I am then ready for my day. I often at some point in the day close my door and have me time. I like to just think and dream. I take a deep breath and let it out in a controlled manner. I let go of any bad thoughts and ideas I have in my head. They are not productive. I then re-challenge myself to perform better and reach new heights. I put good stress on me and let it drive me. I do not give myself an out and make sure I accomplish what I want and need. I then rejoin my day. I make a deal with myself daily I will stop myself when I feel myself getting worked up.

I also exercise in some way daily. Exercise is a great stress reducer. You do not have to run a marathon just get in 20 minutes or so and break a sweat. When I do not exercise I feel tense. I then put on weight and I get irritable. When I work out I feel awesome and oddly enough I feel a whole lot more stress free. I also meditate in my own way. I use reading as a form of meditation and also video games. For me those two activities focus my thoughts on only what I am doing and I always feel fresh after I have done them. I give my brain time off from real life if even for thirty minutes.

I stretch as often I can throughout the day. When I stress I get tight all over so little stretches here and there really help including my hands and arms. I usually take a few more deep breathes during stretching as well. I do all I can to be calm at all times.

My last stress reducer is what I call visualizing. When I am struggling through something or if I am so stressed out I cannot think I visualize what it will look like when I solve the problem. I need to see it before it happens so I can take comfort in the fact it will be solved. If you feel hopeless then you will continue to build stress. Sit down and see the resolve and work out the details ahead of time. You will be surprised how effective this will become for you.

These are just a few gems I use to reduce stress. I use whatever I can to keep bad stress away. I know it is fatal and I eliminate everywhere I can. You can eliminate a lot of stress if you start focusing on eliminating it. As I complete this article I feel the stress flying away from me as writing is also a stress reducer for me.

Reflections on real life heroes

I had always thought that I needed to look to famous people my whole life for a hero. It had to be huge and widely televised for me to have a real hero. He/she had to be tall and shiny and with a lot of glamour to them. I felt they had to stop slavery or have a home run title to be a hero. I thought that they would cure cancer or break a milestone in an amazing field. I understood that a hero had to be passionate and caring. I knew they had to reach people's hearts and inspire but what I didn't get was that I was living with a real life hero under my roof. At the risk of sound typical or even like I am a mama's boy I will tell her story without fear. My real life hero was my mother.

Now my mother was not famous for her speeches and she never won a Nobel prize but she was way wise beyond her years. She definitely was not a sophisticated women with words or grace but oh how she could light up a room with her smile and her caring heart. I missed for so many years how much of a hero she was until I finally started paying attention to all the subtle ways she had given me so much to work with in my life. My mother was from a big family and she had high morals. Her speeches were about doing the right thing and paying your bills and loving one another. She had a way of listening to people that told them that she really did care about what they were saying and all of this with no words. The older I have gotten the more I want to be like her. She was passionate and caring to the fullest with those she came in contact with. Having seen her miracles with my own two eyes, i am a believer in her. She has touched so many lives that she will never be forgotten in this life time or the next. My hero would help set you straight and not stop until she did. My hero would be there for you until the very end of whatever was ailing you. Mother was a giver of herself and never had any regrets about it. If you were cold, she would warm you up one way or another. My hero was not just mine as she was the world's hero also.

My hero had a lot of sayings all the time that just seemed so unsophisticated to me. i would minimize what she was saying at times. Mother would say things like, “you keep acting like that and you will get rewarded one day as pay back is a bummer." She was referring to me having kids one day and yes she was right. I have been since punished. She would say," Robert, you can do a million good thing but one bad thing wipes them all out." I have also learned this lesson too. "Do one to others as you would want others to do unto you." No, she didn't come up with this one but she knew what she was saying here also. I swear to you she had a million of them and I have yet to find one she was wrong in. The thing is she wouldn't just use them once. She would keep using them until you would finally hear them. A hero is unrelenting and never waivers. My hero definitely never relented and thank goodness for that.

I expect my heroes to walk the walk and talk the talk. I never witnessed my hero not coming through. She very rarely missed worked. She always found a way to pay her bills on time and I never caught her cheating at anything. She never gave up on anything even you know I knew she wanted to. She had two jobs her whole life and had glowing references. She had good grades in school and loved her children unconditionally. She was never in a rush to have a good conversation with anyone. She listened when she needed to listen and gave advice when the time called for it. I do not know how she ever became so precise in her methods. It is amazing the more I think about the magic she created in her life. It takes great skill to do and be the way she was yet she did it so gracefully and fluently.

What do your real life heroes look like? Mine was 5'3" and a little portly. She was middle class and not fancy. She was not famous except to all the people in our world. Her speech was plain yet her message was so powerful. Heroes to me now come in all shapes and sizes. They may or may not be famous to the world but can be to my world. I am looking for them now more than ever thanks to what my mother has inspired in me. She was such a humble person never looking for the lime light or any praises. She didn't need to be told how great she was or how smart she was. She was just looking for a good conversation or a smile. She wanted you to know that someone cared about you and loved you. She wanted you to believe in yourself and to live for God. She didn't require much from life but one good day at a time. I am not sensationalizing my hero as she has already done that herself. I have exaggerated any part of her life. In fact I have missed so much about her. She was much larger than life and we are all better people to have known her. Mother is now gone one year but is still a real life hero daily because of all she left behind. Do not be sad as she has done her job and still lives inside of me and my brother.

Reflections: Living every day with passion

I love my life as it is full of great surprises. I have a genuine love for life as I take strength in the power of who I am and what I want to be. In looking back on my life that has not always been the case. I had so much to give but was just missing something. I had no idea that there could ever be more to life than what I was living. I had people around me who seemed to be in the same mindset. We were all just living. From people I worked with to people I played softball with just seemed to be going through the motions. I really knew no better until one day I finally discovered what I had been missing. I was missing one key element in my life that would change it forever. What I discovered was that i was missing passion in my life! I was really non-existent before the day I discovered it. It has been a process but there was definitely a turning point in my life when I finally said that I am going to live everyday to the fullest I can reach for. I am going to love what I do and who I am. Thank goodness something finally woke me up and fueled my life. In finding my Passion I started becoming more aware of who was around me and how they affected me. The more I noticed the more I wanted to help so I started out on a mission. I have been a business owner for a long time and I have noticed over the years that there are a lot of people out there just going through the motions. They just do not seem to light up a room when they enter. I know they have the ability to but for some reason they just choose not to as if they are not empowered to. I watch them and I observe them and know they have potential. I just wish i could show them a DVD about where I came from. I too was one of them and lacked luster for all I did. I too was just going through the motions and I just wish they could see a different side. When I was younger I would want so much out of life. I enjoyed my life no matter where I was at. I had great times and bad but looking back I saw no real difference. I lacked very real understandings of why I came across people that had such peace in their heart and an extra skip to their walk. I was just living my life as I knew fit. Thank goodness for me I had a lot of drive that would eventually push me to something bigger in life. I found the fountain of youth and the keys to the gold. I feel so radiant with a charge in my voice and a glow to my heart. I have a force field around me that can be felt for miles. I love writing this article in the hopes that I can inspire one at a time. I live with passion daily and I hope I can share it with you. What would it take to get you springing out of bed daily? What would it take to get you all the energy in the world to accomplish all you want out of your life? I believe that the answer is most definitely passion. The question you are probably thinking is, "what is passion and what can it do for me?" Passion is living with your heart and mind wide open and loving every minute of it. Passion is knowing what you should be doing in life and actually living it. Passion is having a romance with yourself and loving yourself. Passion is having the courage to let it fly and enjoy the experience. Once you find passion then you can define it for yourself. I do not get to do that for you as when you find passion you will know it. Passion gives me a warm feeling and a confidence inside. I really cannot give you a straight forward answer on what passion is. I know I have it and I have witnessed it in other people. It is the smile on someone's face for no reason and it is drive in the guy next door for his career. Passion is about living in the moment with no regrets. How is passion found then if you don't have it now? The first piece of advice I have for you is learn to live life on your own terms. Become the dictator of your life and dreams and control your destiny. Do not give up power to anyone in this area of your life. Figure out what would be a great life for you and make it start happening. Have guidelines that you live by that equates to your best life. You will be so surprised how fast your life will turn around if you do this. I have so much more energy for what I do each and every day now. I do so much in my daily life but have no regrets ever in it. I live my life to the fullest always. The second piece of advice I have for you is find out what you love. To have passion in your life, you must love what you do and enjoy doing it. You will find that you will skip to the beat of your own drum if you do this. For me I realized I love teaching and inspiring so I have built a life plan around it. The last piece of advice is spread the word about who you are. Let your light shine on those around you and let them feel the passion pouring out of your soul. The more people feel the passion, the more you will feel it. Passion builds on itself and multiplies exponentially. Encourage others to live a passionate life that you live with and hang around with. You will enjoy it even more this way. Share what you learn so it reminds you of why you live this way. Successful and happy people congregate together. They know that the health of their mind depends on it and do not take chances with it. In looking back on my life I was never as happy as I am now. I know I can make a difference and I know that I love who I am and what I do daily. I want to spread the word to everyone I meet and help them find their passion in life. I hope you will join me in my mission to live your fullest life now. Look back at your life one day and have no regrets for you will not get back this day ever.

Reflections: Fear

When I grew up, my life was my own but it took me sometime to realize that. I had fear about everything that I felt I had no say so in. I felt I was dealt a short hand in life. My mother divorced when I was 4 and my father played no active role in my life. At some short point we would move to a rough neighborhood in Los Angeles. By seven years old I was running the streets. I had a home but mother worked two jobs. I often kidded I was her third job. By seven years old I was fighting in the streets like no kid should. By 12 years old I had concussions several times, stitches, bruises and broken bones. What I was fearing was being alive by the age of eighteen so I could graduate high school. This too was my mom’s fear as she would cry several nights over it.

My daily life was not right. I have always been a big boy and needless to say as white as can be. The neighborhood I grew up in was other races I was not. They just seemed to love me. Love to hurt me, fight me or spit on me. At first I lost every fight. I was by all accounts a real wimp. Unfortunately or fortunately, I started winning at some point. I am now a grown adult in my thirties and know people who have never been hit or in a fight. Me on the other hand I have been in over 200, most before I was even in high school. When I say a fight I mean from fists to baseball bats to golf clubs. Many of the boys who wanted to hurt me traveled in packs. I don't recall much getting beat up by one person. It always seemed like three or better. Life has a way of hardening you and I was definitely getting there by fourth grade. It got so bad that one day I was angry with this boy Louis that I kicked him as hard as I could which took a clip board and went through his lips. He would be scarred for life and I wouldn't even flinch because he had tried to punk me. This is a term used when you run the streets. Now it means something else but either way why do I know it? I am in elementary school for heaven's sake. Is this normal to others?

At some point we would move to a town called Downey where I would end up graduating from but by this point in life the streets are deeply imbedded in me. You can take me out of the streets but you just can't seem to take the streets out of me. I wasn't there 3 days when I was fighting and getting trouble. I was still getting in fights with multiple kids except this time they are of the same ethnicity. I am confused as why do these people not like me? I just can't win. Here is where the real fear comes in my story.

For the next ten years I continue on with my life living like I still have to protect myself but I really don't anymore. I live in a nice neighborhood and have nicer things and better people to be around yet I still continued on with my tactics. I then graduate from high school still looking at the world like my battle grounds. The difference becomes though I am now an adult and getting in trouble fast. What I really started fearing was, will I end up with a horrible life because I will not change? My motto became at a young age that I will hit you before you hit me! My motto at 20 was I will hit you before you hit me! At 27 my motto was I will hit you before you hit me! I was afraid that it will never stop. Even when I was right, I was wrong because I became so aggressive. I had to in order to survive the life I was living yet I never realized I could stop it. Finally like a lot of lessons in life I learned that I had all the power and strength that I needed to do what I needed to do. Nine years later I am way more laid back. I still have that tiger in me but it has been tamed to the point where I pick and choose when I need to be aggressive. I will never be walked on or ran over but I am way more sophisticated about defending myself. The fear was real in me for a long time that I was never going to change. I would lie up late at nights with a pit in my stomach. I knew life wasn't that violent I had just never lived it. My mother was kind and loving and so was the rest of my family but I was a terror on wheels just waiting for you to attack me so I could pounce on you quicker than you could ever even think about it. I was always planning and looking for escape routes in case you cornered me. I looked at everything around me in case I needed a weapon. I trusted no one and was not trust worthy.

I often wondered if I traded away my youth for survival. If I were to show you a picture of me as a child I would look innocent but the real flesh was a different story. I felt at the time that I was a product of my environment yet now I know I was a product of my fear. I probably didn’t need to do half of what I did but I made the choices I did. I hid in dumpsters and bushes. I got suspended from school so many times I couldn’t give you a real number. I cried because I was scared and I cried because I was angry. Childhood was supposed to be innocent and graduating high school should have been exciting but instead I was living in fear and denial. I was big but I could run. I was fearful of so many yet feared no one.

Fear is deep in everyone's heart. Fear can drive you or it can hold you down like a ton of bricks. Let what has made you weak in the past make you strong again as you were intended to be. I now know I am not on the street and that I can act and be who I want to be. Life is a gift that I have been given and I want to cherish every moment of it. I will no longer fear that I can’t change because I have done it so many times. Overcoming this fear is what has led me to so many more changes.

Where can faith be found?

I do not believe that faith is found in a building. Faith is not delivered in a confessional box or by a man in it. Faith has never been beaten into a person or forced upon a child. Children just know that God is real or that the tooth ferry will visit or the Easter Bunny will come during the night. Children know the secret that faith must be found in your heart each and every day. I do not know if you are a Christian or a Buddhist but I do know that if you are ever going to find faith it will start deep in your heart and grow from there.

I do not remember the first time I heard about God but I believe it was somewhere around four years old. We grew up Catholic and were taught about God from the very beginning of life. Grandmother and grandfather had a taste in their mouth that was as sweet as melon for the Lord and it was defiantly passed down through our generations. When I was a child I did not know any better but to believe in God. I had no reason to fight it but I am not sure it was ever deep in my heart as it became one day. I was saved in a parking lot by my youth minister. His name was Chet and I had decided that it was time I fully except God into my heart. It was tough as there I was sitting in a Jack n the box parking lot amongst walking by spectators. I would have never been able to do that without my faith and love for God. From that moment on I learned a lot about myself. Faith is not just about faith in God but about believing in things I can’t necessarily see or touch. If I was ever going to get somewhere in life I would have to do just as I did that day in the parking lot. Open my heart and find the faith I need to get to my goals and dreams and through my struggles. My life is always about God but faith is always about my heart.

Do you believe in Santa Clause? If only you had that much faith in others including yourself. Faith is a great thing to have and enjoy because we seem to forget the magic it can produce it our life. Faith can ignite millions to act and believe in something bigger than them. Our world today is falling short on faith and I hope and pray that we somehow find it again in our daily lives. I love the idea of Santa Clause at it is the time of the year when so many forget what they can’t do and they believe in the magic of giving. Christmas is not about presents. It is about family, and thinking of others and mystical lights that create a fantasy. It is about the faith we have that no matter what Christmas will be special.

Faith can be found all around you if you are looking for it. Your children have faith you will feed them and keep them safe. Many have faith the police will protect them. I have faith that the Dodgers will win the World Series. Many have faith in their spiritual leaders to guide them. What do you have faith in and why? The reason probably is because you just know it in your heart that you can believe in them. My guidance is the Lord. You may have another spiritual guidance but ultimately it is your heart that guides you to that point in faith that says I believe and I will follow.

I am always trying to get people in my businesses to just have a little faith and realize something great can be accomplished. This is such a tough thing to get across to people as they have so many reasons why somethi8ng will not work out. The problem is that they are usually right because they have no faith. I believe that if you start having faith it builds as time goes on. The more you have faith, the more faith you will gain. I have faith that this article will touch someone and make a huge difference in their life.

Never give up: How to keep your dreams alive

Dreams are a lot like chopping fire wood. If you keep looking at every piece you chop it will seem like a life time until you are warm. Know your goal upfront, have a plan and keep chopping looking back occasionally. After a while, you will have enough wood for the winter. I use wood chopping to point out many things in life. I always struggled with chopping the wood, but always enjoyed a nice warm fire when it was 20 degrees outside and snowing. Can you imagine what would happen if you gave up chopping fire wood because it was hard or tiresome? If that is your only heat, you will freeze to death. This is not an option and neither is giving up on your dreams.

There are many ideas and techniques out there that people use to keep on track. The best thing I do in my daily life is envision what it will be like when my dreams come true. I cannot imagine my life before I had dreams and the drive to pursue them. It must have been horrible as I would have had no hope. I love chasing my dreams every day. They seem impossible but I know that if I just keep chopping, I will get there. I stay convicted that I will achieve them. I am certain and no one can tell me different. I must guard them continually so that no one will talk me out of them or sway me. A couple of weeks ago, I was talking to a young girl in a store. I go in there all the time and we had started to talk more. She told me she was working 3 jobs on one accassion. I was impressed. She also told me she was going to school to be a wedding planner. Again, I was impressed with her drive and determination. She then proceeded to tell me she wants to plan and run weddings of $100,000.00 plus. I laughed a bit and quickly caught myself. I was laughing as I could tell this girl was hardworking but unrealistic and shooting way high out of the gate. Yet I know I shouldn't try to knock her down with my insensitiveness about her dreams. After all she was determined, and had very specific goals. Who am I to give a chuckle at her adolescence or immaturity? Luckily she did not pick up on what I had done. I knew better and had guilt on my heart for days after.

What would you do if you didn't keep your dreams alive? Will you be able to get out of bed with the same conviction every morning? What would your thoughts be about? I would not know what I would do as every day I am excited to keep marching towards my dreams and goals. I love the excitement of living my dreams. Recently, I had a thought about great people in history of all countries. What would our world look like today if these people had never dreamed? Would there be space exploration? Would we have civilized government? Who would be the rich and who would be the poor? Would the internet even be a reality? I know life would exist but what kind of life? I got all tense and uptight so I stop thinking about such travesties. I like living in my dreams and I have hope so does everyone else. Dreams give strength to the poor and disadvantaged. They help a proper man act like a kid. Dreams built Disney Land and inspired the Beetles.

Maybe you are sitting there defeated right now as your dreams seem hopeless. Maybe you even feel like a failure, but the only failure will be is if you don't keep your dreams alive. There is an answer, keep on going. Talk yourself into one more round. Find what it will take and see if something new will get you back on track. Seek out someone who has been there and get their advice and expertise. Do not just sit there with pity on your mind. Stand up and seek out your dreams. No one could knock me off course with a ton of bricks and a Mack Truck! I am resolved in my quests. I will achieve my dreams one way or another and I am thankful for the fighting spirit I have. You can do it as I believe in you. You must also believe in yourself first! Remember; do not give up on your dreams as you may be one moment away from achieving them!

Testimonies: Unexpected death

I am not sure if death is ever expected, which is bizarre if you think about it because we are dying from the minute we are born! I also wonder is death ever timely? As I sit here writing, I am trying to imagine when my death would be timely and I just cannot settle on when that would be. I am a Christian and I have my beliefs in Heaven and God, but I still cannot think of a time in which it would be OK to die.

On December 28, 2006, I experienced an untimely and unexpected death. I was not ready for it on many levels. I was in shock once it occurred and have been recovering from it ever since. The unexpected death I am speaking about was my mother. I never expected her to die after all she was one of the main reasons I was ever alive. I owe her everything so I did not want her to ever die. I know this is selfish but even as a mature man I did not feel I should have ever expected her departure. We had a bond that was never suppose to depart. I loved her unconditionally and have ache since the day she took her last breath. The emotions I have experienced have been overwhelming to me. I keep my emotions under control pretty well but her unexpected death has obviously taken me by surprise. How will I ever deal with her death is hard to imagine right now. My birthday, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving and Christmas have all passed without her here. I am struggling to pick a time when it would have been best for her to die but I am coming up short. She was needed in every month and in every situation. I need her now as I write this article to consult with her. If I pick up the phone and dial her number a stranger answers as her number has been recycled like her ashes into the earth. Her death is not needed at all during any minute of my life yet I would have never wanted her to have to bury me. That definitely would have been unexpected.

My mother lived with many health issues. She had congestive heart problems, Diabetes, Gout and other issues along the way. She survived 19 years in turmoil where most would have given in. Mother needed to die as it was unfair to her to keep suffering. She was not very old - 61 - but either way she was in a lot of pain. I celebrate her bravery as I can only imagine what she must have been feeling daily. I am selfish in my thoughts as I still wish she was here next me. She lived over a thousand miles away and yet we were neighbors. Daily phone calls and emails, letters and cards were a regular ritual with us. My birthday is in a few days and how I wish a card was coming in the mail. How did this happen? Why am I such a child still trapped in this man's body? Am I normal to be so selfish in my head? I am reluctant to even write about my thoughts for fear of being chastised or judged for such immature feelings. I never knew a life without her. She has always been as I got into fights, feared failure, graduated, got married, and had kids and every holiday. There were no before memories for me, only for her.

As my mother takes her last breath I realize this is it for us here on earth. It also becomes very dramatically clear to me that this too will be the fate of my three children one day. They too will experience unexpected death. How will they deal with this event in their life? Will it be timely for them? I would take a guess and say probably not. I do not think that anyone is ever going to be OK with death's timing that is left behind. I do believe that those who pass are expecting death to arrive, especially if they are very elderly or have serious illness or health issues. Death becomes comforting to those in pain. Sometimes for people in this state in life death is not timely enough for them as when you suffer for so long it gets tiring.

The death of my mother is tragic to me and was definitely not on my agenda for that day. I have made peace with it but still long for her motherly ways of days gone by. I wish we could rewind but that is foolish. If I ever figure out when her death would have been expected I will write another story called, “when I expected death of my mother!"

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/ 

Stop making excuses!

Thank goodness someone has finally said this out loud, even if it is me. Stop making excuses is what I am always telling people and thinking daily. You know what I am talking about don't you? You know the people who always have a great laundry list of reasons why this is not right, and that is not right, because people are always taking advantage of me. I can never get anywhere because of the government and the red tape, or my family was poor growing up. I never had a chance because I had a bad child life or my father abandoned me. Hold on, stop right there with al of that. My real father was horrible and my step father was an alcoholic but I still had the choice to choose my path. Are these people trying to sell to the rest of us that their life was predetermined from birth? This is like believing in Astrological signs that determine who you are by the date you were born. I would find this extremely depressing and helpless to know no matter what I do, my life has already been seen in the stars or because we were poor. What a hope less life you would have with no right of correction. Stop making excuses is the first place to start.

If you haven't realized it, excuses are just an OK for you not to do well or follow through on things. They are a 300lb weight of a reason in your 100 pound world. If you realize that you are excusing your life away then maybe you will stop making excuses. Excuses stop you from working. They stop you from thinking and trying. Excuses fill your head with impossibilities instead of possibilities. Will you at least consider that for every excuse you have that you have 3 reasons why you will not achieve or do something.This is powerful to realize as it can set you free. Will not understand that you are giving yourself permission to be OK with where things are at because there is a reason or excuse for it. I grew up poor and I found a way to make great money. My parents had polar opposite mindsets than me about business and money yet I found a way to make my own thoughts and have several profitable businesses. My excuse used to be we were poor and I was never taught anything different. I would have been OK with that excuse for self pity but I chose different. It fueled my fire. I wanted to be more than my parents were so i started reading about successful people and how they succeeded. I a=gave myself a chance by listening to other points of view. I now hope my children will be more than me. I hope that whatever crutch we are giving them they will choose not to use it. Do not OK your excuses ever. Put an end to excepting the status quo in this area of your life. Misery loves company and there are plenty of people out there who will join you in misery. The world is full of excuses.

So what can we do about the excuses in our life. What I know is this: Don't make excuses. Instead understand why you are where you are. Second, figure out a way to change your situation. Come up with a game plan and fight any urges to rely on any reasons. Lastly, do not allow yourself to blame anyone. Even if your situation is as horrible as rape or mugging or death of someone close to you, do not use that as a reason for anything. I know it is hard and you may be very traumatized by your situation. You will need to heal but when you do find a way out of this problem from occurring again and again. You can still have a very great life in spite of the horrific experience.

Please now join me in my way of life and stop the excuses from happening in your life as I have done in mine. If I meet you in life and I here a woe is me story from your mouth, just know I feel sorry for you. I will be thinking in my head that if this person only know what a sorry excuse that is they'd feel ridiculous.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Getting inspired

Wake up, I am talking to you! Today we are going to get inspired in our lives. The rat race is over. Today is independence day for you. I want to inspre you and I have a few questions for you. What would it take to inspire you to new levels? Have you ever though about it? Would I have to convince you it is possible with charts or examples? WOuld I have to pay you or dangle a carrot in front of your face for motivation? Would it take a tradjedy in your life to shake you? I ask these questions because I wish I knew the answer sometimes because you seem to be stagnet. I know of so many people just like you who want so much more in life but doing something about it just never seems like a viable option for them. Is it for you? Will you be able to do something about it? I really wish more people new my secret to getting inspired. I want to take you on a journey of my daily life. I want to show you what I look at everyday and help guide you to a life of inspiration. I want to inspire you to reach big and dream high. I want to encourage you to be the first female President of the United States. I want to inspire you to cure cancer or end racism. I want to inpire you to teach school children tolerance.

Life everyday to me is a series of possibilities. I look at what I see that could happen and who I can help make something happen with. I feel like I have something to share with the whole world. As I am walking down the street I see people and situations that inspire me to greatness. I want to light the world on fire. I am not necessarily a positive thinker and I do not always see the glass half full. What I do see is that there is somewhere I can go with every situation. From the moment I get out of bed I know I can do something great with today. It just is a matter of figuring out what that great is. I never shut down my brain. I am always working through possibilities of how I can make something happen. I am always looking for ways to inspire others and getting them to understand they can make a differnece. With my actions I always hope to inspire. Words are cheap but actions are grand. Mother Teresa was inspirational to millions with her actions and I am grateful.

So let's get you inspired. Let's look at your life in everyway and see what we like and dislike about it. Are your finances a mess? We can change that. Do you have struggles in your job? Maybe we need to get more knowledge or change our thinking. Are your relationships horrible? No worries, there is a plan of attack for that too. Why do you want to change? Life will pay you what you ask of it so let's ask for all we can handle! You want more. You require more and you deserve more. I am not talking materialistic items. I am talking all of life's fullfillment. I am talking all of life's desires for you. You are the master of your domain and it is time you take charge. Get up and get out of that comfort zone. Make the changes necessary for a truly inspirational life. Live your best life now and enjoy your hard work. I want this for you and so should you as it would be sad for you to not know my insprations for you. This is the life you want so grab it.

Man’s Search For Meaning

The book written by Viktor Frankle is an astonishing piece on the psychology of man in his quest to mind meaning in his life. The book, written during the time of the Holocaust, hits hard at the heart of many because of the totality of the situation. Men, women and children stripped of dignity, life, possession and hair and are left only with themselves. When the point of total emptiness hits in their lives and they have only their thoughts left, mans search for meaning begins. Frankle learns along his journey that man can put you in chains physically but only you can chain your mind. Frankle gets this better than most and because of that comes out of this horrific experience alive and thriving. Frankle to me was aware of his surroundings right from the get go and because of that I believe he was aware of what was needed to make it through this.

Frankle also points out that even at the worst point in their life people seem to be still so selfish. They have nothing but themselves, and they still can’t seem to not be about themselves and not their fellow man. Fight or flight is apparent in their actions.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who blames the world for their problems. I would recommend this book for anyone who thinks their situation is so horrible that they just can’t do any good. This book is for you if you struggle in life and business. If you have a weak heart, or a failed mind this book is for you. This book is for you if you are dealing with an impossible situation or think life isn’t fair. This book is for you if you had a rough child hood or marriage. I believe if Frankle were standing in front of most of us he would say, quit whining, find your purpose and live inside not outward. He would tell you that life is what you make of it and no one can take that from you. Purpose is everything for a meaningful life. Don’t feel sorry for me as I know who I am.

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/

Dream Big - Reach High

Why not dream big? Research has shown that the reason you probably don't is because the people closest to you don't let you. This is what I call a deal breaker and you need to stop it right now. If you are going to achieve big things then you will have to shoot really high. You may or may not hit your goal but I bet you will end up somewhere really good. It is paramount however that you stop listening to the naysayers around you. They don't mean to do it. They just can't seem to help themselves. If you want to know who to listen to, I will tell you. This is a huge secret so come close and listen....... You need to listen to someone who has done big things! It doesn't matter if you like them or their personality. What matters is that you realize you like their goal setting and accomplishment ability. I will bet you will not get negative from them if they are being right. They will help lead you down the path of I can do it! That's how they got there. You must realize that unless you live in a family that is very well off and put together and so are all of your friends, you will get the worst ideas, advice and support from these people. I don't want you to stop loving them. I just want you to stop making them your counsel for dreaming big. You need to rule out all the defeatist in your life and seek out the accomplished and achieved. I want to you also keep in mind that you must not be afraid to ask complete strangers for help or ask questions. Ask as many questions as you can so you can increase your chances of shooting big.

If from today forward you are aware of the people around you and how they think, you will start guarding your dreams better. Again, this is not a personal attack on aunt Susie or your mother or your dad but it is a wake up reality check for you. Mom and Dad are great at raising you and protecting you but they may not be the best dreamers and goal accomplishers. Good luck, reach high and guard your dreams!

Visit my website at : www.thecaneicorporation.com for more information on business and improving yourself. You can also view my meetup.com group at: http://self-improvement.meetup.com/219/